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Original poster

3rd baby?

38 replies

Sleepisoverrated150 · 16/04/2021 08:54

Anyone made the choice to stick at 2 (but had thoughts of a 3rd) or took the plunge and went for the 3rd baby?

I don’t 100% feel done, we have enough money, big enough house but will need a bigger car. I’m more worried about the pregnancy and first year. I hate being pregnant and have HG so it’s pretty rough then the first year is always tough as I don’t have sleeping children. I basically would love another child but not the baby stage although I do enjoy a baby cuddle 😂😂 adoption isn’t an option my OH isn’t keen.

Just looking for thoughts / regrets / issues others have had?

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Original poster
Sleepisoverrated150 · 16/04/2021 11:55

Bump

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Mylasmummy2102 · 16/04/2021 11:59

So I'm pregnant with my 3rd after a couple years of being undecided but definitely don't regret it even tho my pregnancy hasn't be easy but I've got 2 girls 11 and 6 and now having a boy so we are very happy this will definitely be our last and we are very happy with that. But you have to do what is right for you and your family 😊 I 100% don't regret it only 11 weeks to go and we will be a family of 5 🥰

Tetrixxs · 16/04/2021 12:08

My 3rd has been the boy I never knew I needed! He is amazing, I’ve had no baby blues at all (I usually cry loads when they’re newborn) & he’s fed like a dream.
He’s just shy of 3 weeks & doesn’t sleep not on me but he’s slotted in so well & touch wood it’s been MUCH easier going from 2-3 than it was 1-2.

I say go for it Grin

I need to convince myself not to want a fourth...

Original poster
Sleepisoverrated150 · 16/04/2021 12:08

@Mylasmummy2102 interesting and you have quite big age gaps too. I’m excited for you, I’m definitely leaning towards yes for a third but my OH is more on the fence.

Congratulations I hope it all goes well for your pregnancy/birth x

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Original poster
Sleepisoverrated150 · 16/04/2021 12:10

@Tetrixxs that’s good good to know I went from 1-2 just before Covid kicked off so 2-3 should be easier with Covid calming I hope!

I definitely do not want 4, 3 is my limit....I just hope if we so go for a third it’s not twins!

OP posts:
Mylasmummy2102 · 16/04/2021 12:12

@Sleepisoverrated150
My other half was really on the fence and then it just happened and he's so happy especially as he's got his first boy ( not that we would be bothered of it was another girl) 3 is a nice number and I'm very excited for it 😍

stealthbanana · 16/04/2021 12:12

This is me, OP. We can afford it, need to do some work on the house, I have a big job that will be annoying to take mat leave from but ho hum. Also loathe the baby stage - 0-1 will be just survival. If I could be delivered a 2 year old I would go for it in a heartbeat!

I was uhming and ahing about it as it felt very much like a head vs heart decision but have recently decided to go for it as I thought I should be listening to my heart on this one. Esp as it’s the baby bit I don’t like - a lot of the “should I have another baby?” threads seem to be predicated on the issue that the OP actually wants another BABY. I’m the opposite - I don’t want another baby, i want another child!

PotteringAlong · 16/04/2021 12:12

I love my 3rd to bits, he was very much planned and wanted and he makes our family complete in a way it wasn’t before. My boys are 8, 6 and 4.

But, if I knew then what I know now I would have Stopped at 2.

PotteringAlong · 16/04/2021 12:14

Unlike @Tetrixxs 1-2 was a doddle for me; 2-3 nearly broke me!

Chelyanne · 16/04/2021 12:18

If you want to have a 3rd then go for it.

We had one of each with our 1st 2 and were happy as we'd had 2 mc's between them. Fell pregnant unexpectedly when 2nd was 5mth but miscarried at 8wk, I knew I wanted another then and got bfp with our 3rd 6 weeks after the mc. Got a copper coil after her, had it in less than a year and fell pregnant, went for a scan and they found 2 heartbeats and no coil. Under 3 years between our 3rd and the twins, we had to get a bigger car too. Now expecting our 6th after 2 mc's and a few chemicals, I love having a big family and I don't quite feel ready to say "no more" though I probably should lol.

MaryMow22 · 16/04/2021 12:19

We had 2 boys close in age and decided to go for the 3rd after much deliberation. We had a baby girl and have zero regrets!! They are 6, 5 and 2 now. I'm so happily done with babies and can't believe I ever questioned having the 3rd as she is just so sweet and perfect.

Allegra82 · 16/04/2021 12:19

I’m 12 weeks pregnant with #3.
My other 2 kids are 8 and 6. For us, 2 kids was a given, but to go for number 3 took years to decide. My husband changed his mind a few times, and I completely understand where he was coming from. Our lives with 2 primary aged kids was getting easier and we were really enjoying our marriage. But the urge for me never went away, and at 39 it became now or never, so we gave it a go and luckily conceived.
I think my husband is actually happier about it than I am, which I’m loving considering he was the one more uncertain.

Allegra82 · 16/04/2021 12:21

@Mylasmummy2102 your story sounds similar to mine! We have 2 girls and are finding out what #3 is next week. My husband will be over the moon if it’s a boy

Mylasmummy2102 · 16/04/2021 12:26

@Allegra82 it's so exciting I never thought we would have a boy I wasn't convinced it was a boy until we saw on a scan at 18 weeks and confirmed again at 20 weeks! 🤞 for you xx

StayingHere · 16/04/2021 12:30

I stuck to 2 after fantasising for years about a third. I'm actually really glad now that we only have 2 - my broodiness is well and truly gone and my existing kids are costing me a small fortune! !

