Pregnant, currently at a foster placement with my 1 yo and court order. Please help.

[Bekiioo]

Hi all, new here. This may be a long one but I’m so torn.

I have an amazing 1 yo little boy who’s my world. SS have been involved since he was born mainly because of the father and my mental illness. Father is now out of the picture.

Past few months my MH went really down hill and I’m fighting for my son in the courts while we stay at a mother and baby foster placement. I’m doing well and there’s never been any concerns around my parenting. I have an amazing bond with my son and care for him very well. It’s just SS concerns about how my MH will affect my son. So I’m awaiting psychological assessment. I’m in a much better place. I’m just proving that to them and awaiting the right support.

A few days ago I got a blaring positive test. I don’t know how far I am but it’s probably early. 6-7 weeks max.

I would love another baby, but I’m just scared it will mess things up and risk losing my son. I will 100% choose my son over anything but I’m stressed I will have to choose in the first place.

I know 2 under 2 is incredibly difficult. Especially as a single parent and all this going on. I want to do it, and prove I’m capable. I can get better and I can manage it.

Any words of advice? 😔

You need to be honest and open with your social worker. It may be that this latest pregnancy is not a 'good' time and you need to explore your options but it may be they you can mash it work with children's social cates help. Who is the father? If it's the man you are meant to be safeguarding your son from and proving you have extricated yourself from you could find the picture is a bit different

Mash? Help make it work

Very much agree with Margot, a lot will hinge on who dc2 s dad is. Are they supportive of the pg?

Dc2 father is just someone I have briefly been seeing. He’s supportive, but not someone I’d choose to be the father but things just happened. I’m willing to be honest with SS and work with them, like I have from the very start

Thank you all for your comments

Honestly, I wouldn't continue with this pregnancy in your circumstances. It has the potential to make you look really irresponsible and that you haven't learned from your mistakes.

I think you should take a couple of weeks to think about what you want to do and then talk to the social worker about it

Echoing what PP has said, continuing with this pregnancy would not bode well with SS. It will only make seeing your current child more difficult. Bringing another child into this situation simply isn’t fair on your son or next baby. Concentrate on building a foundation for your current child. And please use contraception!

What PPs have said but especially @Nat4392 who has said eloquently what I was trying to type but failing badly.

You need to prioritise your existing child. I'm sorry to sound mean but I think it would be an incredibly selfish thing to do to bring another child into the world in your current circumstances. As you have said your son is the most important thing to you so please put him first. And start using (or improve) contraception.

I’m on the pill, and we used a condom but it broke. My ds1 was conceived while I was on the depo.