8 weeks, really ill, not coping

[PerspicaciousGreen]

I'm on two different morning sickness meds and I'm not very nauseous but can mostly only eat apples. Yup. My diet is 90% apples. I'm drinking lots but always thirsty and always have a dry mouth, and only squash because water tastes funny.

But I've been in bed for two weeks. I feel dizzy and faint if I do more than shuffle to the loo. My husband has dropped everything and is doing everything - chores, looking after two kids, buying me more apples... I lie in bed and try to sleep all day because if I'm asleep I can't feel bad.

But he really needs to start doing some of his work. I have my first midwife appt by phone on Weds. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure I'm working myself up to feeling worse because of how stressed I am by not being able to get out of bed. We can't go on like this for another fortnight, another month... I've got to get up.

I had bad sickness my second pregnancy but remember going to my first midwife appt in person so much have been feeling somewhat better by then, right? I keep crying because I feel so I'll but I just don't know how to help myself.

I think you need to phone someone before Wednesday. You need to eat more then apples, it’s probably not helping. Maybe sprinkle some sugar or nuts on to give you a boost?

Do you have any family who Could help?

I'm trying to drink smoothies too, as they have calories, and I can usually manage one banana a day too. I'll be honest and say I'm not that concerned about my eating right now. I'm getting lots of liquid in and ingesting some calories. I don't feel like I can expect much more at the moment!

I just don't know who I could call. My parents tend to be more trouble than they're worth in the helping stakes at the best of times, and my mum's been ill. They're supposed to be coming for a visit on Wednesday afternoon but it'll just be a short sit in a garden as she's not up to much.

I have actually just thought of a friend I could ask to take the 3yo out to the park for an hour or so with her 3yo. (I don't think the 1yo would be happy to go off with anyone else - due to covid she hardly knows anyone.) I might be able to manage with just the 1yo, lying on the sofa while she plays for a bit. Then DH could have an hour or so.

What I want to do is go to A&E and have them sedate me for the next month and then wake up better with all my problems sorted out by someone else... Stressing about it isn't helping! I'm just trying desperately to distract myself and sleep as much as possible even though I'm kind of over being really ultra-tired. I'm also already stressed about giving birth and just feeling like we had such a great time with two, why did we go for a third, isn't it a massive mistake already? I know I won't feel like this in a few months time, but right now it's totally overwhelming.We'd also wanted more and I know now this will have to be the last one as we won't be able to do this again and I'm just gutted.

Oh you poor thing, this does sound rotten.
Assuming this will pass at 12 weeks, can you stretch to afford a temporary nanny and/or house keeper for the next few weeks?

It does sound like you need some more medical support, have you spoken to your midwife recently or your GP?

Further to my last comment, to be honest it does sound like going to A&E is a good idea.

Hi OP, I'm in my second HG pregnancy so I feel your pain. The early stage you're in has always been the worst for me so take some comfort in the fact that things are highly likely to improve later in pregnancy. Please contact Pregnancy Sickness Support charity for advice and guidance. What meds are you on? May be able to change these if they're not working very effectively. It's great that you are getting fluid down you as dehydration is really the biggest risk. Enlist as much practical help and support as you can and if DH has to do everything for a while that's just what will need to happen. I'm 13 weeks and have been mostly useless since week 6, but things are slightly improving for me as time goes on.

I don't mind letting the house go to shit and DH only doing the most basic cleaning (laundry, dishwasher). I really doubt we could afford a nanny or any childcare. I mean, we could potentially take money out of savings but we couldn't cashflow it. Before all this I was trying to get our 3yo into a nursery for September and can't find a place anywhere. I wonder if I could just get a babysitter for a few hours a day? But covid's making it all so bloody complicated. We've never paid for childcare before and wouldn't know where to start. I'd have to talk to DH about what he'd find most useful. (He's out with the kids at church right now.) I'm sure he'll get all heroic and say he'd rather plough on as we are and he can work in the evenings. That's sort of his lookout, I feel, as he's doing all the work, so childcare would be to help him, not me!

I just don't know what more medical support I could be given. I'm taking max medication, afaik. I could do with a Victorian-style nursemaid to come and hold my hand and spoon laudanum into my semi-conscious open mouth. I'm not aware of what further medical aid is possible for me at the moment. I feel like objectively I'm doing quite well. I'm drinking lots, I'm eating, I'm not having to do anything. It's just subjectively utter hell.

@Tippytaps

Further to my last comment, to be honest it does sound like going to A&E is a good idea.

I've thought about that, but the very idea of getting dressed and getting a taxi makes me want to die. Also, I'm pretty sure they'd check me over, say I'm physically fine, hook me up to an IV, then send me home again and I'd have to spend the next three days recovering from the exertion.

If those are the only two meds you've tried there's likely a whole range of different types you haven't tried yet. Between my two pregnancies I've tried a total of 5 different medications and there are others besides them. Pregnancy Sickness Support charity will be able to advise you further on meds and then you can contact your GP and push for some different ones potentially.

my first 3 months was hell with sickness during first pregnancy.

i didnt take any medication for it.

@MeadowHay

Hi OP, I'm in my second HG pregnancy so I feel your pain. The early stage you're in has always been the worst for me so take some comfort in the fact that things are highly likely to improve later in pregnancy. Please contact Pregnancy Sickness Support charity for advice and guidance. What meds are you on? May be able to change these if they're not working very effectively. It's great that you are getting fluid down you as dehydration is really the biggest risk. Enlist as much practical help and support as you can and if DH has to do everything for a while that's just what will need to happen. I'm 13 weeks and have been mostly useless since week 6, but things are slightly improving for me as time goes on.

Thanks for the pointer to Pregnancy Sickness Support. I had a similar thing last pregnancy and am really proud of myself for managing to drink so much and eat. I feel like objectively I'm doing really well - it's just I feel awful. I'm on cylizine and... um... onestradon? Something like that? I started cyclizine the second I got the positive, then added the other one last week. I've never had a problem with actually puking - just not being able to ingest anything.

I wish I'd written down what happened last time as I'd love to remember when it stopped. I know I went to my first midwife appt (i.e. Weds equivalent) in person so I must have been well enough to get up and get on a bus!

I miss my kids. I barely see them. Anything that gets my heart rate up makes me feel awful and they're just so bouncy.

@PerspicaciousGreen - I’m in the same boat, have 2 and wondered why I’d put myself through this and disturbed the perfect harmony of the life I had. I’ve been unwell for 10 weeks now. Nausea started at 5 weeks accompanied with indigestion and heartburn. Still going strong with the nausea now at 15 weeks. There’s been some good days where I swear it’s gone but it comes back the next day. I’m miserable, depressed, miss my old life and my old self. I don’t like life right now and only thing keeping me going is not doing this again.

Made it through another day. Managed to eat a little that's not fruit! I know it's going to end, but when?

I got out of bed today! I sat in the sitting room and cuddled my children and talked to them. And I ate a small sandwich! Midwife appt by phone tomorrow morning. I hope this is the beginning of the end. Thank you to those who've commented

@PerspicaciousGreen - so happy to hear that. Baby steps x

That’s great news 😀 I hope you continue to feel better x

How are you doing @PerspicaciousGreen?