Eptopic Preganancy - Supporting Girlfriend

[Ben1989F]

Hello everyone,

My girlfriend and I were 6 weeks pregnant (well she was, I look pregnant but that's just the beer)

Unfortunately she was in major pain today so I rushed her to A&E - we were diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. She has the option of surgery or a drug and she's been told she needs to decide by Sunday.

It's extremely upsetting (I've had a secret manly cry) but she hasn't shown much emotion at all. I want to support her as best as I can - do you have any advice on how I can do that?

Also - is pregnancy now possible? She's 33 and I'm wondering if any ladies on here have had an any issues conceiving after an eptopic.

I feel slightly to blame as I've been banging on about having children for around 5 years now and eventually she said 'oh go on then' and now this :(

Thanks for any help or advice you can give.

Commend you for comimg onto this site to ask for some advice firstly, well done. Sorry to hear your you both have had to go through this. As far as im aware if medication is an option if the pregnancy is early enough then its a better less invasive option. I think they often remove the effected fallopion tube if the other one looks healthy enough. Your doctor should be able to advise the best course of action though as I assume that alot off different factors may affect what treatment is best.

You shouldnt feel guilty at all, its not your fault, you didnt cause it. She obviously wanted to get pregnant you dont just say oh go on then cause your partner has harped on at you.

As for supporting her all you can probably do is give her time and be there. I think you need to try and read what she needs. Ive never went through an ectopic prenancy but I know when I went through hard times of loss alot of the time I like to be left alone and not fussed over too much. Then when I was ready the nicest thing my husband done was run me a bath, washed my hair, left me to have a cry and came back got me out and dried, clean jammies and clean bed sheets on the bed and he just sat and cuddled me. We are all so different this might not be her thing or maybe you can think of something else you know would help her. Even try and communicate and just ask her what can i do to help you or make you feel any better? She might even feel better seeing you cry and you sharing your emotions.

Good luck!

I had methotrexate (the drug I presume you mean) at just over 6 weeks pregnant in October and am now 10 weeks pregnant with a so far healthy little one. I had a pregnancy of unknown location, meaning they thought it was in my tube but it was too small to spot on a scan. For me, methotrexate was the best way to go as I was terrified of surgery, plus they had no idea where it was so surgery may not have been successful. Downsides were that it meant lots of blood tests to check my HCG levels were coming down after the injection and it meant we couldn't try again for 3 months afterwards (which in the end was a blessing as I was quite traumatised by it all and wasn't ready again until after the 3 months). I was absolutely fine after the jab as well - no side effects, sickness etc.

It's lovely you are there to support her. I needed my husband to just listen when I spoke about how I felt and support my decisions throughout the process. Lots of cuddles when I asked for them and time alone when I needed it. It's horrible to go from thinking you have a baby on the way to realising not only have you lost the baby but it could potentially also cause you damage.

Really hope you are both OK.

Also, I'm 35 so older than your girlfriend.