Negative view of motherhood

[Theyarealltaken]

I wonder how did you feel after your baby arrived? I don’t know if I’m seeing too many negative things but I’m just overwhelmed with the “bad view” of becoming a mother. I hear about exhaustion, lack of sleep, sore nipples and breasts, lochia, weak pelvic floor, scars (metal and physical), potential postnatal depression or baby blues, loss of identity, struggle to bond with a baby, missing old life etc. As a person that never really likes babies/children it fills me up with anxiety and stress. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and don’t really hear about anything positive related to your new life as a mother.
Have you experienced similar issue? Could anyone tell me something good about postpartum period?
I am scared ☹️

Oh no please don’t think it’s all bad. I think in an effort to make mothers feel they don’t have to pretend it’s amazing 24/7 it’s back fired a bit!
Having a baby is amazing; for a small proportion of people it can feel mainly negative but my experience was that it was hard but it was also amazing. Baby cuddles are the best and even though it turns life upside down you do adjust to it and for me the highs far outweighed the lows.

All I saw through the haze of exhaustion and soreness was my beautiful babies.
Even now when my 5 kids are driving me insane, I still walk in their rooms at night to check on them and just take time to admire their perfection as they sleep.
The good things will always outweigh the bad for me.

Being a mother is the best thing ever, not easy but so worth it! Every experience is different, and people tend to write about their negative experiences a Lot more, as they try to figure out what to do etc... But when all is fine, you don't even think of taking your experience to the Internet, you just want to enjoy!

The weight of that baby on your arms, shove your nose into their crook of their neck and just be still. They're 15 months and it's still my favourite thing.

There is nothing more rewarding then being greeted with open arms and a big smile by your toddler when you pick them up from nursery or get them up in the morning.
They love you unconditionally and don't care if you haven't had time to brush your hair or put on clean clothes.
There is no denying it's hard work but it's your instinct to get on with it once they are here. Xx

One up side is that you're not pregnant any more! My first baby was massive, long and I was overdue in a v hot summer. It was a great relief to get him out and no longer have his feet scraping down my ribs painfully.

Also, babies are fascinating - the way they develop and change each day. When they first start crying actual tears (I had no idea that babies don't produce tears initially), when they first smile at you, when they make funny faces at you, and so on. When they're content and asleep on your lap after a feed, just totally relaxed, is the most amazing thing. When they first work out how to roll over and disappear under the sofa...! So many funny and wonderful moments like that.

I have felt kind of the same in pregnancy, I'm 39 weeks now. I haven't really
Been told anything positive, it's all 'you'll never sleep again', 'get used to feeling like crap', 'you might start shitting yourself after birth' and other such delights.
But my husband has been told nothing but how amazing it is?!

Agree that the 'real' side of motherhood has gone a bit far the other way. I hope so anyway!

If it's so awful why do people have two,
Three and more kids?!

Those things are true but it's also the most amazing thing ever!!! Best thing I've ever done despite the lack of sleep!

My first was a challenge as we had a lot of visitors and I was concerned about doing it "right". My second was in the first lockdown and it was just our little family and so very perfect.
They are challenging now at 4 and 1 but I feel like I will explode with all of the love I have for them (especially when they are asleep!).
Those early days of tiny baby ness are so magical. Just take the time to soak it all up.

It's fun to watch your newborn change and see what little things they do. Depending on your experience of pregnancy it can be a great feeling not being pregnant anymore. Also lots of people enjoy the walks and discover lots of nice places they hadn't seen before.

Theyarealltaken, all I can say, which I hope will reassure you, is that the things you mention do not last. I didn't have them all and many don't but I did have a couple, ie extreme tiredness and PND. However it did pass and I felt like myself again which was marvellous.

It is unfortunate, sometimes heartrending, when you read stories of women who have been through hell and back with pregnancy and birth but the majority don't.

You do need to take good care of yourself afterwards and accept any help that is available for the first few weeks.

If you think about it, nobody would go on to have more children if they suffered indefinitely after a birth - most go back to work and are fine after a while.

Op, I had pretty much the same worries when I was pregnant. Before I was not maternal at all, very career orientated, no experience with babies in any shape or form, and I loved my sleep. I had a major wobble around 37 weeks along the lines of 'what am I doing with my life'.

My son is now 5 months old, and I can confidently say he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I am going to explode with all the love I have for this little human. And now I don't give two hoots about lack of sleep, or spit up, or poo explosions, or my c section scar, or my mom pouch. I would do it all again in a flash. I just want the time to slow down so I can savour every second with my little boy for longer. Watching him learn things is the most precious thing in the world.