Sad it won't be just me and DD anymore, is this normal?

[Bonnie90x]

Hi all, 35 weeks pregnant here and baby will probably be here in 3 weeks or so. I've been a SAHM to my 3 year old with only 2/3 days a week at work. I'm starting to feel really sad and guilty that it won't just be me and her anymore, and I feel guilty for it. Can anyone relate??

I've just been having this exact conversation with a friend. We're both trying to soak up every last minute alone with our 3 year olds. Having two kids has always been the dream but I'm definitely sad that it won't just be me and my little boy any more. From talking to other friends, this is totally normal and everyone always says you just feel even more love when the new baby arrives.

Interesting, not in that situation... But I'm sure it must be fascinating to see your toddler meet their younger sibling for the first time, and see how they bond etc... Enjoy the last few weeks with them before LO makes their appearance!

I feel you! I found out I was pregnant when my first baby (now 8 months) was 2 months old and I couldn’t stop crying because I felt such terrible guilt. I felt so sad. But now I’m excited that I will be giving her a brother and she’ll have a sibling to play with. I don’t think anyone grows up wishing they were an only child.
I’m sure your 3 year old loves your company but the interaction they have with other children is totally different and will be so nice for them 😊

Yes, I was like that with my 2 oldest. When my oldest DD met her baby sister she was so excited then said, “ok mummy can we go home now, you can leave the baby here” 🤣 I mostly missed our snooze times where we’d cuddle for a nap.

I always make time now for each one now, the first 2 I made sure they had one alternate day at nursery so each got a day with me to them selves( I’m a sahm), number 3 has lots of me time but I will do one on one time with the others, shopping days, weekends away etc. It just get better when they get older.

I'm pregnant with my 4th (and we don't know the baby's sex). I have three boys already, and I have this feeling sometimes that if this baby is a girl I won't be "mum of boys" anymore, and I know it's probably silly, but I've seen so many people be disappointed with having only boys that my heart went the other way with it, and have a fear that if this baby is a girl I'll feel strange- even though I know I'd love a girl just as much as a boy. I think the fear is absolutely connected to what people will say though- "Oh you must be so glad to finally have a girl" blah blah and all the silly things people tend to say. I just know I'd get rather offensive in response to any such comments. I saw a gender reveal on youtube once where the parents were revealing a girl after a lot of boys, and one of the boys asked "were we all just practice runs?" Or some such wording and it made me feel so sad for him.

I swear our brains really like to mess with us during pregnancy! When I was pregnant with my third, I panicked about what it would be like to have three, but not from the angle of worrying about coping, just from the prospect of a change in numbers and how it might impact the dynamic between the kids. Turns out there was nothing to worry about there.

When I had my second though, I was all "Cool! A sibling for my DS!"

I'm not in that situation either, since I don't have any living human children yet (well besides the one growing in me lol) but I'm feeling this way about our 3 cats! One of them is extremely needy, very much a momma's girl, and I know for sure she will be incredibly jealous when her human sibling comes along. So I'm trying to give them lots and lots of love and attention now since I know I'll be swamped when dealing with a newborn and they'll be pissed about it ahaha.

Definitely our 2nd was very much planned and wanted but the reality made me bawl my eyes out in sure it was hormones! Oh and how big they look next to their baby sibling it was like he’d grown up over night. But it does fade and seeing them play together is just lovely

OP I can really really relate to this. My DD was 3 when my DS was born (he is now 9 months) and I had exactly the same fears. We had had such a lovely and fun time together just me DD and DH that I felt really sad about changing the dynamic. Fast forward to now and I absolutely can’t imagine life without the both of them - it’s even more fun

Thank you for all the kind and reassuring responses, it's really helpful to gain insight from those who've already experienced a second DC and it seems, thankfully, my fears and worries are unfounded. I'm sure all the hormones don't help matters!!
I suffer from Mum guilt over just about anything usually so I'm not surprised I'm feeling like this, it's just hard to imagine how the dynamic of our little world is going to change so much but I guess I'll be finding out soon enough. Good luck to all those expecting