Worrying about how to juggle work and two kiddies!

[CarlyAM]

Hi there

I didn’t know where to turn with these worries, so thought I’d post here in the hope of finding some kindred spirits or at least a little advice.

I’m 19 weeks pregnant with our baby girl and already have an 18 month old boy. My husband and I currently work full time, with our little boy going into childcare 3 days a week and the other two days we do in shifts, juggling work and looking after him between us (thankfully working from home). We manage, just about, with the odd couple of hours from my mum helping when we have meetings that clash. My worry is that we won’t be able to do this with two, at least not effectively.

I’ve always wanted to stop work when I had kids, but it’s just not financially viable. We need my salary to pay the mortgage and nursery at the moment. I also don’t think we can afford for me or my husband to go part time, as we need the extra money to save for my next year of mat leave (we know we want 3 children).

I know I’m way off this time wise at the moment, but I like to forward plan important stuff like this and am at a bit of a loss as to how to solve it. It’s really stressing me out.

You are deciding to have kids close together which makes things more tricky and expensive in terms of childcare. If you want a third why not wait a while till you will be in a better position financially? Maybe when the eldest get their free hours or attends school?

I had a 15 month age gap between my two and was fortunate to be able to go part time. They both went to nursery two half days a week. Dh would collect them and feed them lunch and put them down for a nap in his lunch break. They would then usually sleep for two hours. He would work from his mum's in the afternoon and if they woke up she would care for them for about an hour or two until dh finished work. He was able to schedule his calls mostly in the morning or late afternoon. It would have been a lot more difficult if he hadn't had mil's support in the afternoons. Would you be able to request flexible working so you could compress your hours? Or would you consider a nanny or childminder over nursery?

It can be done, might be a bit of a struggle at first but you will find a balance that works for all of you. X

You can either afford the childcare or the savings I think. But don't burn yourselves out. Most families reduce their hours or flex them (could you both work compressed hours full-time over 4 days and have a day off).

I’ve just seen these replies! Didn’t realise mumsnet posted this as it said ‘something went wrong’ when I tried.

Thanks for your advice, we worked out that to ease things 4 days a week for me work wise is do-able. It’s not ideal as we’d like to keep my salary for the next mat leave, but it’s a back up plan at least.

We have said we could wait a little longer for the third than we did for the second, but quite honestly I’m not getting any younger. I’m 34, which means I’ll be 36 having my third so I want to make the most of time while it’s there.

We’re both working from home now, so will try and manage initially at least