Surely this isn't normal?

[MayMum2021]

I'm a week away from my induction and I'm under a specialist mental health midwife due to a history of anxiety and coming off my medication not long before getting pregnant.

I suffered with panic attacks in the first trimester and was referred for therapy and during my assessment phone call for the therapy was told I seemed ok and didn't need their services and would be referred back to my midwife.

Ive had a lot of health problems during this pregnancy and my panic attacks have started again recently, I have PTSD due to sexual assault and I find myself getting worked up about the internal examinations I'll recieve during labour and also having intrusive thoughts about myself or baby not surviving childbirth or being seriously ill. I know it's extremely unlikely and I'm able to rationalise with myself but the thoughts are still popping up and it's horrible.

I was referred to the same organisation again, had my assessment call this week and was told I was fine , don't need counselling , all women get anxious before birth and what I'm experiencing is normal.

I'm pretty sure it isn't normal right? Of course all women are anxious about childbirth but not to this extent. It took a lot to reach out and ask for help and I was made to feel like I was being silly and it was totally normal.

Not sure what the point of this post is just wanted to rant!

Actually I did have hideous thoughts of the type you describe, without any history of abuse. Sorry. It must be worse for you though and in my area I am sure you would be treated better than this.

No it isn't normal. Most women are anxious about childbirth, but like you said not to that extent. With a history of sexual assault I'm shocked they didn't do more to help. I think sadly when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth we really have to push and advocate for ourselves (I'm sure if men had to go through it then things would be different!). You should definitely push to be assessed again and get the support you need and deserve.

Hey, I am currently receiving councilling for a number of issues and one of my biggest worrys atm is dieing during child birth even though this is my 4th child. They haven't once said I'm being silly and it's normal. The mental health midwives were excellent for me, maybe you need to speak to them again or ask for a different Councillor? Xx

You poor thing! It's very normal to feel nervous about labour, but what you're describing sounds very difficult to cope with. I'd go back to your midwife and explain what's happened and that you'd like some actual support. If you're only a week away from induction that's probably going to look different now, but it should still be possible for your midwife to write a care plan for you and put it in your notes for your birth. Also to make everyone aware that you'll need extra support after the birth.

I personally got better support from the community midwives once I'd got home than on the postnatal ward.

It really doesn't sound like they have listened to your concerns properly. Vaginal examinations in labour are a choice, they aren't compulsory. Midwives/Doctors have to gain your consent prior to any of them and if you say no, they can't go ahead. Unfortunately induction does require vaginal examinations. If you feel that they may be triggering for you then have you got the opportunity to discuss your options with a consultant prior to your induction to see if you can find a plan that would be sensitive to your needs?