I’m pregnant. DH happy. But I’m not.

[BeYourLongLostPaal]

I found out yesterday I am pregnant. I already have a 9 year old DD from a previous relationship. I’m happy with my life. Everything being exactly how I like it. DH is thrilled! This baby will be his first. But I’m flirting between happiness and pure DREAD. I’m not ready for my life to change. Constant sleepless nights again. No peace and quiet. The stress. I want so much to be ready for this. But I’m just not. I can’t terminate. I just couldn’t do that to DH. But at 30 I never expected to be a mother again, I don’t want my body to change again. Labour with my DD was aweful! But i wouldn’t change her for the world. I’m almost hoping I’ll come on my period and this whole thing will be a false alarm.

Did you discuss children with DH? Does he know you never wanted any more? Were you using contraception?
You don't have to have a baby if you don't want to, though I acknowledge that would probably have an impact on your relationship.

Yes we discussed children it was never off the table as such. This pregnancy was not planned how ever my contraceptive implant has ran out and I didn’t get it sorted out for one reason or another. Stupid I know. But that’s what’s making this even harder. If we don’t do it now. We will have to later on in life and that will make it even harder, if that makes sense.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed and a bit negative about it. In fact I think it’s totally normal for some women.

I’m pregnant with baby number 4, but my partners first. I gave 3 dc from a previous relationship. My youngest is 7 so I’ve been done with baby years and sleepless nights for a long time.

I knew my partner would like a baby of his own, and I was open to the idea. We tried for 18 months and in the past year went through 4 miscarriages to get this baby so it was Very much longed for by both him and me.

Even with wanting this baby so much, I still feel utterly terrified and sometimes doubt the decision. I feel overwhelmed and wonder what on earth I was thinking to be starting again with nappies, sleepless nights and childcare. Not to mention we now have to get a new car to fit everyone in, and just the general costs.

But I’m 38 so waiting any longer wasn’t an option for me. I have days where I think I’m crazy for choosing this, but I know ultimately it will be the best thing ever.

Once I got my head around the fact it was really truly happening, I’ve found the happy days outweigh the scary ones.

But, all that said if you really feel not ready, or have realised this isn’t the path you want to take, then you do have choices, and you need to do what makes you happy.

Good luck with everything x

Hey @BeYourLongLostPaal - I’m having my 3rd which was planned but even still, when it actually sunk in and the symptoms kicked in I was utterly terrified and even considered a termination. I put it all down to first trimester hormones and my body being totally out of whack. In the second trimester now and happy I didn’t terminate, excited too to be honest, still terrified though. It’s normal to be scared, like you say if it’s something that was going to happen eventually it’s only so much you can put it off. See it like this - this time next year you will officially be done and have your life back x

Thanks so much everyone. I spoke to DH on his break earlier I’m feeling a bit better. Probably just a mini meltdown out of sheer shock. I think I’m more worried about the body changes during pregnancy and after. It took me a long time to come to terms with this new body i was stuck in after DD, as vain as that sounds.

My first done some serious damage to my body, second not so much but I can already see my boobs are looking pitiful lol. I’m hoping once baby is out I can spend the time trying to fix any issues and hit the gym etc x

After I assumed I was finished having dc I met dh and we have 1.. Not wanting him to miss out he dealt with most of the sleeplessness!! I bf and he did the resettling and getting up early!

I’ve just bought a treadmill and exercise bike to get into shape as well! Lol I’m assuming I can still do all these thing. Thanks so much ladies. I was only 21 when I had DD and didn’t really look after my body while I was pregnant but I guess now I have age a wisdom on my side! I’m a lot calmer than this morning for sure