Mental health worsening

[MrsSugar]

I’ve just recently found out I am pregnant (5 weeks) i planned this pregnancy and was anxious I wouldn’t be able to conceive. Now I am pregnant I feel my mental health has deteriorated. I currently take antidepressants and have suffered depression/anxiety and OCD almost all my life! I do not want to terminate but all I can think is oh fuck what have I done ? How am I going to cope ? Is my life going to be a disaster now ? Will I have nice times again ? I go from being quite settled but anxious in my mind to just crying and crying. I have my booking in appointment and first scan booked. My husband is very supportive. I just wondered if anyone has any advice ?

You sound really similar to me.

I had tried for 3 years to fall pregnant and when I got that positive in August I think I was in complete shock. I even told my partner that I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep it(during a crying fit)
I’m 34 weeks now and even though she isn’t here yet I honestly can’t imagine life without her.

OP don’t beat yourself up, it’s a complete shock to the system and its daunting to know your life will never be the same. But try and look at that as a positive, you are going to have this little baby that you will never imagine life without.

If it does get too bad, try some CBT courses or even call the midwives and explain how you are feeling. They maybe be able to recommend speaking to someone.

Just take some time out and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’ll be fine

Thank you for your reply. It’s nice to know that there are others who feel/felt the same. I expected to be absolutely bursting with joy when I got my first proper bold positive test but I just didn’t really feel anything much.

I’ve spoken briefly with my GP who is checking with the perinatal mental health team about staying on my antidepressant. I have a booking in appointment at beginning of may where I can hopefully talk to a midwife (hopefully an understanding one)

@MrsSugar I was in a similar position to you, we weren't trying but just being relaxed seeing what happened. I knew I was pregnant before I even took the test. I held off a week because I just couldn't face seeing the result. I'm 9 weeks now and feel a lot more positive, but still have days where OCD takes over. I also haven't told family or friends yet because if I'm honest I can't deal with everyone's over the top excitement. If you have a look online you'll find so many similar stories of women not being excited when they found out, this brought me a lot of comfort to know I wasn't they only one experiencing those feelings. Fingers crossed you get an understanding midwife (I'm sure you will). There are so many helpful resources online too and a great community on Instagram of OCD/anxiety advocates. Remember this will pass and things will get better.

Unlike you I don’t normally struggle with my mental health, but during this pregnancy I have felt really low at times. I mentioned it to my midwife at my last appointment and she reeled off a list of different support options she could make available to me. Midwives take pregnant women’s mental health really seriously, so don’t hesitate to mention it at your booking appt, they will really want to help. I completely understand your fears. This is our second baby and wasn’t planned (although we did know we wanted another at some point, just not yet) and I have felt really helpless about it at times so remember you are not alone. Take whatever support you can get, and you will work this out and be a wonderful mum.

Request a mental health midwife when you have your booking app. They should be able to help you through the pregnancy and birth better than a general midwife.