Pregnant, unhappy & stressed.

[Fionaprobably]

I need some tips on how to manage the situation I’m in that maybe some of you guys have experience of at the moment?

I’m 4 months pregnant and me and my partner are not getting along at all. I’m completely isolated due to lockdown and I can not relax. We have argued a lot and I just don’t feel like he really cares about the amount of stress I’m under and how he’s adding to it. I’m stuck in my room most days (I have my kids half the week but still try to stay out the way as much as possible so we don’t argue in front of them) as I just don’t want to cause a fuss and I’m not really connected to anyone as friendships have kind of teetered off this past year.

He goes to work, he goes for big bike rides and still has a form of social life. I grow life! In bed most of the time, alone. When we’ve have arguments he says how he’s just going to go to a mates for a drink.

There are a lot more details but the point is I’m really unhappy, don’t feel like I’m being treated well, lonely and I’m stressed which isn’t good for me or baby. Any tips on how to manage this so I can feel happier and actually enjoy this pregnancy? I feel like I’m missing out on bonding with my baby so much.

Thanks x

So having your kids you should have them not him. So he should be the one allowed to disappear I. That circumstance. Rather than arguing about him going to his mates for a drink ( which he should absolutely not be doing) could you instead say “ I’m glad to see you back, I have a lot to discuss with you” then explain your current thinking. If he thinks you are nagging then presumably you could say no, I’d like to also share positive point with you but I feel like we don’t ever get the time and the nagging is all time critical stuff which would be easier if we tackled it more often as we went along.

Thanks for your comment. We have a child each so I still tend to stay out of the way as I really can’t deal with the drama.

I would love to be able to deal with the situation in such a grown up way but it just doesn’t happen.

It also isn’t nagging, the behaviour isn’t ok and I’m really struggling because of it all.

I agree it’s not nagging at all. But you have to frame it in a way that motivates him to believe it’s not too is my point.

Sorry to read this situation OP. Can I ask why are you in your room/in bed most of the time? It may help your headspace to go out for walks more or at least stay more active. Soon you'll be able to meet another person outdoors for a walk, is it possible you can meet a family member or friend for regular walks so you aren't so isolated? Or even go for walks with your partner from now so at least you are doing something together and maybe slowly discuss how you are feeling about everything when you are on those walks.

Also you mentioned your partner doesn't care about the stress you are under, do you mean general stress of pregnancy and childcare or is there more to it?

@Luckyelephant1 thank you for replying. I’m usually very active, daily yoga, cycling and so on. I’m just so hurt at the moment, I feel like I have absolutely no one. My partner knows how isolated I feel but yet we keep arguing which leaves me completely alone.

I don’t really have anyone else near by and I just don’t have the motivation to go out alone. I feel like being pregnant in the pandemic is inhuman and I’m slowly loosing it.

I was doing ok before but the arguing and lack of adult interaction plus everything my partner is telling me I’m doing wrong is just too much.