What should I do? Pregnancy Reveal

Garman · 13/03/2021 09:22

Have you had an early scan? I personally would wait as having to tell my mum I had a missed miscarriage after seeing her excitement when we told her I was pregnant after a scan at 7 weeks showed a heartbeat I would not wish that on you or your mother. She had lost her parent not long before and it was such a bit of positivity for her, only for us to have to take it back 3 weeks later.

LBTM · 13/03/2021 09:23

Sorry for your loss. I told my mother almost as soon as I found out. I told anyone who I would have wanted support from if I had had an early miscarriage. There's no "rule" not to tell whoever you want to!

ChiefBabySniffer · 13/03/2021 09:25

I've always told people within a week of finding out. Miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed of and the current narrative around it suggests that women have failed and should keep it secret. Personally, I couldn't have gotten through the miscarriages without family sort and trying to keep such sad news in and fob opener off with "in fine" would have been impossible.

mayihavesomecakeplease · 13/03/2021 09:25

I told my family on Christmas day even though it was super early, as I felt after a crap year everyone needed some cheerful news. It was really lovely and appreciated. I made sure to give caveats that it was early and not to start knitting just yet!

Fireplacedreamer · 13/03/2021 09:33

I will be 5 weeks 6 days tomorrow and will be telling my mum. If it does end in miscarriage I will need her support. The hardest bit is not telling my almost 4 year old which I am trying to hold off until 12 weeks. Good luck with whatever you decide 😊

CLeighannHxo · 13/03/2021 11:12

I would tell her! What a wonderful mother's day present!
We told our parents the day after getting my BFP and waited to tell others until we had the 12 week scan.
Congratulations by the way 😃

Dollywilde · 13/03/2021 11:15

We told our parents at Xmas (2019 so pre Covid) partly to explain me not drinking but also as we thought it would be a lovely present I was 7 weeks at that point. We would have told them anyway if we’d had a miscarriage though. Congratulations!

IloveHaroldBishop · 13/03/2021 11:25

I would definitely tell her! It’s a really exciting time and should be celebrated with those you love.
I told my close family last year at 9 weeks. I did later miscarry but I’m so so so glad we told them. We all celebrated the happy news and I’ll never ever forget their happiness and love for us. It might be the only time we are pregnant so we just toon it one day at a time and did what we wanted!

PowPurry · 13/03/2021 11:30

Aww OP your post gave me goosebumps. How wonderful. Definitely tell her and let us know her reaction!

Danxoie · 13/03/2021 11:32

I told my mum pretty much straight away at 5 weeks as I know her support would help me if anything was to happen. We also told my partners mum on New Year's Day which is the memorial of her mum. She said it was the best news to hear on such a sad day for her. ❤️ I was 6 weeks by then and had a private scan booked for 8 weeks😊

Nat4392 · 13/03/2021 13:16

I would tell her. Telling your mum isn’t like you’re announcing it to everyone, plus I’m sure she would be dreading tomorrow and I imagine your news would really help take her mind off losing her own mum and lift her spirits. I told my mum the same day I found out so only 4 weeks. We’re very close and I tell her everything, it’s been great being able to share the journey with her since the beginning.

zaraa123 · 13/03/2021 13:37

Congratulations OP!

The general rule of thumb that I’ve gone by (I’m 8+1 weeks) is that I haven’t told anybody that I wouldn’t be comfortable also telling that something bad has happened. Your mum sounds like she would be an excellent support should your pregnancy go either way. It’s such an exciting time and after the year everybody has had, and the sadness of losing your grandma, this excellent news sounds like what you both need, and what better day than mother’s day! Enjoy it OP, it’s such a special time❤️

Alakasam · 13/03/2021 13:55

I was 10 weeks with DC1 when I told my mum on Mother's day - 3 years ago, which seems an age. Hadn't had a scan, but we gave her a wrapped photo in a frame (won't say exactly what as could be outing) that we had made representing the two of us with a smaller third person. Took her a few moments to really get it, although my dad started tearing up immediately haha. Could always buy her her favourite alcoholic beverage (if she has one) and tell her to have one for you!! Or just write the card "from the three of us" and wait for her to twig.

Original poster

J300 · 13/03/2021 16:32

Wow thank you so much everyone for all the replies. I didn’t expect to get so much feedback. All is appreciated and I have decided I am going to tell her tomorrow. ❤️

OP posts:

DoWhatYouWantTo · 13/03/2021 16:54

@J300

So my lovely mum lost her mum to covid just after Christmas. I am pregnant now and I’m around 6weeks. I haven’t been to the midwife yet as I am waiting for an appointment still. I know that Mother’s Day is going to be a super tough day for my mum this year so I wanted to share my joy with her that she will be a grandmother at the end of the year. I know I’m not 12 weeks yet but we are so so close and it’s been so difficult not even telling her that we were ttc. So it really will be a huge surprise and shock that we are. She’s wanted nothing more than to have a grandchild for many years now. What should I do? All advice appreciated.

Your mum will be thrilled! It will be the boost she needs in this sad time.

Good luck with your baby x

TheDaydreamBelievers · 13/03/2021 23:28

I lost a baby at 11 weeks in november. I dont regret telling the people I told before then. I needed their support and it was nice to have the 8 weeks of happiness before the 12 week scan

Babyjune21 · 14/03/2021 06:43

I told my mum minutes after taken my test , sadly she passed away while I was 32 weeks pregnant , I wouldn’t wish that hurt on anyone share this news with your mum never leave anything unsaid let her know how much you love her and that’s why your telling her ! Big hugs x

MsSquiz · 14/03/2021 06:48

We told immediate family when I was 7 weeks (well, except for SIL who knew when I got my BFP) because they are the people who would have been there for me and DH if anything had happened.

We didn't tell anyone else until after 12 weeks

yellowmelon · 14/03/2021 07:13

If you want to share early, go ahead. I decided to tell my mum at 5 weeks at Christmas as our Christmas plans were cancelled and we already hadn't seen each other for months. Christmas was also ds1's first Christmas so it was especially disappointing. While I was worried something would go wrong, I'm now really glad I shared when I did as it really brought some happiness to an otherwise challenging time. I'm 16w now.

Bmidreams · 14/03/2021 07:17

Similar situation and i think it really helped. Congratulations!

Slacktide · 14/03/2021 07:21

@ChiefBabySniffer

I've always told people within a week of finding out. Miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed of and the current narrative around it suggests that women have failed and should keep it secret. Personally, I couldn't have gotten through the miscarriages without family sort and trying to keep such sad news in and fob opener off with "in fine" would have been impossible.

No, but if the OP is telling her mother she’s pregnant primarily to cheer her up after the loss of her own mother, then rather more is involved than support should she miscarry.

Original poster

J300 · 14/03/2021 23:27

I told her this evening. We printed a photo of our test with one of our Furrbabies in the picture. 😂. She screamed with joy and was over the moon.
Thanks again for all the images. Good luck to all you mums to be out there too!

OP posts: