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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby Showers

41 replies

Chelyanne · 14/03/2021 23:52

Are you bothered for one or not?

I didn't have them with our older 5 so not at all bothered for one this time, tbh I find it a bit weird to be made a fuss of when pregnant. No bugger seems that bothered about me normally.

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ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 15/03/2021 00:13

I wasn't bothered by one.
We ended up going for a meal with family and I got a couple of outfits. I much preferred this than an actual baby shower.

Midlifephoenix · 15/03/2021 00:14

Nope it's silly and really seems like a party to get gifts. Same with bridal showers.

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/03/2021 00:21

I never wanted one as was quite vocal about disliking them but my amazing work friends threw me a surprise one and it was amazing. It came at a low time for me as I had just lost my MIL and my beloved cat was dying.

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/03/2021 00:21

I wouldn’t have organised one for myself though!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/03/2021 00:34

I love baby showers, personally. I think celebrating the arrival of a baby is lovely! It's like any party, wedding, etc, an invite is not a summons. If you don't want to participate don't go.

FeistySheep · 15/03/2021 09:14

I told my family and close friends I would eat them alive if they even thought about organising one! They all responded with 'eww no, they're so grabby' which was a relief. I knew I'd chosen my friends well!!

I think it's fine if you have two or three close friends/sister/mum who want to throw you a mini party and give you a gift. That's just a nice thing to do, and is not a 'baby shower'. But what is not okay is to invite lots of other less-close friends who then feel pressure to turn up and buy expensive things. They may also be going through difficult times ttc, or can't have their own children, or are just really struggling for money.

Let people who want to buy gifts do so, in their own time. And if you want to have a nice time with friends, just go out for a fun dinner with them - it does not have to be all about one person! Keep the gifts and the party separate and you have the best of both worlds.

Littlelamby878 · 15/03/2021 09:16

My friend's organised me a surprise one on zoom mid first lockdown. It was awful and I know they meant well but after an hour on zoom everyone was itching to leave which made me feel even worse. I don't ever want one again.

FeistySheep · 15/03/2021 09:16

I see what Aquamarine is saying, but it is actually very difficult to just 'not go'. It comes across as really rude and makes you look mean. You'd have to make up an excuse as to why you couldn't make it. As the baby-shower-haver, do you want to force your friends to lie to you?

I realise this chat is lighthearted, sorry! I just really hate imported American me-me-me fests!

BlondePotter · 15/03/2021 09:46

Nope, a horrible American tradition! My friends know my views on them so I won't be having one ☺️ I really don't like the idea of receiving gifts before the baby is born, but there are a couple of ladies in the family who had stillbirths.
I'm all for celebrating when baby is here safely and I'm recovered - then I can join in with the prosecco!

RunnerGirl123 · 15/03/2021 09:59

They're not for me. I've been to a few and they were lovely despite me struggling with infertility at the time. I think it's a little strange to celebrate baby before they arrive - sounds cynical but as this is my fourth pregnancy and hopefully first living baby, I am very realistic about risks all throughout pregnancy.

I have seen a newer trend of meeting up with friends for brunch with baby after their arrival and celebrating then, when you can have a glass of fizz too. This sounds more up my street - but I'd also state that gifts are not expected, it would be more for the social side of things for me.

physicskate · 15/03/2021 10:00

Even in America, it's mostly for first babies as there's a recognition that you need a lot of kit and it's a show of support (of sorts).

But you wouldn't have one after the first (unless there is a big change in circumstances) as you already have lots of baby crap that you need.

Plus lockdown??

PippityChippity · 15/03/2021 10:01

I will tell my family and friends that they are under no circumstances to organise a baby shower. I despise attention given to me on that kind of level and can think of nothing worse. I think it’s really crafty way of getting gifts out of people too which I don’t like the principle of either. I’ve attended a number of them and some have been okay but I’ve felt a number of them have been about “Enforced fun” which is also hate. I sound like a cheerful one!

Shmithecat2 · 15/03/2021 10:02

Not a fan of attending them, and made it clear to my best friend that I didn't want one when I was pregnant. I do not see the appeal.

MaMaD1990 · 15/03/2021 10:04

Oh I love a baby shower! I had one, didn't expect one but my friends wanted to organise it for me. The presents I couldn't care less about but the games and spending time with all my friends together was really nice, especially seeing as after I gave birth I didn't see them all together for a verrrrry long time.

altlife · 15/03/2021 10:06

Not a fan at all. SIL tried to force one on me with DS - I put a stop to it.

