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Original poster

Partner cheating whilst im pregnant

13 replies

Littlemissprincess01 · 09/04/2021 14:44

Hi really looking for some advice please.
Sunday i kicked my partner out as im pretty sure hes cheating. Im currently 16 weeks pregnant with our child.
He told me he is missing me, he cares, wants to be with me and hes not cheating.
I asked him to come over so we can sit and talk about it. He never showed up and is now completely ignoring me.
I have a medical scan Tuesday which i already know hes not going to show up for (he missed ny 12 week scan stating men don't really care about scans) so what do i do? X

OP posts:
Moominmiss · 09/04/2021 15:12

Only you know your partner, and the grounds on what you believe he is cheating.

Regardless of what he has or hasn’t done, his attitude in supporting you at scans is what jumps out at me though.

Has he been a supportive partner to you up until now?

Do you WANT to raise a baby with him? Was the baby planned by both of you? Was he happy about you being pregnant etc?

I’d be concerned that after he says he misses you etc and gave you the sob story he then didn’t bother showing up to talk.

At this point I’d be questioning what is actually going on with the relationship. Is cheating the actual cause of this behaviour or is he running scared of the whole pregnancy situation.

How were things between the two of you before you fell pregnant? Is this behaviour from him a new thing?

Do you have family and friends that can support you through this?

SunnySideUp2020 · 09/04/2021 16:25

Agree with @Moominmiss
But that doesn't sound like someone scared of having a baby.
Sounds like someone who either has some serious issues you aren't aware of, or simply doesn't care at all.
Not showing up to talk after he asked is very weird too. 😕
Hope you have real life support

SunnySideUp2020 · 09/04/2021 16:26

And men do care about scans. At least the men i know.

Moominmiss · 09/04/2021 16:32

Yeah what @SunnySideUp2020 said re men not being interested in scans.

My partner was distraught at the thought he might not be able to attend the scans with me. Thankfully he was, and he took days off work to accompany me.

Similarly in my previous relationship, my husband wouldn’t have missed a scan.

Everyone of my friends partners have attended scans with them, and looked forward to it.

I think it would be far more unusual to find a man who was so disinterested in their partners scan. Especially if it was a planned pregnancy.

Cam2020 · 09/04/2021 16:32

He didn't turn up to try and repair your relationship and he doesn't care about going to the scans. This basically tells you everything you need to know about this man and his investment in you, your relationship and your child.

Men who want their babies are just as keen to go along to the scans as women - its not 'men' who don't care, it's that man.

BebesChamber · 09/04/2021 16:39

What Cam2020 said.
You need to accept that actions speak louder than words.

FelicityPike · 09/04/2021 16:43

Stuff him!
End the relationship for good & carry on being a single mum.
Don’t give the baby his Surname! Tell him when baby is born & let him know when you’re going to register the birth...if he chooses not to turn up, that’s his choice. Then contact the CMS.
Good luck to you without this feckless idiot in your life.

Luckyelephant1 · 09/04/2021 16:44

Get rid. Even cheating aside, the fact that he has the audacity to say men don't really care about scans rings massive alarm bells about the kind of person he is and the type of father he will be.

I don't know why some people think the rules about priorities are different for men and women. The child is half yours and half his, imagine if you were the one saying you don't care about scans Hmm

soditall56 · 09/04/2021 16:47

My dh wasn't allowed to attend scans due to covid and was heartbroken and every man I know has been to scans so that seems like a shit excuse.

Suzi888 · 09/04/2021 16:51

So he wants to get back together but he’s ignoring you Confused. What a man.
It’s his loss. I hope you have support, don’t take him back, he doesn’t sound respectful or loving at all.

MintLampShade · 09/04/2021 17:34

Maybe he doesn't but men do care about scans. DH came to all my appointments and I had a fair few!

I'd look for support elsewhere, OP! He doesn't seem to care much about the baby or you. And then we haven't even talked about the cheating and you kicking him out...

MadMadMadamMim · 09/04/2021 17:38

He told me he is missing me, he cares, wants to be with me and hes not cheating

And yet, his actions demonstrate he could not give less of a shit about you or the baby.

Dump.

Original poster
Littlemissprincess01 · 09/04/2021 17:56

Thanks for the advice, Im just going to concentrate on myself and the baby, and cut all contact with him. X

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