IHateThinkingUpANewUsername · 16/04/2021 12:31

Are you me?!
I’m currently pregnant with number 2, on my second hg pregnancy and number 1 is a non-sleeper!
In my first hg pregnancy I thought I’d be one and done but pre children I’d said 2 or 3.
Now I’m pregnant with number 2 I’m wondering whether we should just go for number 3 relatively quickly... (Obviously will need to see how we cope going 1-2 first)
I’m concerned that if we stick with 2, that elusive ‘number 3’ will always hang over us and we’ll think what if. I really don’t want to have 2, get back to work, donate all the baby stuff AND THEN decide to have a third with a large age gap.

Sceptre86 · 16/04/2021 12:43

I have a 5 year old dd and 3.5year old ds. I didn't want anymore but dh always wanted at least 3. He mentioned it a few times and the last time I said I would seriously give it some thought. I did and was leaning towards saying no, then his cousin had a dd and we saw her for the first time when first lockdown ended. I was changing her clothes and she kept smiling at me and I remarked to his cousin, 'God, I want one of these'. I told dh and we fell pregnant quickly. What was holding me back was that i have had two sections, neither of which were great and my recovery was complicated. I am scared about that happening again but I have dealt with it twice before so can do so again if I need to. I wasn't concerned about material things as we will reuse a lot of the big purchases and I have clothes for both sex anyway and will no doubt be gifted stuff. I am a bit concerned about being stretched too thin but I think I am strong enough to cope and it helps that my dh is 100% an equal partner and parent. Ultimately I don't know how it will pan out but my two are both excited, dd wants a sister and ds a brother whereas I couldn't care less although dh would like another dd. At this point I am just excited.

Sceptre86 · 16/04/2021 12:45

It was also kind of now or never as I didn't want to have a too large age gap. I'm also 34 and don't want to spend all my 30s having babies.

PraiseBee · 16/04/2021 12:46

@PotteringAlong

I love my 3rd to bits, he was very much planned and wanted and he makes our family complete in a way it wasn’t before. My boys are 8, 6 and 4.

But, if I knew then what I know now I would have Stopped at 2.

Which is....? Cliff hanger!!
PotteringAlong · 16/04/2021 12:54

Sorry @PraiseBee!

That I would have PND with number 3 that was really tough, never having had it with the first 2.
That you cannot fit 3 car seats across the back of most cars so I needed a new car.
That family rooms are for 4 people - we’ve outpriced ourselves of most cheap deals, even for not stating overnights but family tickets
That our finances have taken a bartering - another lot of maternity leave, nursery fees. The youngest starts school in September and I will still be paying £1000 a month in wrap around care.
That We couldn’t take them swimming when we were little - local swimming pool has a 1-1 child to adult ratio until they were 5.
That when they were tiny and no one was sleeping it was just brutal. Probably applies less if you have a more sensible age gap!

All of this is stiff i knew in my head before I had him but it is stuff that adds up to make life slightly more complicated than it needs to be.

Do not get me wrong, I love him to bits and I don’t want anyone to get the impression that I begrudge him, or the time, or being outnumbered, or the money. But lots of stuff is geared up to 2 adults and 2 children and when you fall outside that it’s just a bit harder.

PotteringAlong · 16/04/2021 13:03

Actually, I’ll give you a really silly example but it kind of illustrates it:

We hired a caravan. Hoseasons. 5 beds. When we got there there were 4 plates, bowls, seats at the table. We asked for more but the people were incredulous that we had 5 of us, because people hire 5 bed caravans so their children can have a room each.

It made no odds, it was sorted in a day and is clearly not a reason to not have a baby. I just use is as a “it’s never as straight forward as it should be” example.

stormelf · 16/04/2021 13:16

We have finally decided to try for number 3 after a long time trying to persuade DH.

Before kids we always planned on having three but spent five years and 5 miscarriages before having DD. We had 2 mc between DD and ds so had decided to stop at 2 once he was born. But I just don't feel like our family is complete though. We've given ourselves a year to try for number 3 and if it happens it will be amazing but if it doesn't I will still be more than happy with my two.

Original poster
Sleepisoverrated150 · 16/04/2021 14:01

@PotteringAlong yes this is another concern that the world is geared for families of 4 but i did see an advert for Disney the other day that had a deal for 5 wooo!

@stormelf I think we would be the same if we ttc it wouldn’t be tracking just stop using protection and if it happens it happens. I would be happy with just my two. Atleast if we ttc there isn’t any regret and we did try.

@IHateThinkingUpANewUsername we put all our stuff in the loft just to be on safe side until we make a decision.

@StayingHere woo thats good to know that the broodiness goes over time if I stuck with 2.

My OH could carry and have the baby I would definitely be more tempted 😂🤣😂

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 16/04/2021 14:16

@Sleepisoverrated150 also, DFDS seaways does cabins for 5 on their Amsterdam ferry: simple things Grin

stormelf · 16/04/2021 15:53

@sleepisoverrated150
Exactly! That's what I said to DH I would always feel regret if we never even tried but at least now I know we are giving it a shot and if it is meant to be it will happen. Doesn't stop me constantly thinking of baby names though

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