Pregnancy hormones or am I right to be annoyed?

[snowyfairy]

I am a teacher in a primary school. 3 weeks ago, I told my head and deputy head that I’m pregnant. They congratulated me but then the conversation turned straight to ‘well maybe we could offer one the students a 1 year contact for their NQT year etc’. I understand this is a conversation that needs to happen but it just seemed a bit weird to have it right there and then in front of me? There’s no urgency to sort something as I’m not due until October - I decided to tell them extra early due to Covid and being clinically vulnerable so I could get the right risk assessments in place sooner rather than later.

Then, bearing in mind that all the children returned this week so things have been pretty stressful anyway, neither of them have checked once if I’m okay. I’m not expecting a fuss or anything but just a ‘everything okay Mrs S? Do you need anything?’ would go a long way.

I just feel like an inconvenience to them already.

I’d be a bit put out with that conversation (also a teacher) as that could be done when I’m not there sharing my news, but I’m also the sort of person that would want a say in who covers me and my classes!

I wouldn’t be upset by no one checking in on me in the classroom now we are back, things are manic for everyone. I don’t envy SLT atm. They trust that I will say something if I’m not okay. Equally I’m sure if I bump into them in the corridor they would ask, but I’m avoiding corridors(!)

Just my personal thoughts, OP

I think it's yours hormones sorry! Possibly one of the most crazy and stressful weeks of the year - your pregnancy isn't going to be important to them at the moment? It seems like pretty much every teacher I know is pregnant at the moment so I imagine headteachers are stressed about maternity leave cover so nothing wrong with planning in advance

Also think a big part of it is hormones!
😬

At the end of the day it's a workplace and they have to have that conversation about who will take over and weigh in the options sooner rather than later in case you cannot be there for obvious reasons even before mat leave. I wouldn't mind being included in it. At least i know what to expect/can give my opinion. But could be perceived as insensitive i guess.

As for asking how you are feeling this week... i am not a teacher but at my work you say you're pregnant and life goes on. Especially when it's so early on... as in you don't have a big belly to trigger some small talks about it. And as pp said it's kinda stressful for them right now so i am sure they just dont think about it.

I personally wouldn't take offence.

Congratulations!

You're definitely being a bit over sensitive. You told them you're pregnant because that affects your ability to work, they congratulated you, then continued the conversation about filling your space when you're gone.

If anything, it's a good that you're being included in conversations about your cover as you can help play a part in deciding who takes over, which I'm sure is something you care about as you'll feel a responsibility towards your children.

When I told my boss I turned it to plans for when I was away because I wanted to make sure that a) they knew I was coming back relatively quickly (doing shared parental leave) and b) my team would be supported in the interim.

And although you're not due until October it does take a while to sort these things out - I would've thought that they'd be interviewing in the summer term for something like that?

I'd say it's probably hormones and slightly different priorities.

Thank you everyone. I did think I was maybe being a bit oversensitive... my DH said the same. I know the SLT will be under a lot of stress and life goes on etc. I think just with the exhaustion and anxiety I’m feeling at the minute I just got my myself wound up waiting for them to check I was actually okay.

In my experience employers/managers don’t really check in to see how you’re doing - it’s just expected you’ll say if you’re not doing well and no news is good news! Congratulations on your pregnancy.