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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How did you know you didn't want any more children?

39 replies

Sarahlou19867 · 05/03/2021 21:40

I have two beautiful girls and am thinking about baby number three. My husband and I have always said we want three children but it makes me so sad thinking that this will be my last pregnancy. So now I am thinking maybe we will have four.
What made you realise you don't want any more children and how many do you have?

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DramaAlpaca · 05/03/2021 22:30

@Evenstar

I felt sure when I was pregnant with my third that I wouldn’t and didn’t want to do it again. It was almost like something had “switched off” and it never changed after that.

This was exactly how I felt. That plus the awful pregnancy sickness, and knowing that DH would never agree to a fourth.

CustardCreamm · 05/03/2021 22:32

I have twins and I know for sure I do not want anymore.

I love them to death but my god they can be challenging! I think anymore would send me over the edge 🤣
It does sometimes make me sad that I will never experience pregnancy again though.

Chelyanne · 05/03/2021 22:54

We have 5 kids and pregnant with a 6th, ours are 15, 10, 8 & 5 (twins).
In the 1st trimester with current I felt like I was ready to say "no more" looked at sterilisation at time of cesarean but now at 16+3wk I'm not so sure I am ready.
I would happily have a dozen kids but I don't want to go though more miscarriages. I've had 5 between 8 & 12wk and I don't even know how many chemicals, they are really tough and I struggle with the anxiety but still holding a newborn feels worth the pain. I know at some point though the mc's will not be followed by a newborn as my eggs will be too old and more prone to genetic abnormalities so there has to be a time I do say I will stop here. I don't think I'll ever be 100% happy with that decision though.

Bulliedandtired · 05/03/2021 23:04

I have two with ex-husband who are now almost 11 and 13. I met my fiancé four years ago and said I didn't want any more. He had none and had come to terms with that. His ex-wife had infertility problems but they remained good friends upon separation and it wasn't the reason for their divorce.
However, I fell pregnant on the pill at 38 - total and utter shock! But after we talked about it we got rather excited - especially my partner who had never thought he would be a dad.
Sadly I miscarried.
We then decided we did want a child together and started trying. Expected it to take a while as I was 39. Got pregnant first month of trying and now have a gorgeous 9 month-old daughter! Definitely done now though - most people think I'm nuts as is!! 🤣

Babyfg · 05/03/2021 23:11

When I had two when I imagined family photos when the kids were bigger I always imagined three kids. Dh didn't want any more and I was content with two.
When I accidentally got pregnant with number three I was like oh shit and in a panic but after the initial shock (this sounds really cheesy but) I got it into my head he was alway meant to be here and my vision came through. He completes us.

When I think of four kids in the family photo it doesn't feel right. I still gush over babies and love baby cuddles but I'm also very happy to hand them back without feeling like I'm missing something

Hellopickle · 05/03/2021 23:19

Currently pregnant with second baby and we have decided two is enough. Although i'd go for a third, I had a traumatic and complicated birth with my first and don't want to put my body through it for a third time. Partners on waiting list for the snip so we dont have a 'oops pregnant again' moment ha

shivermetimbers77 · 05/03/2021 23:25

I just knew I was done after one. Love him to bits but I’m too old and tired to go through the early months again!

LouNatics · 05/03/2021 23:26

I don’t know. It’s 15 years since my first baby was born and I still don’t know whether or not I want another or if I’m just still grieving for those who didn’t make it.

I don’t know if it will ever feel sorted until I’m too old to have any more. My DH has offered to have the snip but I can’t let him, what if something happens to one of my dc and I need to have another one? It wouldn’t replace them of course. But will I feel better when I’m no longer fertile? Probably not.

Mrstumbletap · 05/03/2021 23:27

About 2 hours after I had my first!

I adore him with all my heart but every ounce of the baby stuff felt unnatural and very uncomfortable. I hated breastfeeding everything about it, just hated it.

With every crying night I used to tell myself "just get through this, you never have to do it again". I hated it so much and remember crying, the tears falling on his beautiful little head and just sitting in a pit of despair. Looking back it's quite clear I had PND.

I would never do that again.

And now I have the most amazing son that I adore with every fibre of my being. So happy with our little triangle family.
So I would

SoundWithoutAName · 05/03/2021 23:34

My last pregnancy was horrible, we both nearly died from sepsis. Had terrible SPD. I really struggled to look after the 2 DC I had during my last pregnancy. I have 2 under 2 just now and don't think I could afford 3 sets of nursery fees if we were to have a 4th.

Ikeameatballs · 05/03/2021 23:34

I would have happily had a third but circumstances were against me. Whilst I still have a pang for a third it’s not a real desire now, I’m too old and my life has shifted away from having a baby/young dc. So I guess I’ve just accepted it.

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 05/03/2021 23:37

I would have loved more, I have 2 with a 6 year age gap. But my husband never wanted anymore. We both very much the wrong side of 40 now and I recently asked him why. I was very sick with both pregnancies and high risk due to a medical condition. The thought of loosing me was to hard for him, he knew i would have liked more but didn’t want to risk leaving our children motherless or loose me himself. He never told me until now - I just thought he didn’t want them.

DollyParton2 · 06/03/2021 09:23

Currently pregnant with no3. I know for sure this is the last. Never wanted 4- my childhood friend was 1 of 4 and her house always seemed to be manic and I couldn’t wait to get away! 4 to me just seems too many in so many ways - too many to really give good individual time or care too, too many for majority cars, just too many people!! There’s definitely increased judgement I think around now for having more than 2 kids, let alone 4.

But 2 just seemed too neat/ tidy/ standard for me. I like odd numbers

PowPurry · 06/03/2021 10:13

4 was always ‘my number’. Currently almost 37 weeks with number 4, and I know this will be our last. So much so DH will be having the snip, and I have absolutely no issues with that. Whereas if he wanted it after number 3, I would have been gutted.

Also as a PP has said, I’ve had awful anxiety throughout this one. A pushing my luck type feeling.

I’ve also spent practically all of my twenties pregnant or breastfeeding so I know it’s time for the next chapter of our lives.

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