My bf doesn’t our baby

[TorahM]

Hey

I’m 12 weeks pregnant and I’m really struggling with the fact my bf doesn’t want the baby. I had my scan yesterday and he didn’t come and it crushed me :( idk how to cope

I'm 36 weeks pregnant now, at the beginning my partner didn't seem to 'bothered' (for want of a better word) and I don't know if it was because he wasn't feeling the physical or emotional things I was and that he actually wasn't allowed to my initial appointments but from I'd say 20 weeks onwards he showed so much more excitement and interest in the baby and the pregnancy. At this point there were probably physical changes he could see, we were telling more people and most importantly he could come to scans then! Perhaps this kind of thing may be the case with your partner? Was your pregnancy planned?

How old are you both? Was it a surprise that he didn’t come to the scan? Was your pregnancy planned?

Talk to him. The best way to find out why he feels like this is to have a conversation. Sometimes it's not that a man doesn't want a baby but is scared things will change too much or they can't afford a baby or its not the right time, usually they're just concerns that can be helped by them being reassured that we all worry about the same things but it works out.
However if he genuinely doesn't want children then you need to discuss where you go from here, if he is willing to give it a go despite his reservations or if he won't stick around. If that's the case then you need to make a decision on what you want and work on how you'll go from here.

But honestly, communicate.