Pregnant after a stillbirth - the final weeks approach

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

I am 36.1 weeks pg after a stillbirth in Apr 2005.

I have remained emotionally detached from this pregnancy for fear of it all happening again and now as the end approaches I worry that I am not ready.

I finally got practical a couple of weeks ago and we have all the items we will need and nursery is almost finished but its hard to realise that a baby is going to be here.

With my first dd who is now 4, I felt so differently and my sister says you do feel different after your first and not as excited but when baby arrives it all clicks into place.

But i wonder if my feelings are not normal and when baby does arrive I will not be emotionally ready.Does this make sense to anyone?

I am also in a sheer panic he will come early as I have had the house totally renovated and kitchen is not in till end of week. I dont think thats helping with me being able to get ready either.

I had a late m/c and remained very detatched from my subsequent pregnancy, made worse by the fact that we thought the baby may be severely disabled (and possibility of stillbirth). I even harboured awful thoughts about travelling away from home to deliver her and then leaving her in the hospital

All I can say is that the moment she was born (or rather once I had got my head back after a scary delivery) I was "myself" again. I fell totally in love with her and was completely committed to her.

Your feelings sound completely normal. Stillbirth is such a dreadful experience, and pregnancy can be scary enough, that whatever way you cope is ok.

Good luck with the delivery and I wish you all the joy in the world with your new baby.

Hi there - I just wanted to post, because although I have not suffered what must have been an incredibly traumatic experience for you, I too felt the same as you before the birth of my 2nd child. I was more excited about getting my kitchen redecorated than the baby coming! I couldn't really even look at other babies while pregnant and didn't pack my hospital bag until I was actually in labour.

I think it is perfectly normal (and probably fairly common?) to feel like that, and especially so given what you have been through. I had a very quick labour (2 hours) and was quite shocked to see a baby at the end of it. I was a bit concerned about still feeling detached, but after I had a bath and had skin to skin time, it was suddenly all alright.

I really hope these last few weeks go smoothly for you, and i'm sure that once the baby is in your arms, it will all make sense

posted this thread three times so i will end this one
hormones all over place....