2nd pregnancy 10 months after loss, high anxiety!

[0xalis]

TLDR: Surprised but happy to be pregnant again, but expecting another MC. Does anyone have any second try success stories to share?

I actually never thought I'd see the day! I'm very excited to be pregnant again but also very scared.
I was surprised to fall pregnant so quickly the first time around, knowing my likelihood to have fertility issues. I was a "unicorn"... but the pregnancy was not viable which we learned at our 8 week scan.
After the D&C at "10 weeks" it took me 2 months to get my cycle back and then they were all over the place. I even had 3 cycles in 2 months! Just last month I had a very long cycle complete with pregnancy-mimicing PMS symptoms, only to have a BFN and a very painful flow began the next day.
So I waited until I had morning sickness to test this time, and was extremely surprised at the dye-stealing positive I got. We are very excited but also incredibly anxious.
To be frank, I expect this baby to die as well. I'm not sure my disabled body (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) can carry a baby to term and my partner's sperm is very negatively affected by her HRT. (Please keep judgment about trans people to yourself, I really don't care to hear if you "agree with our lifestyle" or not.)
But regardless of if the baby makes it to see the light of day or not, I'm going to celebrate this tiny life while it lasts. It's hard to connect to them emotionally after the MC but I am actively trying to do so.
I know that had I not loved and cherished our late April it wouldn't have made it any easier when she died, so I will try to let myself be happy and hopeful for Birdie. (We nickname the fetuses, we have a specific unisex name saved for a living baby!)
Anyone have any second try success stories to share? I want to convince myself it's possible we might be able to have a miracle.

Ds was conceived a week after me coming off the pill. Thought dc2 would be a walk in the park 5/6 years later. I had chemical pregnancies every month for 8 months until i said enough, i couldn't deal with it anymore. 8 months later, one slip up and i got pregnant again. I was convinced id loose the pregnancy, told my supv incase i had a miscarriage in work and had to leave etc. the anxiety had me re testing every 2 days, even at 16 weeks i was still on edge and very anxious. I got better but i didnt relax fully until i got to 24 weeks. DD is 15months old now and the final piece of the puzzle. I understand expecting the worst so if it does happen, it wont hurt as bad but dont let it consume you. X

Took 14 months for me to conceive, lost them early September, I fully expected it to take the same length of time but conceived start of October ! Currently 20 weeks pregnant and hopefully everything going ok.

It is very stressful!

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 8 weeks. The baby simply didn't develop.

My second pregnancy came about 3 months after the first. Like you, I was also relieved and happy to be pregnant again, but terrified too. After some initial bleeding and another early scan it settled down and the result was my DD1, who is now 25.

I spent the entire pregnancy extremely anxious. I refused to believe in the baby because I thought that if I believed even for a second then I was bound to jinx it and would miscarry again. On the day that she was born I even managed to be shocked and surprised that I had had a baby in

I had two subsequent babies - DD2 (now 22) and DD3 (now 18)..

I think that the anxiety you are feeling is normal in light of what you have been through, though you do have to try and relax if possible. It is very difficult though. I was paranoid about even letting family know and left it as long as possible.

Good luck. I hope things go well for you and that you can have a smooth pregnancy. Take things a day at a time.

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories, it is so helpful for me! Just keeping my fingers crossed and reminding myself that my fate and that of this baby is pretty much entirely out of my hands.

Best of luck @0xalis I really hope this one works out for you.

@Calmyertits I found it really interesting to read your post. I had a mmc last year and since have become pregnant 3 cycles in a row but the first 2 have failed at 5ish weeks. I'm fully expecting this current one to go the same way but hoping it doesn't!! I assumed I just can't sustain a pregnancy but you've given me hope!

Congratulations on your new pregnancy and I'm sorry on your previous loss! I had MMC last august and got pregnant again in october, going into 19 weeks tomorrow and touch wood everything is running smoothly, I'm even cooking 2 in the oven this time. Just try and keep positive I know it's hard every scan I've had so far I've expected to receive bad news but everything so far is going really well

I had a loss last June and currently 10+3 with our second pregnancy, we saw a heartbeat and a lovely little bean at 8w3d so keeping everything crossed that it's a success story too. I totally get your anxiety, I was crippled with it to start with and then developed hyperemisis so that sort of took my mind of it (don't recommend that though!) Are you going to have some early scans to reassure you? I tried loads of things to take my mind off it all but nothing worked in the slightest! Im keeping it all crossed that it'll be a success story for you both this time, sending love! X

Congratulations OP, I'm so pleased for you! I am currently sat in bed with my 8m old clambering all over me. I conceived her 3m after a traumatic loss like you had. Pregnancy was very hard for me (although medically it was textbook and she and I were fine throughout) I was an anxious mess!

Let the midwives know! Most trusts will have a mental health midwife specialist who they can give you appointments with to talk to. I ended up having extra monitoring (talking almost weekly after about 25 weeks) as I was so scared I'd lost her, any slight change of movement I went in. They were so patient and understanding with me. They were fab I never felt like I was being ridiculous or a burden to them.

I refused to buy anything or have anything in the house til quite late on. Looking back I was definitely paranoid.

honestly just take it one day at a time, try and focus on the positive things, talk to family and friends and health care team about how you're feeling, and find distractions rather than dwelling.

This is a new and different pregnancy and this one will have a lovely squishy baby to take home in the end!

You got this mama! X

You cannot make a difference to the outcome. Nothing you do will change it so try to enjoy the journey tight now. Whatever happened this is a step along the way.
Everything crossed for you :)