Booking appointment postponed

[shrimp4breakfast]

I was due my booking appointment tomorrow but had some light bleeding today. I had a little last week after sex too. Both times it was just a little on toilet paper and nothing after.

The midwife has postponed my booking appointment and told me to wait a week and phone them to say it's passed. In the meantime if it happens again to go to A&E. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit abandoned and confused. Why couldn't my booking appointment go ahead tomorrow?

@Runkle

When I had bleeding I rang the EPU ward directly. Maybe you'd have more joy doing that? I'd only had one telephone conversation with the midwife so didn't feel I had that rapport with her and it took long enough to get through the first time. I went for a private scan and this is what they recommended, however some ladies may have a better rapport with their midwife. You should find the number on the NHS website . Good luck.

Thanks I'll look into that. I have no rapport with my midwife as I don't even know who they are! Have spoken to 3 different women, none of whom are the woman on my paperwork. Haven't spoken to her yet

@shrimp4breakfast Yeah that would have upset me too. I’ve seen other people say about a private scan. If you feel that would reassure you then absolutely go for it. Just to give another view...if anything was to flag up as not being quite right at a private scan, they just tell you to contact your midwife, they can’t tell you anything else! And there’s a fair chance you would then have to wait until your 12 week scan not knowing what was going on. The thought of that was enough to put me off ❤️

Also with the midwife name on the paperwork etc, I only saw “my midwife” twice my entire pregnancy. And that was after I changed to a different one because of an issue with mine. Some places have a “continuity of care” plan where you see 2 midwives the whole way through with the idea that at least one of them will be there for your delivery too but it’s certainly not that way where I am. We have completely separate community midwives and hospital midwives. What area of the UK are you in?
Just to reassure you though...the midwives I had in hospital for my labour and delivery were genuine angels 😍❤️

Don't worry about rapport with the midwife. There's a chance you could speak to a different person each time, and highly unlikely they'll deliver your baby. I'd describe midwife appointments as mainly life admin.

[quote Squish3]@shrimp4breakfast Yeah that would have upset me too. I’ve seen other people say about a private scan. If you feel that would reassure you then absolutely go for it. Just to give another view...if anything was to flag up as not being quite right at a private scan, they just tell you to contact your midwife, they can’t tell you anything else! And there’s a fair chance you would then have to wait until your 12 week scan not knowing what was going on. The thought of that was enough to put me off ❤️

Also with the midwife name on the paperwork etc, I only saw “my midwife” twice my entire pregnancy. And that was after I changed to a different one because of an issue with mine. Some places have a “continuity of care” plan where you see 2 midwives the whole way through with the idea that at least one of them will be there for your delivery too but it’s certainly not that way where I am. We have completely separate community midwives and hospital midwives. What area of the UK are you in?
Just to reassure you though...the midwives I had in hospital for my labour and delivery were genuine angels 😍❤️[/quote]

Thanks for that info re the early scan. I didn't know that! That's awful to be left knowing something isn't right but that they can't tell you... why is that?

@shrimp4breakfast Sorry, I worded that poorly. Obviously they would tell you what they thought didn’t look right, what I mean is that they can’t confirm anything to you as they’re not “medical professionals”. You then still have to go back through your midwife, set up a scan (which they may or may not pull forward from 12 weeks - they don’t like to in my experience), get whatever issue there is confirmed then see a specialist or whatever. I just knew if I was left waiting for a scan with the knowledge that there might be an issue then I’d be a wreck!

[quote Squish3]@shrimp4breakfast Sorry, I worded that poorly. Obviously they would tell you what they thought didn’t look right, what I mean is that they can’t confirm anything to you as they’re not “medical professionals”. You then still have to go back through your midwife, set up a scan (which they may or may not pull forward from 12 weeks - they don’t like to in my experience), get whatever issue there is confirmed then see a specialist or whatever. I just knew if I was left waiting for a scan with the knowledge that there might be an issue then I’d be a wreck![/quote]

Yes that does sound harsh. I don't think my hope for good news would outweigh the worry of that happening. Especially as I'm on my own for the next fortnight without my partner and because, like you say, it probably would rush anything else forward anyway.

That’s very insensitive, sounds like they’re saying you’re probably miscarrying and they don’t want to waste their time with your appointment.

I think you should complain! Bleeding in pregnancy is common and they shouldn’t write you off like this. It’s not a good standard of care.

I really hope it all works out for you xxx

@shrimp4breakfast Completely agree about being on your own. My DH works offshore for weeks at a time and was away for a lot of my pregnancy so I know the feeling! I’m sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I had bleeding and 3 out of 5 of my friends with babies did in their pregnancies too! I have no idea why it’s talked about more often!

[quote Squish3]@shrimp4breakfast Completely agree about being on your own. My DH works offshore for weeks at a time and was away for a lot of my pregnancy so I know the feeling! I’m sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I had bleeding and 3 out of 5 of my friends with babies did in their pregnancies too! I have no idea why it’s talked about more often![/quote]

Thank you for this I'm glad I posted here. It's not the kind of thing I'd usually do about private matters. I feel better hearing that this is such a common occurrence.

I am saddened that the midwife was so blasé about it all. My partner is raging and talking about going private already. I don't know anything about pregnancy let alone the differences between private and NHS care!

@shrimp4breakfast they can be quite blasé unfortunately (they’re not all like that though!). Sometimes they seem to forget that even though they see these things every day, quite often it’s a first for the pregnant woman and it can be scary!!
There’s always lots of discussion on here about private care. If I’m honest, aside from always seeing the same midwife and costing lots of money, I don’t think there’s a huge amount of difference!
See how you get on at your booking appointment before you jump into anything! Keep in mind though...if you’re not getting along with a midwife you’re perfectly within your rights to request another. I did with mine!!

