Two babies close in age

[MrsPotts85]

Hi all, I dont even know if I'm writing this in the right place, I'm in a bit of shock right now. Ive just found out that im pregnant with 2nd, due dec 2021. DS is only 8 months old, there will be 16.5 months difference. I'm very scared as although i did want another i wanted a 3 or 4 year age gap, ie when ds was in school or nursery. I'm still on maternity leave from him until August and am in talks now about my returning hours. I feel sick with shock and I'm scared, i feel like im just starting to get my life back a bit, now ds is sleeping through and the thought of going back to newborn stage so soon and with such a small gap terrifies me.

I'm married and husband at work right now but I'm so scared to tell him. Hes a hard worker but honestly is not the most hands on dad and emotionally he really struggled when our son was born for the first few months. Hes much happier now DS is older but i dont know how he will react to this news. I'm in total shock.

Can anyone offer advice or reassurance re the close age gap?

Thanks so much x

You'll have to get your head around it then tell your husband and go from there. If you want more then you'll make it work, may not feel like the ideal time but I don't think there ever really is an ideal.

Our 2nd and 3rd have a 16.5mth gap.
It was not particularly hard to adjust tbh, my husband is military and I became a sahm once my maternity pay ended. It can be tough when you are doing it with little to no help but it's doable. We had twins unplanned (copper coil fail) before our 3rd was 3 too, that was a huge shock but again we made it work. Expecting number 6 now, a crazy household but what's another when you have so many lol.

There is a 16 month gap between my DDs. It was very tough as DH died before DD2’s first birthday.
However, I raised them alone while working full time, and they are now in their thirties.
There were some advantages to having them that close - it got all the nappies/teething/toilet training etc out of the way in one fell swoop, and they happily played together. Plus it was easy to find day trips and activities they would both enjoy- that would be much harder with, say, a toddler and a ten year old.
You are in for a tough two years, but thereafter things get a lot easier.

I’ve just got a bfp.. I’ll have a 18 mo and a 5yo.. I am freaking out (this ones a surprise baby) 😥

DC 1&2 are 14 months apart, then three year gap and DC 3&4 are 19 months apart.

They are a happy tribe who love each other very much. It's nice, they pair up easily and share lots of things. I recommend it!

(DH is very hands on though... I would have really struggled without his help! He did every bath time before bed and breakfast before he went to work.)

It will be hard work initially but so much better overall to have a small age gap in my opinion. It's so much easier to organise days out and activities when they're close in age. Good luck!

I have 17m between my 2nd and 3rd (would have been 16.5 but mine are always overdue) I also had a 10yo. I freaked out and my husband was way more relaxed about it. He had to up his game with DC2 though.

Things that helped.

A routine (not my strong point!) But school runs, toddler group, lunch, nap, school run, tea, bed.

A double buggy. Some prefer slinging it but I prefer having some time with No one touching me as they usually slept with me. I used to walk them after lunch and sometimes got the miracle double nap.

Low standards, big washing machine.

They are 11 and nearly 10 now, still sleep in the same bed more often than not, and really close. I would not have done it any other way.

Good luck :)

@BurningBenches low standards, big washing machine 😂😂

I'm 14w with an 8m/o so will be finding out soon enough too.

My first 2 are 13 months apart and our third was born when they were 2 and 1. You will be fine. Get a good double pram - that helps massively

Agree with the big washing machine too - we have a 12kg and 2 tumble dryers!

My 2 are 17 months apart and I love it, it was bloody hard work when they were younger but it was what we wanted. My sister and I are less than a year apart!

My middle son was just 8 months when I found out I was pregnant. They are now 3.5 and just 2 and when I look back I think omg how did we do it. It was hard and is only JUST getting easier now... but they clearly love each other and are starting to play together more too.
Actually it's perfect because as previous posters have said - the activities are much easier to do / find because they can do the same thing.
I have a nearly 13 year old too and that's a bit harder because there are only so many trips to soft play he will tolerate (but volunteers to go in with his brothers!) However the one place that suits them all finally is the trampoline park

I have this age gap between my first and second, except the second was twins so I had 3 under 2.

It'll be mental for a bit but you will survive and then you'll be glad they are so close in age. I have twins, I know what I'm talking about 🤣

@MommyinTraining I’ve reported your posts. Bore off.

@MommyinTraining seriously? On a site named Mumsnet!

Report. Don’t feed.

Currently pregnant with exactly 12 months between them. Same due date. Initial panic but now very used to the idea and excited. 4th pregnancy x

@Chelyanne I love the end of your first comment! Haha
I have a boy who's 25 month and 4 month old twins. My other half is 11 years older than me and will be 41 in may and is not interested in anymore, We now have three together and he has a son from a previous relationship (now 15 and lives in USA with his mum) and I'd love one more since having the twins my argument is the same what's one more? Although I've just given away loads of newborn clothes to a lady in dire need we already have everything soooo? Like you say what's one more 😂

I have a 16 month gap between my first two DC. It's fine, tough at first but great once you get into a routine. No jealousy and they grow up close. Mine are grown up now and still best friends.

Interesting thread, would some of you mind sharing how you juggled your career/studies with family life? I'm toying with the idea of having maybe 18/20 months gap between my 2nd and next the baby. My first is a teenager so that'll be new territory for me!