I've told DH this time under no circumstances is there to be a baby shower. I'd much prefer a meal with a few people that mean something to me instead of having to endure a few hours with people I can't stand to be around

Luckyelephant1 · 15/03/2021 10:12

I like the idea of getting together with friends before baby comes, but for a brunch or a meal or something not a horribly tacky shower. I might do a little outdoor gathering in June as I'm due in July, it's more because I haven't seen people in so long due to the pandemic!

Don't even get me started on the awful baby shower games like 'smell the nappy' or whatever it is, where you pass around nappies with different brown stuff smeared on them like Nutella, peanut butter etc and have to guess what each one is. It's awful.

Buttercupcup · 15/03/2021 10:19

My dad summed them up like this-it’s like getting to the cup final and celebrating a win before you’ve played the match.

PrimeraVez · 15/03/2021 10:20

I'm normally against anything cheesy like this but I live overseas away from family so baby showers in my group of friends here are a really nice way to show your support and share the excitement.

We normally just do a nice lunch either at someone's house or in a restaurant. There's food, a cake, a few balloons on the mum-to-be's chair, maybe a silly game but nothing too wild, and everyone either brings a small gift or chips in for a shared larger gift.

I always really enjoy them! Am pregnant now with DC3 and would be disappointed if my friends didn't organise some kind of get together for me!

Rosieposy89 · 15/03/2021 10:24

I absolutely do not want one. I feel a bit weird about throwing a party for a baby that hasn't been born yet. Its like counting your chickens before they're hatched. I also feel they're a bit grabby as well. I'm due in September and by the time we unlock I'll be in third trimester. I'll not be mixing with people as I haven't been vaccinated and my priority is keeping baby and me safe.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 15/03/2021 10:38

I’m pregnant but no way am I having one. Having a baby is really special to me and my husband then my close family and very close friends. Besides that, I’m under no illusions that reproducing is all that special. showers and hens etc and making a song and dance about things is really just not my style at all.

A friend had one and I was honest about not attending. I said I hope she had a lovely time but it’s not my thing, and I look forward to meeting the baby and buying a lovely gift when it’s born. And I’m very glad I didn’t give up my Saturday for it. It was all pink cupcakes and confetti balloons and piles of presents and a ‘guess the name’ draw. No thank you.

SunnySideUp2020 · 15/03/2021 10:59

I find them cringe. But i also find gender reveal parties cringe. And hen parties, etc... you get the idea.

I think it's weird to celebrate baby before it's actually here. And kinda forces people to buy presents. Also being pregnant isn't sometjing that made me feel special. It's a magical awesome thing i share with my partner, not my friends 😅

Defo not for me. But would love a gathering with close families/friends around a good meal after birth if covid allows ofc... as a way to celebrate baby's arrival!

mhood11 · 15/03/2021 11:05

I absolutely loved mine and will hopefully be having another this time.
Having all my friends and family together for a fun few hours playing games and sharing baby predictions was lovely, a lot of them had never been to one before and said they loved every minute and thanked me a lot for inviting them.
It's not for everyone but I personally couldn't find a reason not to.

otterbaby · 15/03/2021 11:20

My friend threw one for me (first baby). It was 6 or 7 of us having lunch outside at a restaurant. There was a small cake and a few decorations (baby photos of me & my husband, some flowers) no games or anything weird. It was lovely to see everyone all together and celebrate my pregnancy a bit as I had a second trimester loss prior to that. I think there's definitely some that are over the top, but the idea is lovely!

RosemarysCat · 15/03/2021 11:26

I hate them, I think they're extremely cringey.

But I slap on a smile and go along for very close friends.

Warrickdaviesasplates · 15/03/2021 11:35

I think it would be considered bad form to have one for your 6th child.

I don't like them anyway, a couple of my friends have done a get together on the first day of Mat leave where we go for cake and coffee/ Prosecco or something. But really I think the party should be for after the baby is born.

I can understand them in the context of the u.s where you get very little Mat leave and you have to pay to get medical treatment. It makes sense to have a get together before the baby is born as you get so little time after, the presents make sense as giving birth is a costly process, and you'd only have it for your first as you're expected to reuse things for future baby's.

In England the tradition is to give gifts after the baby arrives so I always feel that baby showers are just trying to double up on presents. Maybe host a get together, afternoon tea/ cake/ wine when you have the baby so people can come with presents and see the baby and wish you well.

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