early pregnancy freak out ramblings!

[Ceridwyn82]

So I did vaguely intend to get pregnant.....We started 'trying', as in had one month of doing the ovulation sticks and tracking the correct days, then kept missing it the next months due to various things in the way and actually decided we would pick it back up later. So I got pregnant in the 'non-trying' month and it came as a shock still. But I just realised, even though we started 'trying' I don't feel like it's a planned pregnancy as we have not planned anything! And I didn't for some reason think it would really happen. Not this quickly. Not when we had actually decided to stop ‘trying’. Now I feel loads of doubting like……. we should have timed/discussed/planned it better, I'm not sure I’m someone who should have a child, I want more time with my boyfriend being just us, I’m not even sure if he is the right person to do this with, we were meant to be going to Brasil to live for a few months in winter and meet his family, but now I'll be massively pregnant and we won’t have time really unless I decide to give birth there (I’ll save that for a whole other post!), it’s really bad timing as he’s actually working away for 6 months so will miss most of the pregnancy and I’m worried we won’t feel connected through this. I'd basically like to put it in the freezer and delay for 6 months. The whole 'trying' thing started as I was terrified of my biological clock ticking and thought I'd struggle to get pregnant. Now it's happened really easily, I feel like a bit of an idiot and like I totally could have waited longer and actually thought it through! At times I even think should I abort and then try again in 6 months when it will be the right time I can can go about it properly!! I do have times when I feel a bit more grounded and positive. A few people have said ‘oh this is what you wanted’. In my head I’m screaming ‘yeah, in THEORY!!!! Now it’s a whole different ball game!’ Just felt like sharing.

I think a bit of this is pretty normal... it goes with the territory of going from it being a concept, to a real baby!

I’m 5 weeks and had a freak out too, I think everyone does.

Now it’s time for plans. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to plan to abort and try again in six months... it’s such a small period of time, and really, there’s no suggestion that anything you’ve mentioned would really feel different then.

But do you still want to go to Brazil? Is it safe? Can you change the time you’re there, so it fits better with your pregnancy, or delay until next year and take baby with you?

What else do you need to have planned?

The early weeks are a bit of a weird waiting game/stress, but it feels more settled as you get used to it.

If you’re really unsure about being a mum, counselling might be an option - but that you suggest that you’d try again in six months makes me think this is a normal, natural reaction to getting pregnant, rather than a genuine fear.

Having a baby is scary, it’s lots of change. Give yourself time to get used to it

I was similar to you in terms of ‘kind of’ trying, we got married in October and decided we just wouldn’t use anything and see what happened but not consciously try or track ovulation or anything (me thinking it would take at least a few months)!

6 weeks later and 2 weeks after moving into our new house I found out I was pregnant and whilst I was happy I was totally shocked as thought I would have a while to plan and get used to the idea of a baby. I had the same freak out thinking we should have waited and spent more time together just us getting settled into married life, house etc., but it did die down and while I’m still terrified I’m getting excited now (23 weeks).

As everyone has always told me there’s never really a right time to have one, there’s always something else to do first or something in the way but if you know you definitely want a baby it might just be the shock and rush of hormones! I would give yourself some time to get your head round the idea before you make any decisions xx

I wanted to just echo what the others said about freaking out being normal.

Although I've been married to my husband for 4 years, together for 12 years.. and had spoken about the idea of kids maybe 3 years ago now we only decided to try for the first time in Feb. Some of my reasonings were the same.. fearing that my biological clock was ticking (I'm 35 this year) and that it might take a while so to move on it and see..
...and I was very lucky to fall pregnant in March.

I had a total freak out...questioning if this was really what I wanted. Am I just going to break our relationship into pieces over the stress of a child (our relationship is super strong) ...and did I really want my life to change for a baby?

...deep down. I know I do. But the fear deffinatley sits there. I'm still very early - 8.1.

I remind myself that just cause it happened so easily this time...doesn't mean it always will again... and that I dont think it never feels its the right time for a baby but everyone else seems to cope.. so maybe it can't be that bad :)

Based on what you have said. I think you may possibly regret a termination so perhaps speaking to a counsellor as someone above me has suggested is the way to go and think on it for a bit.

You'll be okay OP :)