Pregnant and terrified

[unsure2021]

Please help me.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first child and I feel really really sad. I cry all the time and feel like I am trapped in a nightmare I can't get out of.

I hate seeing my body change, I cry for hours and I am dreading and terrified of my life changing and my post partum body.

My partner is so happy and excited and is so sad that I'm not. I feel trapped with no way out. I can either carry on and loath my body and life and being in it or if I wanted to terminate, it could destroy our relationship.

I guess I'm asking if any of these feelings are normal

This sounds like prenatal depression to me. I would advise you to speak to your GP. They will support you with speaking to the right people and possibly with some medication to help.

It's not uncommon and you will feel better with some support.

I hope you start to feel better soon

I'm sorry you're feeling this way but I can totally relate. I really, really struggled with my body changes in pregnancy. You are not alone. I now have a beautiful toddler and learnt to appreciate how incredible my body was for giving me my child. Have you spoke to your midwife? If not I'd definitely recommend, they can point you in the direction of help. I felt like I couldn't but I did get an appointment with a mental health nurse at the gp. I then had CBT while I was pregnant on the nhs and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I hope you feel better soon lovely. Sending big love and remember every feeling is only ever temporary.

My first child was planned and took a year to conceive. I definitely had moments of sheer terror when the reality sank in but I got used to the idea and my son is so amazing.

When we tried for our second, I fell pregnant immediately and was shocked that O dodnt have more time to get my head around it. I really freaked out and remember crying a lot. I remember feeling trapped and that it had just happened too quickly.

I wasnt excited about the baby and felt like I wouldn't love it. There were definitely points where I felt low and joyless and didn't know what was wrong with me, as the pregnancy was very much planned! However, when she was born I could not believe that I had ever worried. She was perfect, and has brought so much joy to our lives!

I spoke to a midwife at the time, and she was amazing. She did say that prenatal depression can feed into postnatal depression, so it is crucial that you speak to yours and be honest. Looking back, I wonder if pregnancy can throw up a lot of emotions and issues that we already have lurking in there, and getting them out kind of deflates that balloon of fear and sadness. That is just my experience but I definitely had that sense of not being able to run away and feeling bleak. It did get better and my kids are two little gems that I am thankful for each day. Please keep us updated.

Thank you for the replies.

@Anonapapple same in that we conceived this baby first try which I wasn't expecting and it's been a shock. When really I should see it as a blessing to be grateful for.

@unsure2021 yes, I totally get you! One minute we decided to try for a baby and two weeks later I was pregnant. We were both really shocked. I said we should start trying because it would probably take ages, like my first. There were lots of external stressors throughout the pregnancy too, and at times I remember feeling so sad. Something I remember that was strange was actually feeling embarrassed telling people. I actually felt ashamed even though I was married, stable, settled, in my 30s and it was planned! I told my friend to just spread the word of my pregnancy in work as I felt too embarrassed to tell people.

My husband also felt that it had happened too soon, and he struggled with it. I was also quite sick at the start and was constantly vomiting in work and just felt like I hadnt thought it through properly.

My daughter is nearly 4 and I cannot describe the light she brings into our lives. I could just chat to her and cuddle her all day. She makes me laugh every day. (My older child is a total too, just to be fair- but I didnt really struggle during my first pregnancy).

It was the exact combination of that exact egg and that exact sperm at that exact time that made our daughter who she is and I am so grateful for that combination, even if it did seem a bit soon!

My older child is a total joy too, I should say!