Things looking very bleak - any hope? Slow heartbeat and measuring 10 days behind

[DappledOliveGroves]

I had a MMC last year. Found out I was pregnant on 29 January this year. I should be 7+1 today. I had an early scan a week ago, due to spotting, which showed gestational sac and fetal node of 2.3mm. No heartbeat visible at that appointment and they dated me at 5 and a half weeks (so 4 days behind).

I had a follow up scan today - privately as the EPU won't re-scan for three weeks owing to Covid. There is now a heartbeat but the baby has only grown to 4.1mm and they dated me at 5+5, so 10 days behind where I should be.

The sonographer didn't measure the heart rate but said she would have expected a faster rate and more growth and that it was 50/50 as to whether it would be viable. I asked her if she'd ever seen a successful pregnancy in these circumstances and she said very few.

I know my dates are accurate. I'll phone the EPU tomorrow and try and get another scan in a week or so. But in the meantime, does anyone have any stories of hope? I'm just crying my eyes out. I can't deal with another miscarriage. Everyone seems to be having babies left right and centre. I feel like a complete failure. I just turned 39 last week and just wish I was 10 years younger.

Anyone?

Didn't want to read and run. No advice on your situation but just wanted to let you know I hope you are one of the ones it turns out well for

Thank you @Gem176. I had naively thought that I'd now one way or another by today's scan. Instead it's still limbo albeit looking like a negative outcome. I just don't understand why this is happening.

You're not a failure. Far from it. I know you're anxious and nobody here can take that away I'm afraid, but just know you're not alone x

Thank you @Jamesnesbittsbits. Just feel like an anomaly. Lots of my friends have had one miscarriage - none of them have had two in a row. Everyone said after the last miscarriage that the next pregnancy would result in a baby and it's really not looking likely....

@DappledOliveGroves I just wanted to message you to send you lots of positive thoughts. I don’t have experience of your situation to share, but I have had three MC and know the pain of the hope, and the others around you being pregnant. Will be thinking of you and really wishing you the very very best.

I hope you are one of the few the sonographer is referring to

I had two miscarriages in a row and I felt exactly like you do. Like there was something wrong with me and I’d never be able to carry a pregnancy to term. I now have a 9 month old DD. I know it’s so hard, but try to stay positive OP. Sending you big hugs

Thanks everyone. I spoke to the lovely lady at the EPU and sobbed down the phone. She agrees it is looking like a poor outcome. I have a scan booked for 2 weeks' time with the expectation that the heartbeat will have stopped. Also have a D&C provisionally booked for that week.

It doesn't help that I still have pregnancy symptoms and my cats are still glued to my lap (they get clingy when I'm pregnant). It just feels so bloody cruel. Hoping I might miscarry naturally to save a general anaesthetic.

Oh honey, I’m so sorry.

I’ve had early scans with both of my successful pregnancies. Both times I was told the baby was measuring 1-2 weeks behind. Both times I was 100% sure of my dates, so thought the worst. Both times by my 12 week scan the babies were perfectly on target.

I’ve also had losses though, and MMC so I really understand your anguish. I pray these next 2 weeks fly by and you get a beautiful healthy baby. X

@Enwi thank you so much. I think the problem is that even if the dates were somehow wrong (which they're not), the lack of growth is an indication that it's going wrong. The baby is supposed to grow 1mm per day and it's grown 2mm in a week, so clearly massively behind. Just got to wait now, for another two weeks. The D&C is now booked for the 17th so I might take that week off work, since I doubt I'll be much use to anyone.

I know that two miscarriages in a row isn't super rare, but it just feels so unfair when everyone around me seems to be having healthy pregnancies and babies.

The slow growth was noted with one of mine too, although they were external and not internal scans. The slow heartbeat I haven’t experienced though.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to give you hope if you don’t believe there is any. Xx

Updating this purely in case someone searches, comes across this and then doesn't know the outcome (which I've been doing for weeks and found it so frustrating when people haven't updated threads).

So, the pregnancy has ended in miscarriage at 8 weeks. The slow growth, lack of heartbeat when sure of dates and spotting throughout (plus a clearblue not going above 2-3 weeks) were all indicative that this pregnancy never really got off the ground. I started bleeding at the weekend and still bleeding heavily now. All pregnancy symptoms have gone. I have a scan on Monday to see if everything has passed and if not then I have a D&C booked on Wednesday.

Hoping it might be third time lucky if I do get pregnant again 🤞

Oh bless you so sorry to hear it. I have had 3 miscarriages and it is so heartbreaking . Really hope you have a successful pregnancy next time. Take time to grieve and feel sad because it warrants that x

I'm so very sorry to read this, that is such difficult news. I hope you have good support around you.

So sorry to read this @DappledOliveGroves. Wishing you strength in this tough time, please be kind to yourself x