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through the bleeding, I’ve had three miscarriages and I know how scary things are. In the second one I had my booking in appointment and miscarried soon after and I found it worse having had the booking appointments and they even gave me nappies!! I threw it all away. It is still very early days and although it came across as a bit insensitive, she probably didn’t want you to go through the risk of going into hospital/gp surgery for the booking appointment considering the current situation. Regarding private scan, I had them twice on my first two and they told me that the pregnancy didn’t look viable, I then went to the hospital and they rescanned and I had miscarriage management accordingly, so I did appreciate the reassurance.

Regarding the midwife, I have never seen the same one, but I wasn’t aware people did! Not sure they would remember individuals anyway if they did, they must see so many people!!

8 weeks seems very early for a booking appointment, I thought they were meant to be at 12 weeks, could that partly be why it was cancelled? Mine were all at 12 weeks and they didn’t want to see me before then.
It sounds like it was not handled at all sensitively though.

My booking appointments have always been at 7 - 8 weeks. In my area they are always a good few weeks before the 12 week scan and I know many people who choose to have a reassurance scan inbetween as when the placenta takes over there is often a loss of symptoms.

It sounds like she was alluding to a possible miscarriage so no point in having a booking in appointment till you know otherwise. It is incredibly insensitive but early miscarriages are incredibly common. Some bleeding in pregnancy is normal and you haven't had much at all.

My only advice is to stay positive, consider a reassurance scan and take each day as it comes. You are pregnant today, there is no reason ypu won't be tomorrow x

Thank you so much everyone for your advice. I think I'm just going to settle myself in for the wait and hope for the best. It's a horrible feeling not to have any control over the situation but I feel better for talking to you all about it.

@swaziscot it's typical here to have the booking appointment at 8-9 weeks ahead of the 12 week scan. But I'm reassured to hear that many people have it later or at the same time as the scan.

@Squish3 thank you for the nudge to request a different midwife if need be. I can be guilty of just going along with things and not rocking the boat. I'll see how I go.

I don't know if anyone will see this update. But I ended up going to A&E as advised by the midwife after more bleeding. It was light but I felt stuck and thought, well this is what I've been told to do...

They were wonderful at A&E. I was seen by a doctor who was unimpressed that I'd been put in this position. He booked me in for a scan with Early Pregnancy Team (for tomorrow- Monday) and said this is what should have happened when I phoned the midwife, rather than having my booking appointment postponed. I felt vindicated but it was an upsetting experience. The doctor, bless him, was apologising to me even though he had nothing to apologise for.

So I now have an early scan booked for Monday. I'm really nervous incase it's bad news. But I'm glad something has finally been sorted.

@shrimp4breakfast I’m sorry you’ve had more bleeding ❤️ I’m glad the doctor that you seen was good!! Realistically the only way you’re going to know anything is with a scan so he’s right, that’s exactly what should have happened. In my experience, the midwives in the Early Pregnancy Unit are great too. Everything crossed for you that you get good news on Monday ❤️ Please update us if you can ❤️

[quote Squish3]@shrimp4breakfast I’m sorry you’ve had more bleeding ❤️ I’m glad the doctor that you seen was good!! Realistically the only way you’re going to know anything is with a scan so he’s right, that’s exactly what should have happened. In my experience, the midwives in the Early Pregnancy Unit are great too. Everything crossed for you that you get good news on Monday ❤️ Please update us if you can ❤️[/quote]

Thank you @Squish3

There's been no more bleeding since then. Back to vomiting which is unpleasant but feels like normal symptoms which is reassuring. The early pregnancy woman called me and said my bloods show "levels"of 9,000 or 90,000 ("so you're definitely pregnant"). I forget which she said! It was straight after 5 hours in A&E in the middle of the night so I was frazzled. I've since worked out that she means HCG. My head was too fried to say anything other that "oh, ok"

I'm hoping that's a good sign.

Glad that you managed to be seen.
Good luck for your scan tomorrow.

@shrimp4breakfast Well that’s all definitely good signs 🤞🏼😊 it’s so hard having to wait 😓 keeping everything crossed for you!

Hi all,

Sorry for the name change. Just a wee update that all is well! Scan showed baby is measuring 10 weeks and heartbeat is strong. No signs of any problems. They think the bleeding is my cervix and said this is normal for a lot of women. I'm so relieved. It's a beautiful sunny day and spring is in the air. I have a photo of the scan and can see my little baby so clearly.

Thank you all so much for your support 💕

@prawn4breakfast That's wonderful news. Congratulations and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

[quote Chelyanne]@prawn4breakfast That's wonderful news. Congratulations and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy [/quote]

Thank you 😊

@prawn4breakfast I’m so glad you had good news 😊 and you’re further along than you thought? 😊 Try and relax now that you’ve seen that lovely little baby ❤️

[quote Squish3]@prawn4breakfast I’m so glad you had good news 😊 and you’re further along than you thought? 😊 Try and relax now that you’ve seen that lovely little baby ❤️[/quote]

I am. I'll be 13 weeks when I go for my dating scan. I feel a huge weight lifted off. Thanks for your support @Squish3 😁

@prawn4breakfast fantastic ❤️ I know exactly how you feel! When I had to go in for a bleed they scanned me and as soon as I seen the wee heartbeat the relief was unbelievable! I didnt even know you could feel relief like that 😳 not too long to go until your dating scan 🤞🏼😊