Positive labour and birth resources?

[charcb]

Hi everyone!

As most women I'm a first time mum and now becoming more terrified of labour and birth. There have been some traumatic stories in people I know (some resulting in death of mum and baby and some in baby having a life changing illness) that it's hard not to think about that. I thought initially I'd do a c section because of this but I've reconsidered and I think I'll do a vaginal delivery with epidural if I get to choose.

I'm trying to find some positive birth resources to try and reframe my mindset with regards to labour. Something that speaks about positive past experiences, wisdom for coping, etc. For example someone told me the other day how every time they had a contraction they thought "that one is gone" and that they were that much closer to meeting their baby and it helped them get through the pain.

Any ideas?

Hello there,
Have you looked into Hypno birthing?
It's a form of mindfulness and meditation, a sort of self help therapy that's great for anxious people, male birth partners included. it helps to remind us that giving birth is all natural and every female species does it. It's a nice way of connecting with our bodies to remind us how powerful and strong we are. All breathing techniques are great pre and during labour. There are some great books online to help you understand more too

Positive birth company do a (moderately priced) online course. YouTube has positive birth stories as well.

In my friendship group I was surrounded by people who had difficult experiences (don't worry, this was mostly due to pre-existing conditions rather than luck of the draw) but I was still apprehensive as a result... however I went on to have a really positive water birth using hypnobirthing techniques and I'm hoping to repeat the experience with my second baby (now pregnant again).

I view childbirth a bit like running... it's hard, but worth it once you've got to the end of the race.

I remember a midwife telling me (when pregnant with my second) that giving birth would be easier if I removed fear as much as possible and having done hypnobirthing I'd agree with that. I'd really recommend doing a course. It's science based, NHS recommended and you can use the techniques in any situation (from pool birth to C section).

And remember... the more eventful a birth story is, the better it is to tell. Nobody bothers to repeat or remember the details of the boring "got to the hospital, gave birth, all fine, went home" stories.

I'd also recommend hypnobirthing. I did a Katherine Hargreaves course but you could buy a book and some guided meditation tracks and do it yourself. The key is to stay as relaxed and calm as possible throughout your pregnancy and labour.

Also people seem to be obsessed with sharing horror stories with pregnant women. If they make you anxious try to politely say that you're trying to stay as positive as possible and basically 'please don't tell me'.

Hello and congratulations,

I have literally just given birth to baby number 5. I have been through labour and given birth vaginally every time. Each one has been different, some harder than others also. But God is great and he got me through it. The last one was the shortest and was the toughest but I got through all of mine only on gas and air and pethidine. I also had a water birth with my 3rd and I highly recommend it. It really helped me feel light in the water and I coped better with my contractions.
I am hoping to have a 6th child and then have a water birth then also. I just need to get my bmi down a bit to do this.

Just trust your body and go with the flow. Feel free to accept any pain relief that is offered. And remember what you said above, every contraction is a step closer.

Wish you all the best with your new baby

I would recommend reading The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. Its really interesting and has made me feel confident for labour. It's really not all blood, gore and screaming like you see on TV.

I have mixed feelings about The Positive Birth book - I completely think that positivity is helpful, and agree with what she says about a calm, quiet, dimly lit environment being best as you're very vulnerable when birthing. Plus I like how she emphasises that you have a choice with any intervention, even if you feel like you don't. But a lot of interventions she gives a very one-sided view of, recommending either explicitly or implicitly against all kinds of interventions without really giving the statistics or both sides of the story.

Which hypnobirthing courses do people recommend, and when did you start them? I'm 22 weeks now so need to start thinking about this at some point...

@notalwaysalondoner We found that 34 weeks was a good place to start introducing Hypnobirthing techniques but it all depends on your circumstances.

Thanks ladies for all the comments and tips! Some great ideas. I'll try hypnobirthing to calm myself down / reframe and add your reading resources in - hope they make a difference! Thanks a lot.

Juju Sundin’s birth skills or Pam England’s Birthing from Within (if you can live with a bit of hippiness)

Birth skills is just super practical and realistic. Labour hurts, here’s ways to deal with it.

Birthing from Within is similar with a bit more hippiness and birth art, which you can skip but I found a couple of the analogies really helpful
Especially ‘labour is hard, it hurts but you can do it’ Also realistic about epidurals.

