How do you cope with early pregnancy anxiety?

[squidlady]

Hello! So I found out I was pregnant last Sunday and since then I have COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT.

I did a Clearblue Digi on Tuesday at 5w+0 which came up as 2-3 weeks so had an enormous breakdown and spent days googling and freaking myself out and begged a nurse for an HCG test which I had yesterday (results today)

I did another Digi this morning (5w+3) which came up as 3+ so felt briefly elated but have now returned to my default state of panic.

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, had been trying for over a year, and have 5+ friends who've had miscarriages, so I always knew this was going to be hard, but I just didn't know how hard.

Does anyone have any good tips for how to keep calm and zen and que sera sera during this bit? I just can't seem to get through the days without obsessive catastrophising and googling which I'm sure is the WORST thing I can do for a healthy pregnancy!!

If you have GAD do you have any usual techniques for calming yourself down? Breathing exercises, brain activities etc? Every time you want to Google, try doing one of those instead. If you've got time, curl up in front of a good film but put your phone away. Try and live in the moment.
I've also put time blockers on my phone so I can only access the internet for a set amount of time each day which might help stop you living on Google.
Do some DIY self care. Face mask, cook a luxury dinner, do some art, get one of those colouring books. Read a book you've been putting off. Anything that stops your mind racing.

And congratulations on the pregnancy. What will be, will be. There's nothing you can do to change that. This is out of your hands, and all you have to do right now is look after yourself

I would second the above. What will be will be. No amount of worrying will change the outcome.

Thank you very much for your kind replies! You're so right.

It's so weird, I have all these techniques I usually use for my anxiety but for some reason my brain was telling me it would be better to keep on searching and searching for reassuring stories and statistics than to just try and CALM DOWN and accept that what will be will be.

Hopefully all goes well! Ohmmm.

I found it quite useful just to think "today, I am pregnant, and I will enjoy that." May not work for you, but I found it oddly helpful!

I’m on my second pregnancy now (25 weeks) and also suffer anxiety. It’s better this time than in my first pregnancy, no doubt as I’m too busy to dwell but I still get intrusive thoughts on a night.

It’s hard but I found embracing the anxiety was the best way of managing. If I tried to fight it Id just end up frantically googling ‘miscarriage statistics’ at 3am and having a meltdown. So I took control of it.

I found a site that gave the statistics per week and took into account factors like age, height, weight...etc. It was actually quite positive I mean the statistics were not as scary as I thought and I could see the percentage lowering week by week so id feel somewhat reassured. I’d let myself look at it once a day for as long as I wanted but never at night!

I read as much as I wanted to (again only in the daytime) but limited myself to reputable websites like NHS...etc and stayed well clear of personal accounts/horror stories.

I complied a list of questions between midwife visits which I wanted to ask then went to my apts list in hand.

I also threw myself into a spreadsheet of everything I would need. Started obsessively comparing pushchairs, cots and other baby equipment. It channelled all of my intense anxiety into a different channel which kept my mind busy and off doom and gloom topics.

Congratulations @squidlady. I am also 5+3 and also finally got a 3+ today!

I have had 1 successful pregnancy followed by three early losses so am also feeling very anxious. I haven't found any ways of really calming down, other than to keep reading the statistics, which are very much in your favour.

All I can say is that in my own experience, it gets ever so slightly less scary with every week that passes. This is one of those situations where you are totally out of control - there's nothing you can really do to influence the outcome either way, so I am just trying to trust that my body knows what it's doing, and will sustain this pregnancy if all is well and it's meant to be.

Sending you lots of love and positive vibes. Early pregnancy is one of the most tense, exhausting and anxiety-inducing experiences I've ever had!

I have GAD too and health anxiety so pregnancy for me has been so tough mentally. I'm 12 weeks now and so anxious about my scan next week. For me, I have been taking it one day at a time, and counting down the days until I start a new week of pregnancy. I tell myself I've had no bleeding, no worrying cramps so I have no evidence anything is wrong with this pregnancy. The time from the BFP to the dating scan is such a long period of time that I've just tried to break it down into little bits. Be gentle with yourself too, I am an avid reader and have lost the concentration to be able to read, so I've just switched to watching TV, anything that will distract me. I have found it easier as the weeks went along, at first I used to see a day without bleeding as a big win. Anxiety is really awful, I'm finding it's killing my excitement of a much wanted pregnancy x

Oh thank you so much for all your messages! Mumsnet is wonderful!

