Mat Leave Planning

[newmama3021]

Hi Mums, I'm a FTM and due end of July. My DP and I are fortunate enough to get a significant amount of time for parental leave.

I get about 12 weeks before/after birth as a birthing parent along with 10 additional weeks for parental leave (typical for birthing and non-birthing parents in my company).

My DP gets 12 weeks.

Initially we were planning on me taking the full 22 weeks and then he take over; but I'm now considering splitting my time up around his. This is so his work - mostly done on commission - isn't impacted too much, and I'm not out of work for almost 6 months at once.

So my question to you guys is - do you have any recommendations or thoughts on taking the full or splitting mat leave? We're not sure what to expect to be honest as this is a first child for the both of us.

Are you planning on breastfeeding?

I would call 22 weeks a significant amount of time really. I am currently on mat leave and will be off for a year- 52 weeks. I am breastfeeding.

Yes, planning on breastfeeding - hopefully ebf till getting past 6 months as I have the option to continue working from home; so my DP will be primary and I can be near by to nurse.

I have a ebf 4 month old and I would really struggle to be back at work. She wakes up a lot at night still and has had a slight cold recently which has meant she has really struggled to sleep (and although she was pretty good at sleeping when younger, she has probabky slept less well since 12 weeks for some reason).

I think if you wanted to do that you would need to express and bottle feed whixh yiu wiukd need to establish early- I honestly don't think you could be great wfh and still having to nurse, unless your job is incredibly forgiving with you randomly dropping off all the time.

@LittleRa

Are you planning on breastfeeding?

I would call 22 weeks a significant amount of time really. I am currently on mat leave and will be off for a year- 52 weeks. I am breastfeeding.

Typo- I meant to say I wouldn’t call 22 weeks leave a significant amount of time

Depending on your job you might be bring over ambitious. My DD takes an hour per feed which is exhausting at night and I couldn't keep working while feeding as she's a pain pulling off and needing relatching etc. She also needs top ups and I have to pump due to slow weight gain. Feeding her is a full time job all by itself to be honest

Are you not in the UK then OP?
Here we get 39 weeks paid leave and 13 weeks unpaid so 52 weeks of leave in total
22 weeks doesn't sound that much tbh

I'm not sure it is possible to split your leave with a period of returning to work in the middle, at least not in the UK?

In the uk you don’t have to say when you are coming back to work for 8 weeks before you do. The reason for this, is that no ones how they will be, or how there baby will be.
With one of my babies, I could have (if needed) physically gone back to work at 22 weeks. I wouldn’t have liked it, but my body was fine, and we were all getting plenty of sleep at night.
With the other of my babies, a far more traumatic birth, she barely slept and work up several times a night. I couldn’t stand up straight for 2 months after birth, and had an ongoing series of ailments for months. No way could I have gone back to work so soon. Maternity leave is also about the birthing parent recovering from the physical side of pregnancy and childbirth.

It doesn’t sound like you are in the UK, but planing the share of care across maternity/parental leave is tricky, and you don’t have to commit to it yet.

Sorry to contradict the above but 22 is enough leave. I went back after 18 weeks first time (returned last April) and still bf until 9 months.

@Mummyof2Terrors

Sorry to contradict the above but 22 is enough leave. I went back after 18 weeks first time (returned last April) and still bf until 9 months.

I didn’t say it wasn’t enough, but the OP said it was “a significant amount of leave”. It may well be enough (for some) but it isn’t a significant amount.

It is. The US you're back after a few weeks.

39 weeks of SMP is a nightmare for many that will be facing a 70-80% drop in wages. Taking less than what is legally allowed is the compromise. 22 weeks without fully paid employment is a significant amount of time.

Will your companies allow you to split it? In England you are allowed to, but companies don't have to grant it. Personally I would want to work as close to the birth as possible and take my leave in one chunk. I would have found it hard dipping back in to go off again and then you have a baby starting to wean so becoming gradually less reliant on breastfeeding. I found the 4m mark hard (sleep got worse, you are expected to be coping ok so doing more) and would have found it a tough time to return.

However if you have a flexible, wfh job, this would be easier. You could take breaks to feed. Just be aware that when they are little, breastfeeding can be frequent e.g. hourly, not on schedule and from 3-4m they start noticing the world more, so become less inclined to feed quietly while you continue working.

I m sure you could make it work with your partner taking, say two six week blocks and you working for a month in-between when you are based at home. But right now aim to keep it flexible. There are downsides too to wfh in that your baby knows you are there and it's hard if they are crying etc and you want to help.

Also (assuming UK) don't forget your KIT days as a way to keep your hand in.

I think 22 weeks is a a decent amount of paid time off, much better than I get!! You can definitely split the time off, I think the maximum is blocks of three. We are in England and this is what we are doing. You also get 10 KIT days when on maternity and 20 KIT days (each!) when on shared parental, so there is the potential to do one day a week. A close friend of mine BF until the age of 2 and she went back after 6 months! You just need to make it work for you.

It’s up to that number of KIT days of the employer agrees to them, they don’t have to offer any.