Forceps delivery question

[Ola85]

I'm only 13 weeks pregnant and stupidly watched a birth video (no details shown) with forceps being used...
I now have two questions but don't want to google another scary story lol
Can a woman refuse forceps delivery and ask for c-section?
Is episiotomy part of forceps delivery? I can imagine the damage is substantial after such intervention and recovery takes longer?
It's my third pregnancy and I had two straightforward deliveries but that was 11 & 14 years ago. I am now older and fear things might be different this time ...

I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery and both me and my son were completely fine. My recovery was absolutely easy and complete. Forceps have a very bad reputation I think but my experience was only good.

I heard the episiotomy but didn't feel it as I had a spinal blocker in case it had to change to a section.

@SwimmingOnEggshells sorry to hear that, I also lost over a litre of blood. It was a very violating experience that left me completely shocked.

I wish I’d trusted my instincts rather than the white coats. I was induced and waters broke but they didn’t have space for me on the labour ward, 60 hours after waters broke they had to rush to get DD out. It terrifies me now to read reports of maternity scandals etc.

I’ll never doubt my own instinct again!

@BettysCardigan oh god that sound!!

Right 😬

Forceps was my worst nightmare too OP
I did have in my birth plan NO FORCEPS but I'd been pushing for hours and he was stuck and too far down for Caesarian... and honestly at that point I just wanted my baby out safe so I agreed, it was fine I had a spinal block so I didn't feel any pain and he was born healthy although a little bruised, but safe and well I had an episiotomy too and the recovery was a bit rough but I got there in the end

I'm another one who was petrified of forceps but ended up having them and it was fine. I had an episiotomy, which I was also terrified of. That was also fine. I asked for a c section but the baby was too far down. I asked for ventouse but the baby had a swelling on his head so that wasn't an option either. So forceps were the only option. I recovered much quicker than if I'd had a c section.

If you have had two unassisted births I think you would be unlikely to need forceps this time.

I had them for my first. I had a spinal block so it didn't hurt at the time. The recovery wasn't great (worse than friends who had cs), but I have no long term issues. I wouldn't choose them but they are usually offered when the baby is too far down for a cs, so it may be risky to decline them completely.

I had forceps and epistomy because my baby was distressed but because I had an epidural the process was not painful. Afterwards I did suffer though and my baby was in the nicu a few days but Is perfect now. In my case I am likely getting a section this time as they recommended it after the last birth. As tough as a section may be at the start, my doctors agree it would be less difficult recovery wise if a repeat of the last time were to happen! If it was again though I would have let them do anything to keep my baby safe! Those videos are bad news, honestly if you have proper pain relief you can’t feel or see what they are doing in the moment! For me it was just very hard afterwards as I was quite sore. But when you have your new baby you don’t mind half as much!

OP my experience is more middling, I had forceps after hours of pushing and I’d already had an epidural so was ok pain wise. They worked fine, not a mark on DS and a 2nd degree tear for me.

The recovery was fine really, episiotomy was a bit sore at times and it took a while before I could walk long distances again. I don’t have a csection recovery to compare but the ladies on the ward who had c sections were in worse shape than me in the immediate days after and I was glad I hadn’t had one. My urinary continence was ok but it has taken a year for my bowel continence to get back to normal. I suspect there is some minor nerve damage but with covid and it being manageable and not affecting my life I’ve never pursued it. It’s something I’d be worried about if I had another pregnancy as I think it might become worse then.

However I absolutely recognise the trauma mentioned upthread, being spread eagle in an operating theatre surrounded by staff was massively traumatic for me as was not being able to hold my baby for quite a while whilst the episiotomy was repaired. I held him straight after birth but then he was whisked away and I was so upset. I do wonder if my positive immediate recovery was to do with the fact they gave me amazing painkillers because I was distressed.

@ConnieDobbs

If you have had two unassisted births I think you would be unlikely to need forceps this time.

I had them for my first. I had a spinal block so it didn't hurt at the time. The recovery wasn't great (worse than friends who had cs), but I have no long term issues. I wouldn't choose them but they are usually offered when the baby is too far down for a cs, so it may be risky to decline them completely.

Not sure that is true, I had two perfectly straightforward deliveries followed by an EMCS and then a forceps. Thinking about it I suppose I was the wrong way round, first birth was a dream and I couldn't understand people making a fuss about it, 2nd was a home birth but a long hard 24 hrs, then the EMCS followed by the forceps.

I have to confess to being a horrible unnatural mother after the forceps, after weeks of not being able to eat much as I'm not big and baby was just over 10lbs all I could think about was I wanted to eat. I had tea and toast and wolfed it down, offered more and wolfed down more. I didn't even notice the stitching as I was too busy filling up my very empty stomach.

I’m in the process of deciding on a planned c section or planned forceps (long complicated story) but this thread has been helpful.

I’m scared of both but i see a c section as being more controlled where as forceps seem unpredictable. My mum also had a horrific experience with forceps that has affected her for 15 years after her first birth which has maybe clouded my judgement. I hope whatever you chose is the right choice for you.

@Greyrootszerohoots It's awful that women have to go through this isn't it? thankfully I didn't see the blood as I went into shock and then passed out. Weirdly I can't even remember seeing the forceps and I have no memories of the actual birth, I think my brain has wiped it out as a coping mechanism. For a long time I was quite bitter about it but I've come to accept it all now. I was also looked after really well postnatally, my consultant actually had tears in her eyes when talking to me about it all. She also saw me privately for my second and didn't charge any fees.

But to the OP, it's highly unlikely you'll have forceps if you've already had two unassisted births, they're nearly always used in primigravida (first baby).

@Thefaceofboe It is a hard decision. I had a horrible experience with an EMCS, had to have a general so didn't see DD for a while after she was delivered and I had the dual issue of recovering from a very hard 24 hour labour and a very rushed EMCS, doctor arrived and said baby has to come now and they grabbed my bed and ran, DH just left standing there. I ended up with a horrible lopsided scar that didn't heal well and has left me with an area that is sort of numb but that itches horribly at times and I can't relieve it by scratching because of the numbness.

I was determined not to have another CS although I know a planned one would be much easier. I remember saying to my Consultant that I'd have a planned CS if I knew it would end up in an EMCS. He told me he wished he had a crystal ball and could tell me.

I didn't opt for the CS, baby got badly stuck, I was terrified it was another EMCS, Consultant arrived as he had been called, he knew how I felt and said, "With the next contraction if you can move this baby even just 1 mm I will deliver with forceps, if you can't it is a CS" Well I pushed like an Olympic champion and heard him say, "Baby moved hand me the forceps." and he delivered a rather bruised baby but he was safe and well and I was happy.

If only we could all have that crystal ball. Ihope all goes well whatever you decide.

I had forceps with episiotomy and second degree tear. Wasn't ideal but got baby out very quickly and safely which for me was the most important thing. Took a week or two for downstairs to recover but all good now. I definitely would rather have that again than C-section.