I second 'the positive birth book' by milli Hill and also recommend 'your baby, your birth' by Hollie de Cruz. Good luck!

Positive birth company. This was an absolute game changer for me for my second birth. My first was traumatic and I absolutely believe Hypnobirthing made it a positive experience second time round

@TonkinLenkicks @physicskate

which course did you do with positive birth company? I think they have their 39 pound one available - is that the one that covers hypnobirthing?

Hi @charcb, I was the same as you a few weeks ago. I’m halfway through The Bump to Baby Chapter online course and it’s totally changed my way of thinking. It’s hypnobirthing basically but it’s run by a really down to earth midwife and I chose it because it’s much more about being informed and understanding the science. I was scared off some of the other hypnobirthing as I don’t buy in to avoiding all interventions and ‘if I’m a good enough mother I won’t need pain relief’ - that’s bs in my opinion. But Bump to Baby teaches you the techniques whilst explaining why and when intervention is safe and right for you. Whichever path you choose, I do think hypnobirthing has totally changed my approach to labour - but I’ve never actually pushed a baby out so it may all be change when I’m in the delivery room!!!

I’m 35 weeks tomorrow and I’ve found the Positive Birth Company digital hypnobirthing pack (the £39 one) so so helpful. It teaches the standard breathing techniques and tips for relaxing etc but I particularly found the sciencey bits helpful to actually understand how the muscles work during labour and the impact adrenaline can have on the process.
I also bought the book version ‘Hypnobirthing: Practical ways to make your birth better’ but I’m not sure I would recommend that over the online course. Depends how you learn best but I’ve found it quite heavy to get through and not as enjoyable as the videos. I haven’t finished reading it though so might change my mind by the time I get to the end of the book.

When you pay for the PBC course you get a code to join the Facebook page ‘Positive Birth Community’ where people are encouraged to share their positive birth stories. This has honestly been so helpful to me. Even if someone hasn’t had a traditionally easy birth it really helps you think of the positives in each scenario. There’s a weekly questions thread where you can ask questions too. Would definitely recommend.

Haven't RTFT but what I would say is that it is important to prepare for all options, because then you will be able to make each option the best it can be. E.g. all going swimmingly? Water birth with no pain relief. Needing a c section? Dimmed lights and your choice of music. Needing a crash c section? What would make that situation feel more controlled for you, partner to stay with you or the baby etc.
In all likelihood, birth will go well for you. But try to have more than one plan - even if they're not your Plan A - because otherwise you feel disappointed and like you failed.
Also, I had a disastrous, traumatic labour, and I still made it through, I'm still okay, and my little girl is the light of my world. I would have another baby, despite what happened. It wasn't nice, but it was SO worth it.

Do the positive birth company's hypnobirthing digital pack. It's absolutely brilliant. You also get access to the Facebook group which is specifically just loads of people posting their positive birth stories. I didn't find the positive birth book anywhere near as helpful, although it does have an excellent birth preferences picture template. It was a game changer for my 3rd birth, it was such a brilliant experience.

Thanks a lot! I'm now leaning towards a course simply because I have so many pregnancy and baby books on my bedside table I'm unsure I'll get through them all with only 3 months to go! Lol

I'm between the bump to baby one @Penny2020 mentioned and the positive birth company which many of you recommended. They look similarly priced and I assume the content is quite similar - would there be any key differences between both of those?

@charcb I actually had access to both! They are very very similar and I think you’ll be happy with either. Personally I preferred B2BC as found Beth the midwife more relaxed, relatable. PBC is definitely more slick production wise, also got the science bit but not led by a midwife.
Very little difference between them in my experience. I know that doesn’t help, other than whichever you choose I think it’ll help you.
Best of luck - and wishing you a very very positive delivery, in whatever form it takes!

Thanks so much @Penny2020 - always useful to hear the thoughts of someone having accessed both. Does b2bc offer a trial like positive birth does? If so I may try some videos of both and take a pick.

Not sure I’m afraid, I just went for the full access straight away. There’s a FB page with lots of posts and videos so you could see Beth’s style compared to PBC so you can see which you’d prefer maybe

Oh amazing! Great idea.