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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Managing antenatal appointments and other children

18 replies

PerspicaciousGreen · 28/03/2021 20:52

I've recently found out I'm pregnant with #3. We have a 3yo and a 1yo. My husband wasn't working when I was pregnant with #2 so was able to look after #1 when I had my antenatal appointments. This time... well, I don't really know what to do. Has anyone taken young children with them? They're very well behaved and they wouldn't mind being sat in the buggy in the room with me, but I think the midwife probably would and for some of the appointments I certainly would - my 3yo has very sharp hearing and an excellent memory! I wouldn't leave them in reception, though, even if I was allowed. I think they'd be upset by that.

I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be that I have to ask DH to take a half day off for every appointment, but how have other people managed antenatal appointments and already-existing children?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BlowDryRat · 28/03/2021 20:53

I took DS with me to my appointments. It was fine, except once when he asked me very loudly whether another lady in the waiting room was very, very fat or had a baby in her tummy.

Taswama · 28/03/2021 20:54

Yes, you can take your dc with you. Midwives are perfectly used to it.

Toastedsesame · 28/03/2021 20:54

I've been planning to take my 3yo with me to any in-person appointments I have. My booking appointment will be by phone though. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they're usually happy to accommodate well behaved children. Take snacks and distractions and you'll be fine.

RustyCat · 28/03/2021 20:56

Check with your local trust, it might be different because of covid mine currently is no children, no partners to any appointments.

Only time partner is allowed to one is your scans.

shittingthreeeyedraven · 28/03/2021 20:56

I would check first, as mine said no to kids being brought (not that I wanted to tbh) but every area seems to have its own rules
This is COVID related though so might ease off as time goes on. If you’ve only just found out you probably have about 6 weeks or so to your booking app

GreenSlide · 28/03/2021 21:00

It's been tricky navigating ante natal appointments through covid tbh I have to just hope appointments are when DS is at pre school and if not then DH has to stay with him. DH hasn't been able to come to any scans with me because children aren't allowed and I don't feel I can ask family members to care for him (most of them work too anyway) which isn't exactly the dream scenario but thankfully it's been fine so far.

bumbledeedum · 28/03/2021 21:30

My hospital is an absolute no to children attending appointments (not sure if that's covid or all the time for most appointments, but it's always been strictly no children for scans). My midwife does appointments until about 6pm so I can generally book when my partner has finished work and can have our DS. Not 100% sure what I'll do if I have any more hospital appointments as they're obviously less flexible on times. Do you have any family nearby? Even someone that could sit in the car with them for half an hour at the hospital if they're not comfortable with a long stretch of babysitting.

Mother2princess · 28/03/2021 21:41

I've had to make my appointments around my husbands work im now 4 weeks from birth and luckily my husband has taken leave from work for the remainder of my pregnancy
(Unpaid) which isn't ideal but we have 4 under 5 at home so for me it's needed

MeadowHay · 28/03/2021 21:46

My hospital has a 'no children allowed under any circumstances' policy as a result of covid, which has been in place since lockdown number 1 began. I have absolutely no idea what people with no childcare are meant to do to access antenatal appointments especially e.g. single mums. I would check with the hospital what their current policy is prior to you turning up with kids in tow as I know of people being refused access to their appointment in those circumstances (and someone on MN once posted about this awhile ago too). My booking appointment was via telephone though.

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 28/03/2021 21:47

Currently pregnant

Due to covid children are not allowed here and partners are limited too

Also a lot of my appointments have been on the phone not in person

PutOnAHappyFace · 28/03/2021 22:08

Same here, no children allowed at all, they just about let DH in. Tbh a lot of appointments are done over the phone now and if your pregnancy is low risk you will hardly go to any appointments.

Congratulations.

Mamabearwhere · 28/03/2021 22:19

Best to check with your hospital. Mine strictly won’t allow any kids or partners to midwife appointments and for scans partners wait outside until you’re laying on the bed and they get called up. So some are much stricter then others. Although I don’t underhand what you’re expected to do if you have others kids and no childcare.

Chelyanne · 28/03/2021 22:55

A mixture of getting dh to be home (only this time as he's military), my mum having them or doing it while they're at school. In the past I have had the kids with me at midwife appointments as I didn't have childcare but it was only a quick appointment and pre-covid so they were a bit more relaxed.
Children are not allowed in scans these days and you are discouraged from taking them to other appointments too so it is best to have someone look after them.

Sceptre86 · 29/03/2021 00:28

In normal times my midwife appointments discourage children from attending. All my consultant appointments were a definite no even pre covid. When I was having ds my mil would watch dd. Now I have asked for morning appointments where possible so that mine will be at preschool. For my consultant appointments I will go alone so dh will have the kids and more than likely for the 20 week scan too as I have an afternoon appointment and no morning slots are available.

ivfbeenbusy · 29/03/2021 04:36

Can't your husband just take annual leave? It's a 1/2 day here or there?

99% of places aren't allowing kids at the moment

Skymum82 · 29/03/2021 09:26

For me it was before covid but I always took mine

Original poster

PerspicaciousGreen · 29/03/2021 18:27

Thanks for all the replies! It's a different hospital to my first baby, and that hospital were so NO CHILDREN ALLOWED EVER that it quite scared me off even thinking about it! I'll ask at my booking appointment what their policy is and if it's allowed, work out a balance of taking them vs DH taking time off depending on the appointment. I had to have several extra appointments in both pregnancies so the time really can add up!

OP posts:

Muststopeating · 29/03/2021 21:29

This really frustrates me. My DH works away and I have two kids. The midwives have all been explicit thay the kids can't come (also well behaved, also would sit in the buggy, also have only been exposed to the same risks I have which are absolutely minimal). Clinics run on certain days, both are my days off work so can't even time it when i already have childcare.

Luckily I do have family that can help... but in lockdown 1 that would have been illegal!

So the upshot of it is, no childcare, no antenatal care! Which is outrageous. Some of the decisions made through this pandemic are just ridiculous! (Sorry, this ones a trigger for me).

Don't have any good advice, perhaps you could suggest that they do appointments over the phone and physical checks/blood tests/vaccines in the car park with the kids in the car? I had to consider that once, but found a solution last minute. Then your partner can just take time off to look after the kids for scans.

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