Pregnant and miserable

[MimmyCox]

Hi everyone I hope everyone is doing ok. I'm 11 weeks pregnant, so happy with my partner and thought this is what I wanted but have done a complete 360 these last few weeks. I've had awful sickness and have two large related cysts which have been agony sometimes, making me sick and faint and scared. I'm so confused, at the moment I feel so miserable and just don't want to carry on with it. I'm often anxious and feel this is overwhelming me, making me think I can't take the anxiety of being a mum. Does anyone else feel like this? I've been in touch with my midwife and counsellor too.

I have felt like this in both pregnancies but it has got better the further along I got. The beginning is so tough and it's perfectly normal to feel the way that you do! Are you able to talk with your partner about how you feel? And hopefully get the cysts under control?

@BaaHumbugg Thanks so much for your reply. I have spoken to my partner, he is so supportive but I think it's hard for him to understand also as he's not going through the physical issues. He says that if this isn't the right time for us, it isn't but I feel so confused by it. My hospital is monitoring the cysts, they can't do any surgery right now as it could disrupt the pregnancy. Did you get any help at all or just ride it out?

Firstly, I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. I’m assuming this is your first pregnancy? Pregnancy is a fickle beast in that I’ve found it always makes me doubt even my most certain decisions. I suddenly turn in to this doubtful wreck about everything, from sandwiches to my wishes on how to raise my children. I will say things get better in time. Progesterone is the hormone that’s strongest in early pregnancy and it’s role is to grown the baby essentially until the placenta takes over. It creates a cyst on the ovary that released the egg which was later fertilised. Personally I’ve found this to be painful until around 14 weeks or so. Also those with negative blood types are prone to feeling this pain more acutely. There isn’t too much that can be done for the pain, rest, ginger tea, peppermint if you can stand it, and I was told cocodamols are ok but avoid ibuprofen throughout pregnancy. Also make sure you’re getting plenty of fibre in your diet as this will help things too.
I do hope you feel better soon and do take some relief in the fact it does get easier. Xxx

I'm also miserable. Spending all day sitting in bed, waves of severe nausea, occasional violent vomiting, and painful loose bowel movements. My first was nothing like this, but she miscarried. I am hoping the misery is a good sign, to go through all of this just to lose another baby may make me rethink trying again if that happens. I am so worried I might develop HG, the really extreme morning sickness that can make one need to be hospitalized... I think that I have become very intolerant of dairy so I am avoiding it to see if that helps. I'm sorry that this is so hard on your body! Pregnancy is no easy journey for most of us. I really hope you will be able to get some relief soon.

OP I feel exactly the same. I hate every second of it and am counting down the days and sometimes the hours until I can be not pregnant anymore. I am 13 weeks. I think there is a strong correlation between how sick you are and feelings of regret and depression with pregnancy. I had severe, debilitating, round the clock sickness from weeks 5-12, so bad I had to take time off from work. During this time I seriously considered getting an abortion. I refused to look at the baby or hear the heartbeat at my first ultrasound, I just didn't care. I cried myself to sleep most nights.

I agree with PP that the combination of hormones and feeling so sick can just make you actually go a bit insane. Once I got medication got my nausea under control and as time went on, I started feeling less regretful and anxious. I am still not exactly excited for the baby, but now I can at least handle talking or thinking about it without literally throwing up. People who have not suffered like this don't really understand how much it can affect your mental state.

Hang in there. It absolutely will get better. Be honest with your partner or family about how you feel. Mine has been so non judgmental and supportive, and being able to be honest has helped immensely.

Hi @MimmyCox you definitely aren't alone, I feel exactly the same I'm 8 weeks pregnant and honestly miserable. I've had constant nausea and extreme exhaustion for around 2 weeks now which isn't getting any better, I had an early scan due to a small bleed at 7 weeks and when I saw the screen I felt nothing, I literally felt numb and couldn't seem to feel connected at all to what I saw. I also suffer from anxiety and honestly what you are feeling is completely normal and is absolutely no reflection on how you will be as a mum. This is an incredibly difficult time the first trimester and you just need to do whatever you need to do to get through it, take each day as it comes and hold on. I'm hopeful that things will get better for me too xx