Expecting number 2...not sure what to do

[Abnabsva]

Hi guys,

This post may trigger some people, so please, if you disagree with the things mentioned please don't be nasty.

Just found out we're pregnant with number 2 (4 weeks). We already have a lb who will be 2 years and 2 months at the time of expected babies due date...

We're not sure if we should keep the baby, so can people who have kids of similar age gaps (2 years) let me know their experiences?

Financially we're OK, we rent a house and my partner works.

Everyone is worried we won't cope, especially as we live 3 hours away from family and I'd be alone with a 2 year old and a newborn.

So yeah..advice?

If you want the baby you’ll cope, you honestly will.

Try not to let others’ doubts cloud your opinion of yourself.

I have 3 children and now pregnant with number 4. There are 18 months between my first and second and then 18 months agsin between second and third. There will now be a much bigger 7 year gap between third and fourth.

I was terrified going from 1-2, even though we planned it. People warned me to expect a huge change, and it was a big change, but within a few months baby had just slotted in and we had a new routine.

For me going from no kids to 1 was the most daunting. 1-2 was just a realisation that actually 1 on its own was easy 😂

2-3 was like nothing changed, by then baby just has no choice but to slot into our routine.

If you and your partner want this baby then don’t take to heart anyone else’s comments. Everyone seems to love putting negative spins on things going on in others’ lives!

If you want to then prove them all wrong!

Good luck x

I think if any family member said the same thing to me I’d be livid! It sounds so controlling.

Something is weird here. Either your partner's family are very controlling and undermining, or there's detail we don't have.

Did you struggle a lot with the first baby? Did your partner's family end up helping out with or babysitting that baby? Is your partner happy about this new pregnancy? Is there any possibility that he's been moaning to his family about it, or moaned/told them tall tales when you had your first?

Trouble is that people have very different experiences with motherhood. My mum was always pretty chilled so the thought of motherhood never daunted me. My own mum never doubted that we'd cope and be great parents.

Unlike my in laws. MIL suffered from (undiagnosed back then) PND. She wasn't hugely maternal and struggled. Didn't look after our children much (not that we expected or asked). She totally believed that we couldn't and wouldn't cope. Always seemed surprised that we did.

People put their own experiences onto others. You just have to listen then filter out what you don't feel is relevant.

Do what you and your H think is right for you. And do it with conviction.