Husbands and pregnancy.

[Nattitudexxx]

I’m just wondering if anyone is dealing with the same thing. I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and I’m dealing with some issues with my husband. He’s turned against me with a lot of things and even said some very hurtful things that I just can’t seem to get out of my head. I’ve found some things out about him from his past and stuff that seems to be carrying on now in the present, porn etc. I never use to feel like this about things like that but it seems hes trying to hurt me or maybe I’m over reacting. I think the worse thing about it is the lies about everything I’ve ever known about him. I try to push things to the back of my mind and not saying anything but when I do it’s my fault I made him like this and so on. I feel so stressed with it all right now and I seem to be crying a lot. It sucks because I love him so very much but I don’t seem to feel he loves me anymore. I’ve questioned and spoke to him, it’s always my fault and he tells me that he loves me. I don’t feel he does and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Domestic abuse often starts in pregnancy and this has all the hallmarks of emotional abuse. It’s not your fault. It’s him. Do you have anywhere you can go to get away from him for a while?

I'm not going through this but I don't think you are overreacting at all. It sounds like he is treating you with very little respect. Have you been together a long time? Is this your first baby? Maybe he is just having a bit of a wobble about it all (that doesn't excuse the behaviour but just thinking why it might be happening). Also by trying to turn it around and say it's your fault really isn't on 💐 x

Try to get counseling. You need to talk to someone.
To be honest, it is not clear from the post what exactly is happening. What has he done to hurt you? What are some behaviors that are troubling you? What is it with porn etc

It’s really hard to tell from your post OP so maybe try to organise your thought train a bit.

What kind of horrible things has he said? Examples would be good even if they’re not exact.

Pregnancy can be super hard on a relationship. You’re flooded with hormones and more sensitive than usual. I’m 26 weeks into my second pregnancy too and often feel unloved/ignored/avoided by DH. I felt the same in my last pregnancy too and there were lots of tears/arguments (mostly just me arguing with him).

I was literally sobbing for an hour the other day because I felt DH was avoiding me....because he offered to take our DC out without me on his first day off in ages. To him he was trying to do a nice thing and give me time to myself but to me it felt like the moment he had a day off he just wanted to escape me! At the time I feel so sad and awful but it passes fast and I can then see both sides.

We have none of this when I’m not pregnant btw, I’m a very practical and non needy person but pregnancy really affects my emotions.

However, it is common for domestic abuse to start during pregnancy so it’s really important to identify whether it’s you being more sensitive and him not handling the change well/understanding that, or whether it’s more sinister.

For Example

• I said I felt really fat and he laughed at me and replied that I’m a mess and my body will be ruined so no one will want me after this baby - ABUSE

• I said I felt really fat and he laughed and said ‘yeah but you’ll lose it after the baby is here’ - Insensitive

Hey, thanks guys. Yes i think I do feel I need to talk to someone as I’m very emotional and I’ve been through depression before. This is my fourth child to a second partner. We’ve been together for 4 years, married 3. My last relationship was an abusive one and I finally had enough and walked after 13 years. Everything was really good, I felt great in myself and I even lost a whole lot of weight and felt so great. He put me down and said he didn’t like me slim and so on. We spoke about our pasts, relationships etc and he told me he didn’t like some of the things I did and hes never done anything like that, basically being young and experimented sexually. He uses the fact that my ex partner was right for abusing me and I’m drama. Every time I express how I feel, I’m drama. He told me at the beginning of this pregnancy that he was happy then all of a sudden distance his self from me. I found porn sites, deleted social accounts so I couldn’t see what he’d been doing on his phone. When asked he said it’s nothing and when asked about the porn sites he clearly stated he was trying to see if I’m on them 🙄 I know it’s laughable. The things he’s said have gone from he wants me to get an abortion, wished I was dead. At first I thought it was me and I had done something but has time went on I came to realise that I haven’t done anything to deserve this. Yes sometimes I’ll argue back and say things I don’t mean out of anger but nothing compared to anything he has said to me. I know I’m going through some sort of emotional abuse as it’s since recently looking back at when I lost weight and started to look good he would always put me down for it.