Reaching out..

[Peachee]

I am at a loss..
I am struggling to sleep and cried into my pillow last night.
Background is I am deemed high risk as I have a BMI of 33.
Had my 12 week scan last week and have been offered the quad test as they couldn’t get a clear image of the baby’s neck to screen me for downs Patau etc.. the report states that this is due to my high BMI.
Have read up that the quad test only screens for downs which I was initially panicked about but now I’m absolutely convinced something is wrong.. which I know is absolutely ludicrous.
I have been looking at the NIPT tests privately and my midwife has suggested a private Nuchal translucency test but I’m now concerned that I will fork out for these (I am on minimum wage) and they will also fail due to my BMI.
Feel at a total loss with what to do as I just feel like my BMI is going to be the essence of this pregnancy and that any problems will be excused because of that. I’m absolutely petrified and convinced the baby isn’t well and have felt totally detached From the pregnancy ever since.
I have read the quad test is totally unreliable and often gives a positive high risk of downs which will just add to my anxiety and I am also increasingly worried about the space of time I have to get things sorted.
I am holding it together for DPs birthday today but I am absolutely on the ceiling and feel there is no where to turn for advice.

Please don’t judge me on my BMI I have had bariatric surgery that failed which I paid privately for and I already feel like this is a kick in the teeth.
I am starting to think that maybe I’m just being selfish and I shouldn’t continue with the pregnancy. It all seems so hopeless.

Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I just want to start by saying you will not be the only person who is pregnant with a high BMI, and I'm sure others will be along soon with the experiences.
Whilst a high BMI can put you at a higher risk of certain things, this does not mean you will experience them all, they're just going to keep a closer eye on you to give you and baby better care if something does come up. Problems won't be excused because of your BMI, you'll get the same treatment and guidance as everyone else.

In terms of a private NT Scan / NIPT test, the scan machines used for these are often better than the standard NHS ones, and you can always ask them what would happen if the scan was unsuccessful before booking. If you're unsure about the quad test, then private tests may be better to put your mind at ease.

If at all possible, try to go out for a walk or make some time for you to relax today, to calm down your anxieties. It may also help to speak to your OH, as I find mind is often quite practical when my anxieties take over. I really hope you feel better soon and can start feeling more positive again.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so worried. I don’t have advice about the scans but I know what it’s like to be worried and exhausted from lack of sleep. I hope you manage a rest and a nice time with your DH on his birthday. Things will look a bit better after a sleep. If you’re young your risks are much lower anyway.

I'm sorry your feeling this way. I have a very high bmi of 51 at booking in. I'm not 37 weeks & have had no problems at all. I'm high risk but all health care people I see actually keep commenting on how healthy my pregnancy is. At my last weigh in at 34 weeks I had only put on 10 lbs since booking in.
Sorry I can't help with private tests as I never needed any but just wanted to say just because you have a high bmi doesn't mean you won't have a good healthy pregnancy.

I had a bmi.of 37 with my first. I found that every scan had a comment written about my bmi in the notes but they could see and got all measurements fine. Maybe baby was just in a weird position and they couldn't quite get the measurement.
I developed gestational diabetes but otherwise I had a really good pregnancy and a healthy baby.
Try and enjoy your day and get a good night sleep 💐

Thankyou for all your kind words. I’m so grateful. Xxx

Honestly lovely try not to stress a high bmi is very common these days and many people go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies, my bmi was high on all my pregnancies and the one radiologist made me feel awful saying she couldn't get the measurements she needed on my one scan. One scan in four pregnancies that only she struggled on. Have the quad blood test and go from there.

There was a thread a couple of weeks ago about ladies who couldn't get NT measurements because bubs was uncooperative, no mention of BMI. I have a BMI of 22 and they very nearly couldn't measure my baby because it was unbelievably awkward (and has continued to be at every scan/heartbeat check), i was lucky that I had a very persistent sonographer (took over an hour).

Just wanted you to know that it can happen regardless of BMI so be kind to yourself. Do your best to stay healthy (not easy when you feel like crap, I could never confess my current diet to an HCP) but try to enjoy your pregnancy. You never get your first pregnancy again!

Whilst I didn't have an issue with the NT reading and my risks came back low for the chromosome abnormalities I can relate.

My bmi is just over 40 which apparently triggers an ever higher level of risk. I'm
Actually not even that big in the grand scheme of things, I'm a size 18 but I am heavy with it.

Either way we didn't we could have children and once I'd seen the consult after first scan and found out about the growth, scans meds for aspirin, the extra folic acid is already been on and the blood thinning injections I
Will need from 28 weeks along with extra mid wife appointments, consults with the anaesthetist I was well and truly disappointed in myself for the extra burden on the NHS and stress abs anxiety on myself.in addiction I'm 37 so classed as old. Not exactly how I had hoped my first pregnancy would leave me feeling.

I am at 17+1 now and in that time I have settled right down. I am grateful for the extra care and realise a lot of this is preventative care to reduce risks.

Not being able to read the NT could simply be because of the position of the baby, another scan alone might be required rather than the NIPT. Hopefully the blood test you've already had can shed some light on your risk before you decide anything else

Lots of well wishes and good luck

My BMI is 32, I was also on the NT measurement thread mentioned above as the sonographer couldn't get nuchal measurement due to baby's position but BMI was mentioned.

I opted to go privately rather than wait for quad as I am 41 and I could afford it. It was about £200. The private clinic saw me the next day, and had no problems getting the measurement despite my BMI.

I totally understand the feelings around BMI, I go to every appointment feeling I have to apologise for my age and weight. Thing is if losing weight were simple I wouldn't have lost and gained increasing amounts over the past 20yrs and I have had zero advice or support on addressing it in pregnancy, just told not to gain more.

It’s so interesting reading your posts. I’m glad I’m not alone. I will have a look at the previous thread. Thankyou again. Really grateful for the responses.

If anyone has the link to the thread would they mind posting it please.

I thibk quite a few private NIPT or Harmony testing places give a partial refund if they can't get conclusive results.

Morning.. just wanted to update this thread should someone be searching for answers like myself in the future. Have had a private NT scan and they managed to get a clear image this time and I should have my results by Monday next week. Relief! Thanks for all your support on this thread. I really was in a dark place when posting. Times like these I am thankful for the internet and for having this kind of resource. It’s absolutely invaluable.

Best wishes for Monday.