Neely pregnant

[l16bxt]

Hello guys so I am newly pregnant.
Me and my partner had a miscarriage 13 months ago so we are really exited and happy. But I can't seem to get rid of this feeling where something will go wrong.
My partner said he doesn't want to be overly exited either until the 12week scan. He means well and like I said he's totally over the moon as we was going to go for IVF in the next few months. Does anyone have any tips or suggest how to feel more positive. This is such a blessing and I want to tell everybody but I just want to know my baby will be ok. Sorry for going on . Thank you

@l16bxt don't ever apologise for saying how you feel.

I don't have much by the way of staying 'positive'; we're in a similar boat. I'm 40 so we don't want to get too excited/ tell anyone until we have had tests (NIPT first) - I get the difficulty you're having being happy rather than worried right now.

Not sure about you but I find it's harder in a lockdown when there's not much to do to occupy your mind so I try to keep as busy as possible; work/ reading/ researching (for my course) you could buy an online course for something you've always wanted to do... anything to keep busy and not marinade in worry.
Also, me and my husband go for walks, 3-4 times a week and we talk about how we feel about it all and check in with each other. Not every time, but if we need/ want to, usually we talk about rubbish - but It's helped a lot.

It seems - to me at least - is that when pregnancy is abstract; on TV/ happening for someone else, it seems so happy; gender reveals and babygro shopping...but when it's you and it's real and you have a reason to worry (age, loss, genetics, etc.) you're living one day-to-day, scan-to-scan. But I just try to keep perspective, keep busy and keep talking.

You're not alone xx

Hi OP,

I fully understand how you're feeling and wrote a similar post to you in January, pregnancy after loss is such a worrying and anxious time and ill be honest, I found it really hard!

We had a scan at 7 weeks which was reassuring and then actually had a further 3 in the first trimester (including two NHS ones) as I was just a ball of anxiety and it was the only thing that calmed me down. I bought a paint by numbers which I did for a few weeks but once the sickness set in I stopped doing it which was annoying but it did help! Also practice some mindfulness if you can and like @ILoveBountys said, talk to your partner about how you're feeling and be open and comforting with each other, my husband was the same and refused to get excited until we had the 12 week scan.

Ultimately just try and think positive, the odds are in your favour of this one sticking and working out for you so try and hold on to that, there's a miscarriage reassurer website which gives you the odds of loss at each stage and I found it comforting watching it reduce each day!

I'm rooting for you and I hope its a positive experience this time for you, you've got this xx

@ILoveBountys @unicornpower
Omg guys thank you so much... reading both your thoughts makes me feel like I'm it alone. I didn't expect such a positive response. I do a lot of baking as part of my hobby did to lockdown:) so that keeps me busy. And me and my partner are going on a bike ride next week so that should keep my mind busy. I'm ringing the midwife today I'm exited but nervous, I'm going to explain how anxious I feel and see if there is an early scan I can have of not I'll go private. Anything to keep my mind occupied. Thanks again ladies xx

Hi! Sorry you're feeling this way! I don't have any suggestions because I was exactly the same. After my first miscarriage and even 3 pregnancies later, I'm still exactly the same.
Fingers crossed for you ❤️

@l16bxt no worries; anytime you want to unload your feelings here do it! Baking is a great hobby! Dangerous but great and the bike ride sounds perfect; getting out in the fresh air has made all the difference for me - I hope it helps you too :)

Definitely speak with your midwife about your anxiety and the MC if she doesn't already know; and have a look on here for threads about other people due the same month as you (November?) sometimes they make Facebook pages too and it's great; problems shared are problems halved xx