How do you deal with all the interest in your body shape?

[FTM91]

My mum lives in another country so I'm getting constant, 'do you have a bump' 'send me a picture' and then comments on how big or small it is and why that might be....(the best one was 'I don't think you'll start showing until quite late as you have quite a large cavity... )

Likewise family I've seen in the garden, oh it's big, it's neat, it's smaller than I expected etc etc. Comments about whether I have or haven't put on weight anywhere else...

Well what do you bloody expect I'm carrying a baby in there, of course there's going to be a bump. end of story!

I know I'm being completely unreasonable as its the first baby in the family and everyone is just excited, but I feel like I'm just one big bump to everyone now instead of a human being and it's the only thing they want to talk about! Just needed to vent I guess....

Wear a very oversized t shirt 😉

It's the norm tbh, just change the subject

When I was pregnant with our twins I was approached by lots of strangers, I was huge! I have had some very big babies too. I don't mind people commenting but just tend to smile and nod at them as their comments are quite repetitive.

People seem to forget themselves when talking to pregnant ladies. I think it's just people making conversation - I've been told by the same person I'm huge then a week later that my bump is tiny. Nobody ever said to me "your bump is really average!" despite being 50th percentile every time I get measured

No, it's not unreasonable to ask that the conversation be moved away from your growing tummy and maybe onto how your keeping and is there any support you need.

But do try to be kind with the subject. I have come across very direct and blunt a few times. I've upset my mum and MIL when I got a bit snappy. They do tend to understand and accept the apologies. These people care about you and your baby, I'm sure they're just showing their interest and excitement the wrong way. Guide them gently the right way to compliment you, or not at all x

Oh bless you! I think I'm going to hide my bump with oversized tshirts 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don't want those kind of comments. If they annoy you, definitely say something xx

I got annoyed and started responding with comments about the other person's body. I'm not sure I'd recommend this, it upset people, but perhaps it made them think.

Oh ffs. Sorry but get a grip, so your mum asks if you have a bump yet? Big deal. Really baffled at some of the things people have to worry about in life..I would literally give absolutely anything for my mum and family to be here with me, and you're moaning that yours are excited about you being pregnant.

I think it's nice they're excited. I don't mind the excitemenr. However, its unacceptable if any comments are made about weight etc. I am hoping no-one comments on that. I must admit, I'm struggling seeing my body change so I can understand why the focus on body image is difficult

It obviously depends on how You feel about it as an individual. I’m normally very self conscious but love seeing my bump grow, and don’t mind at all when people comment on it. I wouldn’t be ok with people touching it apart from my husband but that’s a personal space thing. I am pleased to be having a baby so I’m pleased when people are interested enough to comment 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s just people trying to share a bit of joy and excitement with you

I really don't care! I'm enormous, I'm aware I'm enormous! I'm growing a whole baby in here and I'm actually really proud of what my body is doing right now and how well I'm coping with the pain and discomfort. People are just excited to see how you are getting on.

I remember this with my first pregnancy. My favourite was “you don’t even look pregnant from behind!” Well, why would I?

It's weird, now I have more of a bump I'm quite pleased. But I don't like other people drawing attention to it. I think it's because I'm quite a private person and pregnancy is so visible/public. It's also hard to split it from general weight gain which I'm quite self conscious about.

It's not the biggest issue, but it's definitely annoying.

I hated the appraising looks at my bumps from strangers and "ooo, the way it's sitting it's going to be a boy/girl". If I'm lucky enough to have another one, I'll be much quicker to say "please don't"

Most people won't realise you have heard the same comment about 10 times that day. I had people constantly telling me my bump was small, neat, tiny, then the next day someone would say I was huge. Like a pp sandals, I also got the ' you don't look pregnant from behind' alot!

I didn't really mind the comments as people are just excited for you, but in the early days, I used to worry abit when people said my bump looked small. DC is my first baby so I didn't know what to expect, I remember thinking, should baby be bigger? That kind of thing.
Dc was just over 8 lbs so I didn't need to worry!

People can't seem to help themselves. People keep asking where my bump is, im 15 weeks and don't have 1. And people at work keep telling me im not eating enough and to remember im eating for 2 now. Told them lots of times I don't need extra calories until the third trimester and even then it's an extra 200-300. Apparently the midwife must have got them wrong because that doesn't sound enough. I've started just ignoring it

Doesn't bother me, I find it all quite fascinating as well TBH so I can quite understand people asking!

Also, I'm on my third now, this pregnancy has had a lot more of that "Show us your bump!" because I'm not seeing people in person like I would have done in previous pregnancies.

You are not being unreasonable at all... I had a lot of “you don’t even look pregnant!” As if I was just making it up.

Large cavity made me laugh... what does that even mean, sounds like you’re a roast chicken.

I guess people are just interested and there’s not much else to say at this point... but I do still think it’s rude to comment on your body.

If anyone touches your bump, just give their belly a little rub in return.

Lol sounds totally normal to me. It doesn't bother me when my family/DH's family comment because they're excited and it is one of the few things they can talk about to feel involved, particularly at the moment when we're all far flung from each other (thanks, Covid)...what really annoys me is when strangers take it upon themselves to comment. I got a "how far along are you?" when I went to the supermarket last week and when I gave them a (vague) answer I was met with "my god you're huge then aren't you, you'll need a crane by the end" and "are you sure there's only one in there".