Some great advice - I'm definitely going to try and stay in the moment, just enjoy each day being pregnant, and at the very least stay away from horror stories.

@treesall Congratulations to you too! Gosh that's mad that we're the same to the day (and HCG level ). Wasn't it amazing when the 3+ appeared?? I haven't even dismantled this one...

@windchangeface - I love the spreadsheet idea - I don't think I'd see that as upsetting or a waste of time even if I miscarry because it would have been a good distraction and useful for the future, and I love obsessing over purchases!

I've had some very strong but very short-lived centred cramps which I'm hoping were just things stretching... I hope so. No bleeding which is good.

I think after so long trying it's just so hard to believe this is real... and anxiety is definitely ruining any enjoyment of it so far!

Congratulations! Cramping is totally normal so don't worry about that - everything is stretching in there.

Like you I have GAD which I normally manage pretty well but PG took it to a different place. I never managed to get over my anxiety tbh. Things that helped in the early days were focusing on closer dates like - "when I get to the weekend I will be x weeks pregnant" and allowing myself to research things that were relevant to me but nothing else. E.g. I know I have low blood pressure so OK to look that up so I can advocate for my care better but not OK to start reading about some other symptom mentioned on mumsnet that I don't even have!

Good luck!

GAHHHH! I'm so confused. I got the call earlier with my HCG results - 1032 for 5w+2 apparently. The woman on the phone didn't seem to think that was a problem (she was all, 'congratulations you're pregnaaaaant!!!') but I know from my endless googling that 1032 is extremely low for my dates.

However, less than 24 hours after the blood test I got a 3+ on a Clearblue digital.

According to the website, the HCG threshold for 3+ is 2753!!

What's going on?! Hopefully it's just rising really fast, but seems weird.

@squidlady The 'normal' range for hCG hormone is very broad. Anything over 18/19 and under 7300/7400 is considered normal. The important thing is that it is increasing, which you have seen for yourself with the CB digitals. Also your hCG will approximately double, every 48-72 hours at these early stages. Although if you have another blood test, don't stress if it is less than or more than double, it is the increasing which is most important, women's hormone can fluctuate day to day.

With the anxiety, have you tried meditation? Even just as a distraction for your mind, there are some really nice ones on youtube, often on channels which offer pregnancy or Fertility yoga. I'm not all that in to meditation in general, but when I need to calm my thoughts, particularly at night I often find meditation useful, some are a bit too affirmation based for me though 🤣

It does seem like you are on track for a healthy pregnancy, and as pp have said try and find ways to distract yourself. I love the spread sheet idea as you will still be channelling all the baby thoughts, but into something which will be productive. Worrying and excessive googling won't do anything other than slow down your perception of time and heighten your GAD.

Congratulations and good luck for the rest of your pregnancy

@squidlady sorry for the essay! Didn't realise I had written as much

@singleTTC31 Oh thank you lovely that's really put my mind at rest! Yes I MUST try harder with meditation, I have such an aversion to it but know it makes such a difference.

I've eased off on the googling a bit but alas not on the obsessive boob-squeezing to check if they're still sore

@squidlady you're welcome! As hard as it can be at times, focus on the positives.

Here is a link for one of the youtube channels I like, it may be of interest to you. youtube.com/c/BettinaRae I came across her and tried her yoga too. Couldn't stay focussed on the yoga, but it might have been my mindset those days though 🤷

I started reading books on my phone to keep my mind distracted. I wasn't much of a reader before but I honestly think I read a book every couple of days during the first 12 weeks!

@Alexastop Ahh reading books on my phone is the one thing getting me through! Any recommendations? I like pretty much all genres!

@singleTTC31 Thanks, I'll definitely check out that channel and give it a go!

I watched totally unrelated documentaries, with Air Crash Investigations being a favourite. Killed hours of time and filled my brain with non baby thoughts.

I used to think 'women have babies every day, there is no reason I won't be one of those women'

I booked a private scan for about 7 weeks to check for a heartbeat and that everything was where it should be but I have to say that only helped for a short time and then I was back to worrying.