Hate that I'm jealous of my sister being pregnant

[smileygirl1995]

The title says is all after a tricky few months my sister has found out she's pregnant, I say tricky as her and her partner thought she'd miscarried a few weeks back, still not 100% sure that that didn't happen going to have to wait till the dating scan to reveal when baby is due.
When she told me a few weeks back that she was pregnant but had miscarried as a family we were expecting it but wasn't expecting the miscarriage part so obviously upset for her and the loss of what would have been my future niece or nephew, then not only a few weeks later we found out she's expecting again, not sure if what she experienced was a miscarriage or was just a period etc like I say got to wait till midwife appointment to confirm dates so she's pregnant and long story short and obviously as I said in the title in struggling with jealousy, I've been wanting to have a baby for years and was planning for this year, have planned for previous years but always end up putting my own life plans on hold because of my own family's needs and commitments at the time, with covid added to the mix unfortunately I don't see this year being possible either so I'm struggling in my head to be happy for her, I am of course happy for her and I can't wait to be able to hold my niece or nephew but god does this aching pain stop??? Everywhere I look someone is pregnant weather it be on the telly in a film, my neighbour someone I pass in the street, all my friends on Facebook (due to lockdown obviously nothing else to do lol) everyone is pregnant and it just becomes so hard to see, it's unbearable sometimes not to just scream.
I want to be on my own to have my ow pity party and take my mind of it but then I know I won't get out of it! I'm just really struggling, I don't know what I'm expecting to get from posting this I'm not looking for answers I don't think anyone can help as such I suppose I just needed to tell someone

It is ok to be happy and sad for you. Maybe this is your subconscious telling you to reconsider your decision not to have a baby yet. You are obviously longing for one, I think that unless there are catastrophic hurdles, this is the best moment.

Not belittling how you feel- but not having a child, at the moment t, is your choice. There's never a good time for most people, there's always something else you could/ can do first to make it better easier- but for most of us there is always another thing. You are making the choice to hold off, and if you're no longer happy with that- maybe have a look at whether you start considering that there is never a 'right' time.

If you want to have a baby OP. You should do it. You don’t know how long it will take for you to fall on as the pandemic hasn’t really moved along much I wouldn’t wait.

It's not your sister, it's every pregnant woman. It is time to reevaluate your decision to hold off, looks like you say it's not the time, but your emotions show you feel it is. So maybe it is? Getting pregnant can take a while, you may have enough time to finish other projects first even if you prioritize getting pregnant over other goals.

I think maybe you need to.focus on how you feel about you, babies and your choices?

It's never a good time to have a baby. Having a baby during COVID isn't ideal, but there's no guarantee that COVID will have gone away in a year (given that new variants keep appearing).

Also, do bear in mind that it might take you longer than you expect to get pregnant. For me it took 9 cycles of actively ttc (admittedly I'm in my late 30s).

If you are jealous of your sister, then maybe you need to think about bringing your pregnancy plans forward.

Agree with other posters - do you really know why you're waiting? We put off TTC for various family/personal reasons and then when the time was "right" it took us 3 years to conceive followed by 2 losses. I'm now PG at 37 when I planned to have my first at 32 and may be looking at 1 DC when we'd planned on 2 because of my age and likelihood of more losses having had 2 already...

Don't beat yourself up. It's normal to have mixed emotions, especially with things you feel strongly about. You can only do your best.

Well the answer is to stop putting your plans on hold, and have a baby? It's your choice to not start trying, so I just don't get it?

Sorry but YABVU - it's your choice not have tried for a child already 🤷‍♀️

No one gets pregnant to deliberately hurt anyone else.

It's a bit over dramatic to be talking about the "pain" and being jealous about pregnancy announcements when you haven't even started trying yet or experienced any kind of struggle to conceive/baby loss. You could be lucky and fall pregnant first month of trying but you won't know until you try?