2 missed miscarriages in a row - looking for hope

[Davey88]

On Friday at a 10 week scan I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage - the baby had sadly stopped growing at 6+1. I also had a MMC in May 2020 at 8 weeks, and then it took me 10 months to conceive again.

With my last miscarriage I was bleeding for 2 weeks previously so I had an indication that something was wrong, but this time it was a horrible shock - I thought the chances of 2 MMCs in a row would be very low.

Apparently I have no risk factors for miscarriage and it could just be bad luck. But of course I am now expecting to have another miscarriage if I get pregnant again. I know that they won't investigate on the NHS until you have 3 miscarriages so I am going to try to go private if I can afford it.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has had 2 or more miscarriages and then had a successful pregnancy? Also if it's not too personal and anyone could share if they ever found out the cause of a miscarriage - I know most of the time we never find out.

Thanks X

@Alexaandra firstly I am so sorry. I had 2 MMC last year and it's just awful, you can kind of come to terms with one but two in a row is desperately unfair and cruel. I hope it is comforting for you to know that I am now 28 weeks pregnant.

Rather than going to a fertility clinic, if you check your local Hospital that has a recurrent miscarriage clinic, they may accept private patients so you can see the same doctors but jump the queue. I saw Mr Economidies at the Royal Free, he wasn't the warmest doctor in the world but he knew his stuff and within 5 mins of looking at my bloods he had found the issue which was my thyroid. To the GP my thyroid was fine but the consultant said it was OK but not good enough to support a pregnancy, hence why it is so important to see a specialist. He also reassured me that he was confident I would be able to carry to term.

Step one: Speak to your GP and ask if there's any blood tests they can do. For example, full blood count, thyroid, iron etc. I think they can do the test for sticky blood as well.
Step two: Get the GP to write you a private referral and find a consultant. Take your blood test results from the GP otherwise the consultant will just want to do the same tests but charge you for them.

Something you need to know is even if you are seeing an NHS doctor in an NHS hospital, if you are private, any prescription they give you is a private prescription and you will have to pay for it. I was prescribed thyroxine to get my thyroid under control which I've moved over to NHS now, but also progestogen and clexane injections. These two prescriptions cost around £500 for the courses I needed. I am also on aspirin but please don't take it unless you have discussed this with a Doctor.
I had a few appointments with the consultant and then once pregnant I had scans at 6, 8 & 10 weeks and then NIPT at 10 weeks. All in I think we spent around £2500-£3000. I would spend the money again tomorrow if I had to.

I found after my second MMC, making a decision to go private and have all the tests etc really helped me mentally. I felt that if I had done everything I could to check for a problem and all came back normal then I could just try again knowing that there was nothing more I could do. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sending lots of love and strength your way ❤️

@Knock123 congratulations!! ❤️ I'm very happy for you, such a positive story!! Hope all continues to go well and wish you and baby all the very best, it's SUCH a wonderful experience and I'm very excited for you! :)

Thanks so much for your kind words and positive story, it's really helped me cope and be hopeful for a better future, I found it so much easier to understand and accept this is happening to so many women out there and also pushing me to try and exercise the little control I do have in this by trying to figure out if there's anything I can do better. You're so right to say it's such a powerful, cruel experience...

I'm sorry to hear you have a thyroid problem and hope you're keeping well. I have thyroid problems in my family and among my friends and know it can be quite a difficult one. Well done to your doctor for finding it! It must be such a relief to figure out the issue and to keep it under control, it's so much about the mental health as well and how helpless we feel when we fear something might be wrong and we can't do anything about it.

Thanks for sharing so many details of your story, it's really helped me understand how the system works and what options I have. I'm with you about the cost and would rather get to the bottom of it earlier than later and should I need treatment for anything, I'm happy to invest in my health since it makes such an impact on my life.

I took some time to reply because I already had some appointments booked and wanted to see what happens. My GP unfortunately has turned me down as I only had 2 MC and when I asked for referral to a fertility clinic, she insisted there's no evidence we can't conceive since we have a little one already. It was all very raw at the time of my appointment and couldn't handle any more insisting, but I want to go back now and ask for blood tests and follow your advice. I also had my MC check-up appointment at the Barnet early pregnancy unit (where I had gone for the previous MC as well as all the early pregnancy scans I had with both lost pregnancies) and tried to approach them about further help from Barnet hospital and, again, they said it all looks fine and just come back when I'm pregnant again and they can refer me at 6 weeks to check blood and progesterone levels and offer any treatments at that stage if needed. But I feel I want to make sure all is well and/or do anything needed ahead of trying again.

Thanks for recommending your doctor, when you said Royal Free you referred to the Hampstead hospital, right? Barnet Hospital is also part of the Royal Free Trust.

Thanks again and again for all your support, love and best wishes back at you!! xx

@Alexaandra
Thank you for your kind words. It is a horrible club to be in but you are not alone and there are lots of ladies online who unfortunately have been through the same thing and can help hold your hand. The liklihood is you WILL have a successful pregnancy next time but I also fully appreciate wanting to tick everything off the list before you try again.

The GP 100% can do a private referral for you! Ask for an open private referral to a recurrent miscarriage specialist. I have private healthcare (unfortunately doesnt cover fertility/miscarriage) so I have had the GP refer me many times over the years for different things, including this. They basically just write a letter with your previous relevant medical history and all blood test results and then you can source your own consultant and just take the letter along with you.

Yes Mr Economidies is at the Royal Free in Hampstead, we must live very close as my antenatal care is all at Barnet this time. He actually set up the recurrent miscarriage clinic at the Royal Free, which is why I picked him. You can just go on the Royal Free Private Patients website and find his secretary's details or pick someone else if you like the look of them!

The other things for moving forward, if you can get some therapy or counselling sessions do it. It's really common for women who have had multiple miscarriages to suffer from PTSD and its important to work through that with an expert. I mean maybe you're fine but it's helped me a lot. Unfortunately privately this is a very expensive option (around £120 per session) but you should be able to self refer through the NHS if you feel this is something you need.
Secondly, when you are ready and do pregnant, there is a book called Pregnancy After Loss by Zoe Clark Coates which especially in the early days, was a lifeline for me. Also do lots of relaxation/mindfulness/breathing exercises and stay away from Google as much as you can!

I do regularly check this so if you have more questions please do ask away xx