Breastfeeding again after a nightmare first time

[crispychicken12]

Hi,

I want to breastfeed again, but I need advice on how to do this as the first time around was truly horrific for my son and myself and I'm terrified of it going wrong again. I have no issue with formula feeding, fed is best. I would just love to give this baby my breast milk and hopefully it work out.

I'm pregnant with #2

DS #1 was 10lb 1oz born early via csection. He was breastfed, his weight dropped initially but they said that was normal. I was cluster feeding, he was always attached to my breast. Initially we had some issues around sore nipples but we got past that.

His latch was great, he had no allergies. I expressed milk and bottle fed as well as breastfeeding.

My son was 11lb at 4.5 months old. He hadn't gained much weight. We spent 2 weeks in hospital where they monitored me (during this time I was only seen by a breastfeeding support worker once) they said I was feeding perfectly, for long enough and i was topping up his feeds with expressed milk. He didn't gain even an ounce during this time.

The doctor advised I keep going, but feed him formula too. His weight improved after this, I then moved onto full time formula as I was emotionally and physically done at this point and he then began to gain weight and thrive.

Fast forward to now, I'm having a csection again, baby is due in august

I have only 3 weeks off university (I was only given a leave of absence - I cannot take a year off unpaid, financially it is not an option)

DH is taking 3 months paternity leave (hopefully longer if we get the go ahead from his job)

I am a student nurse, I will be attending uni for lectures but I do not have to work 12 hour shifts at a hospital until December.

Please can you advise me on how to be successful at breastfeeding? My supply was great first time, I had a great electric pump. My ds1 always took milk despite not gaining weight.

I will formula feed if baby doesn't gain weight. But I really want to try and get it right this time.

@crispychicken12 I heard that they are now delaying weighing babies born via c-section in some trusts until the day after as there is something about them weighing more due to fluids. Perhaps something to look into to see if thats happening in your area?

With regards to advice I would probably say you should take it as it comes and try to relax as much as possible but I am not sure you'll be able to fully establish supply if you're only off uni for 3 weeks so that might be quite difficult?

@LifeIsBusy I know, I'm hoping I can build a supply before I have to go back. I won't be in uni all of the time, so I'm hoping to express and feed to build the supply up

@crispychicken12 I think you should join some of the pumping groups on fb - specifically the American ones. Americans tend to go back to work super early and there is an entire network out there for advice. I returned to work at 16 weeks with my first and pumped the rest of the year but it was long road especially as you need to keep pumping every 2-3 hours which is obviously difficult to maintain.

Pumping is definitely less efficient at getting the milk than a baby is.

I feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself when you did the best you could during what sounds like a difficult situation last time around!!!

The key to building supply is to feed feed feed. Seriously, there were days when I did nothing else... establishing feeding is HARD. But you know that...

There are certain supplements that can help improve supply. Might also be worth consulting a lactation consultant...

Be kind to yourself!!

I never had any issues at all bfing DD1 but DS2 was a different game.

He was born 40 +3 after an easy peasy VB 8lb 14oz outting him in the 90th (or something) centile. Latch was never an issue and feeding all went well. He fed for much shorter periods than his sister but I knew that length of feed didn't necessarily indicate quantity.

Anyway, at 4 months I was changing him and realised he really wss looking very skinny, I could see his ribs. I'd been keeping an eye for a while but this particular day I just thought oh my god. I weighed him on the kitchen scales and by my calculations he'd dropped to 9th centile. I phoned the health visitor or told me to come straight in, weighed him and confirmed. I was immediately referred to a paedatrician and had very regular weigh ins with the health visitor in the mean time. I was told to start him on formula immediately.

He wasn't averse to formula but from this point on feeding him was a nightmare. He just wasn't interested. Breast, bottle... nothing worked. It used to take me hours just to get him to take a couple of ozs. Not ideal with a 20 month toddler running around and DH working away. We slowly, slowly got him to keep putting on weight and not losing any more but it was a constant battle.

However, he wss a happy happy baby! I kept telling the HV that we didn't think there could possibly be anything wrong with him but she insisted I take it all very seriously.

We were told to wean him early. I knew he wasn't ready and it was an epic fail. Eventually weaned him at 24 weeks on baby led weaning and he started guzzling down food.

We finally saw the paediatrician after he'd been on solids for a couple of months and he was up to 25th centile. Conclusion... nothing wrong with him some kids just don't take particulalry well to milk.

He's now 2.5 and still skinny (though weighs a bit). He's growing out of it now but for a while he regularly would eat 3 weetabix for breakfast.

He jist wasn't meant to be 90th centile (husband and I are both average height and slim).

It was months and months of stress for absolutely no reason and this time round I will not let anyone push me into formula because personally I think if breastfeeding is established then bottle feeding makes life infinitely harder (never had a perfect prep).

Sorry, massive post but wanted to give you a similar experinece as with hindsight I really dont think it wss the feeding method that was an issue... he was just destined to be a bit skinnier.