MMC has changed how I feel

[Grigorina]

I’m not sure this is the right section but I’m posting here for traffic. If anyone can suggest a better place for the thread let me know and I can can have it moved.

I had a MMC found at first scan a few few weeks ago. The pregnancy wasn’t planned as our family was complete and at first I was scared and upset.
But. In those three months, I’d started to become attached to the idea of getting to know and love another child.
I feel devastated. DH is supportive and sad but not devastated.

If you’ve been through this, did you go on to try again or did the feeling go away? Logically we shouldn’t have another as we were just getting a bit more sleep and time, but my heart is missing the baby that was and wishes we could try again.

Give yourself some time. You don't need to make any decisions right now. Let your body heal and allow yourself to process what has happened. The grief, shock and hormones combined are probably affecting how you feel and once things settle down a bit you might feel clearer one way or another.

I agree with giving yourself time. You will be feeling all the feelings right now. Giving yourself time will allow you to decipher whether it is a new pregnancy you want, or simply the baby you lost back. Either feeling is OK, but I think it’s probably too early to make that decision now.

Grigorina I am so sorry you have been through this. We had exactly the same happen recently, so I completely understand the initial shock and the notional wrench that this must be.

I can’t really advise as I don’t know how these feelings change over time, but we have given ourselves a window during which we have agreed not to make any definite decision. In three months, we will discuss where we are at, and think about our future plan. Could something like that work for you?

Again, I am so sorry.

@lobsteroll @Enwi I know you are talking sense. I think I need time to process what has happened. I was unprepared for the hormonal changes too.
@Miscarriage39 I am so sorry this has happened to you too. It’s the cruelty of weeks spent nauseous and bone tired when the pregnancy had already ended that has really knocked me for six. Physically it’s taken a lot out of me.
I think I will suggest to my DH that we do the same and consider again in a few months when we’ve had time to process.

Grigorina it does feel very cruel to have suffered so much when there was no growing baby, I completely agree.

I hope you have plenty of support around you, and that you regain your physical strength soon. Sending lots of positive wishes your way.

I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve had 4 miscarriages. 3 of which were missed miscarriages. The pain never goes away, it just gets a little bit easier every day. I’ve had counselling and that has helped. I also suggest listening to “the worst girl gang ever” podcast. It’s on Apple and Spotify they also have Instagram and Facebook accounts.
I’m currently 4 weeks pregnant again, to be honest eat it’s just pure desperation to be a mother that’s keeping me going xxx

@Miscarriage39 Thank you. and best wishes to you too.
@Sallyjo27 I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this awful experience so many times. I hope very much that this baby is the one that can stay with you. Thank you for the podcast recommendation