MIL obsessed with sex of baby.

[Janxyb]

Hey,
This is a kind of a aibu post, just wanted to see what others thought.
My mil has quite alot of grandkids and they are all boys. She doesn't hide her thoughts about wanting a girl and for the last year (atleast) has nagged us about when we are having another. I hate people asking when you are having children anyway but it's even worse when the reason is because they want a certain sex.
It's very early days for me 4+5 but first time round we did tell our parents at about 5 weeks. This time I don't want to tell mil until atleast after first scan as the constant talk of what the baby will be will drive me mad.
My first pregnancy was a few years ago, we paid for a 16 week scan and after we rang her and told her it was a boy! Her first words were 'are you f*ing kidding me?!' not congratulations or anything like that.
This time we won't be doing a 16 week scan so if they can't see or won't say at the anomaly scan then it will be a surprise.
I wasn't sure if we would ever have another so I really couldn't give a crap what sex the baby is, I'm just happy to have another.
So basically, are we being unreasonable to not tell mil I'm pregnant until as late as possible? Does anyone else have family obsessed with having a certain sex? I'm quite a private person anyway so I'm more than happy to not tell until 14/15 weeks anyway but I would like to tell my mum earlier which I guess is then unfair on the other x

We kept the gender from everyone until birth :) my MIL would obsessively ask us every skype call and try and trip us up, that was quite annoying. You don't have to tell anyone, you could even tell her you don't know yourself!

Mine's the same! We aren't telling her until we know the gender. She'll only go on about it if we do. I'm 17 weeks already so currently in hiding!

We don't see her very often but now the weather is nicer and rules will start to be relaxed we might see her more.
God imagine if it was twins and 1 of each I feel like that would be the worst as she would be purely excited for one of them! I will come back and update this when we know and her reaction, pretty sure now that I want to keep the sex a secret til birth and I will see how we go as to when we tell her I'm actually pregnant! X

It's mostly girls in our family, we're expecting our 5th girl and we have 1 boy (poor kid lol).

I don't think that it's unreasonable for you to keep the news quiet for a while. I do think that it is unfair to tell your family weeks before his though and that could cause a lot of trouble so do think more carefully about that bit.
Trust me, we've been there with our twins. MIL threw her toys out of the pram because my parents knew much earlier than they did, it resulted in a big fall out and them not meeting our twins until they were 4 years old! My parents knew early because I needed their help with looking after 3 older children for all the extra appointments I needed (hubby forces so away a lot), history of miscarriage made me want to keep it quite other than that. We told them all on the day of the dating scan this time so no fall outs.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling your DM/MIL at different times, as long as you can trust DM 100% to keep the info to herself for now. We told MIL at 5 weeks with DC2 and didn’t tell my mum until I’d had a private scan at 8.5 weeks, simply because my DM had been very dismissive when I’d had a miscarriage just before, MIL didn’t know but I knew she’d have been so supportive if she did. I knew there was no way the info would get back to my mum because they live in different counties.

TBH if MIL has 4 boys and all her grandchildren are boys it’s sounding likely that this one will be a boy too so she’ll have to suck it up! Both my mum and MIL have a 50/50 mix of boys and girls for grandchildren so DC2 will tip the scales when we find out what we are having! Neither have commented on hoping I have either sex though.

Oh yes we think it will be a boy aswell. That's why we arent bothering with a 16 week scan this time. I've kept all my son's clothes fully expecting it be another boy. My dh has told her before that if we did have another she should expect a boy aswell. There is no rush to tell my Mum yet either so I think we will just keep it completely quiet until 12 week scan - hopefully we get that far 🤞🤞

My grandmother was like this - I was the last girl (40 years ago) all boys cousins and then all boy great grandchildren until last year so was so delighted 🙈 I don’t get it at all.

And congratulations OP 😁

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Yanbu. And if she asks, "MIL, last time we told you the sex of our baby your response was, frankly, disgusting. This baby will be what it will be. Get on board and leave us be"

This. My ex MIL was the same. All hers were boys, including mine, I couldn't give a stuff. If I was you I'd tell her now it's a boy and get all the shit out of the way then leave it. If it's a girl, well so what? Scans can be wrong can't they?