Feeling inadequate/angry

[BB142831]

Hi

Not sure if I am posting this in the right place - first time poster.

I am currently very close to my due date with our first baby. I am currently struggling to cope with my SIL. We don’t have a great history and aren’t close, there have been some other issues in the past (nothing major) that have resulted in a strained relationship between myself and her, as well as my husband and her.

She has a child of her own and works within the childcare industry. She said some years ago (not to my face!!) that I am not maternal which I cannot shake. It makes me feel as though she is/will judge my every move. She comes across very passive aggressive in messages IMO (which she only sends to my husband) and I feel as though all offers of help or to lend us things for our baby are trying to catch me out. If we ever say we are excited or can’t wait to meet our baby, it is usually met with a response along the lines of how difficult it is having a child!! I appreciate having a child is hard but is it really necessary to respond to everything negatively?!

I’m not sure what I’m after here, perhaps just to get it off my chest!

Thanks in advance x

Sorry you're dealing with this! I haven't got much advice but I feel its such a common thing for people to always respond with negative things.
It's like they just want to make you dread being a parent.
All through my first pregnancy, if certain people asked how I was and I said tired their response would always be something like "Tired? That's nothing. Just wait until baby is here. You'll know what tired is"
Or like you, saying you're looking forward to baby being here and they make comments like "Ahh just you wait until they're here and you've had no sleep and they're screaming"
I feel like it goes through all of childhood. Like ill say how well behaved my child is and ill get comments like "Just wait until they get to this age.. Or that age"
"just wait until they do this or that"

I just don't understand why people have to say things.
It is a massive annoyance for me!

You are allowed to feel like this. And you are absolutely allowed to get it of your chest. She sounds like a right handful and if I was you I would just let her comments go over your head. Not everyone you know will be happy for you i'm afraid and if she wants to be negative then let her, but don't let her get you down.

I have a family member that couldn't give a crap that i'm expecting and all they keep saying to me is that it's hard work and i'm going to be exhausted for the next 18 years. I just roll my eyes, laugh at her and carry on with it because it's my child and my decision and not hers :) x

Sounds like she’s a bit bitter, just ignore her. No point talking to her about it, she won’t change xx

She sounds like a jealous and judgemental person. People like this often project their own insecurities on others so let it go over your head. You will enjoy your baby and she can just look on from the sidelines. Never give fuel to people like that.