Anyone Else expecting 4th child?

[Honey2]

I’ve recently found out we are expecting our 4th child. For years now we have been indecisive about wether to have a 4th. Both my DH and I love being surrounded by children and really enjoy family life. In the end we werent ‘trying’ for a 4th but stopped contraception and just thought we’d ‘see what happened’. I’m 40 so I guess I wasn’t even sure it would happen. But it has! Part of me is really pleased and excited, but now it’s happened I am also suddenly questioning what the hell have we done?!

my husband who is older than me (47) will be in his late fifties when this new baby is still at primary school!

I’m worried how it will effect our relationships with friends - our friends all have primary aged children and most are a family of 2 kids. I’ll be the only one with a baby and so many kids! I’m worried we won’t get included/invited to stuff.

I don’t really worry for my own family, my kids have always said they’d be happy with another brother or sister and I feel financially we have enough to go around. Also with the current ages of 11,8 and 4 I feel like There is enough of an age gap between them and baby that I can still give them all the attention and support they need.

I know it’s silly but I guess I mostly feel worried that people will judge us and think we are mad. and while I know it’s no-ones choice /business but our own it’s really taking the enjoyment away from the pregnancy. Stupidly I almost feel like I have to tell people it was an ‘accident’

Please be kind - I’ve really been honest with how I feel.

Thanks xx

Firstly, Congratulations!

Forget about what others may think, if you are happy as a family that is all that matters. Your worry about exclusion from things can be a reality some times with a larger family but you work around it.

Our 4th term pregnancy was unplanned, failed coil. Ended up with twins too so went from 3 to 5, we are expecting number 6 now (planned). I haven't told many people about baby this time waiting until my next scan at the weekend, hoping to find out gender, currently 15+6wk. Hubby has everything crossed for a boy as we have 4 girls and 1 boy atm.

@Chelyanne

Thanks for your message. I know you are right but I can’t help worrying. To be honest I think I also worries when going from 2-3! I wouldn’t change a thing now of course.

Do you know are there any online local groups for large families?? I think I’d feel better if I could make some friends with lots of kids!

I don't know about any groups that run online, I'm sure there will be some though.

Hi ya, I'm the same surprise baby number 4. There was 4 years in between my first 3, from youngest to this one will be 6 years 🤦🏼‍♀️. So it's very strange.
I'm worried what other people will think, esp as my older 3 all have a asd and ld diagnosis.

@Skymum82 big hugs to you. I know it’s really only our business if we decided to have 4 kids but I honestly am so sensitive to peoples opinion!

For example just been to the nurse for bloods - she asked about my previous pregnancy and how old my little boy was.. she didn’t ask if I had any others and I didn’t mention it. How awful is that? But I just felt she’d judge me for having a 4th at 40! 🙈🙈

I know it's awful feeling this way 🤦🏼‍♀️.
The midwife was totally lovely that I had 4 and was not judgemental at all which was totally amazing 😂.
I honestly feel so nervous about having a bump and what people will be saying behind my back 🤦🏼‍♀️.

I'm expecting my 5th at 41. My others are 20, 11, nearly 10, and 19m.

I felt really conscious about going from 4-5 and so didn't actually tell anyone apart from H until 24wks. All the HCP have been lovely about my age and number of kids.