First baby and mil

[Stars92]

I'm maybe going fo sound petty. I'm pregnant with first child, due in a few months. I met up with mil and she said how she couldn't wait to push the pram and that there will be a queue of people wanting to push the pram. At the time I said nothing but now it keeps going round and I wish I had said something. I'm hoping me and my partner will push pram the first while and I don't want a load of people pushing my baby, especially because of covid. She is usually overbearing. Can I bring this up now or just wait and see how it goes? How do people manage grandparents expectations?

@OneForTheJourney

Honestly. I was so one knackered and recovered from birth, I really wanted someone else to push the buggy 😂

^^ I felt exactly the same as this. You don’t know what help/company you are going to need or want once you have a newborn. Not really sure what she means by ‘queue of people’ I’d probably hint that due to Covid it would only be close family that you’d feel comfortable helping out. But if you shut her down before the baby is here then you might regret it at a later date.

@Stars92 it's definitely OK to feel like this. Also it's OK to set boundaries, it's something I wished I'd done with my first, and have definitely already told dh this time what goes and what doesn't. Baby isn't due till early October but I've put my foot down about things such as in laws and my own parents visiting at hospital. Everyone flocked on me 30 mins after my little one was born, they'd literally just finished sewing me up.
Its your baby, you set the rules.

For PP and you OP, I mean, if it's your first you don't need to tell anyone you're in hospital until you're home surely??? You can even lie having given birth and spending that time alone...

Your MIL is just excited, let her be excited and there is nothing wrong with letting her push the pram unless you actually just really dislike her, you're not going to be seeing her all the time and plus, she might be really lonely given how the year has been so needs something to look forwards to? Just get your partner to put their foot down on agreed boundaries.

I hear you! Same happened with my first, it’s very stressful and the first few weeks you are getting used to the baby yourself. I second the advice for sure about setting boundaries. Also when she plans to come over you could say great, pop over, I have a telephone appointment with my doctor at such and such a time or some other excuse that you can be left alone then. It’s totally up to you what time you spend with her but your recovery is not at your expense she might want to be involved but there are limits and you need your time to get settled with your new baby too. You are not being unreasonable to have concerns so talk with your dh now and hopefully he will be a gatekeeper for you for visits!