Twin death

[nicole2398]

My twin passed away today at 18+5 , baby B is healthy and big and happy however they're identical and I'm worried. I'm not sure il cope with the loss of babyA and worried il hate baby B for it

Hello @nicole2398 I had identical twins born at 30 weeks but sadly lost one shortly after they were born. She just wasn't strong enough.
You will get through this and for me having the other twin to concentrate on definitely helped me through it. I mean I won't lie it was all a blur but you have time to process and grieve and then a lovely bundle of joy will arrive to pick you up. We always talk about the daughter we lost to all her siblings like she has always been here and visit her grave together. You'll never forget but it will get easier xx 💐

Some of these comments, saying this is an ‘odd way of thinking’ and ‘how could you say that’ are horrible and so unsupportive.

@nicole2398, I’m sorry you had to read them. I’ve never been through anything like this myself. But I did have a complicated pregnancy with my first and was worried I’d resent her for ‘making things difficult for me’, I don’t know why I felt that way, but I did. I think it was part grief (not the same as in your case, but grieving the pregnancy experience I desperately wanted), part anxiety and worry and part a defence mechanism just in case she didn’t make it.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’ll hate baby b, in fact I’m confident that you’ll love them.

Please be kind to yourself and I’m very sorry for your loss xx

I lost a twin at 17wks OP, it was a heartbreaking thing to go through. The surviving twin is now 8mo old and a little sunshine, having him to focus on helped a lot.
The grief came and went in waves for me during pregnancy, but once twin 2 was here the love for him so was so all-consuming that it healed my heart.

I will never forget the twin that I lost but I have made my peace with it, before twin 2 was born I was concerned it would affect how I felt about him but for me it really doesn't.

I hope you have real life support and please look after yourself, you have my deepest sympathies and I really feel for you.

So so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're going through

Ignore the disgusting comments above, nobody has a right to question how you feel at such a painful, shocking time.

So sorry and good luck with your pregnancy and Baby B