3rd time pregnant

[Advicepleeeeaseeee]

So where do I start ...
I have a daughter 13 and a son nearly 9 I found out I had endometriosis after having my son .
The last say 2 years I’ve really wanted another baby and told my OH , he wasn’t as keen as me but never shot it down .
Last year I decided to come of my pill and kept saying i was off it as I didn’t want to be on a pill for the rest of my life and I want to be off it so that if and when we can we could try for a baby (light hearted )
We have had unprotected sex for the last year and I am now very early on pregnant !
He has even joked about putting a baby in me once or twice but has also said why do you want another . You should be happy with our two we have and I am I adore them . So he has been a little against it when it has been brought up and after all this time I thought endometriosis was preventing me getting pregnant anyway.
So now we are here and I am pregnant I am confused and scared and feel so stupid . He is saying he doesn’t want anymore and he has told me that but clearly didn’t think that over the year whilst having unprotected sex. Ive said we are both responsible and he agrees but he is not coming round , there’s the obvious financial strain and we need another bedroom 🙈 so renovations would have to be done. I feel like I have no option but to end the pregnancy like everything is against us having the baby .
I feel like I’m being made to feel fully responsible as he keeps saying I told Udidn’t want anymore 😢 my head is all over the place as I haven’t spoken to anyone about it . Xx

Advicepleeeeaseeee

So where do I start ...
I have a daughter 13 and a son nearly 9 I found out I had endometriosis after having my son .
The last say 2 years I’ve really wanted another baby and told my OH , he wasn’t as keen as me but never shot it down .
Last year I decided to come of my pill and kept saying i was off it as I didn’t want to be on a pill for the rest of my life and I want to be off it so that if and when we can we could try for a baby (light hearted )
We have had unprotected sex for the last year and I am now very early on pregnant !
He has even joked about putting a baby in me once or twice but has also said why do you want another . You should be happy with our two we have and I am I adore them . So he has been a little against it when it has been brought up and after all this time I thought endometriosis was preventing me getting pregnant anyway.
So now we are here and I am pregnant I am confused and scared and feel so stupid . He is saying he doesn’t want anymore and he has told me that but clearly didn’t think that over the year whilst having unprotected sex. Ive said we are both responsible and he agrees but he is not coming round , there’s the obvious financial strain and we need another bedroom 🙈 so renovations would have to be done. I feel like I have no option but to end the pregnancy like everything is against us having the baby .
I feel like I’m being made to feel fully responsible as he keeps saying I told Udidn’t want anymore 😢 my head is all over the place as I haven’t spoken to anyone about it . Xx

Hi! Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sorry to read that magical moment of finding out has been somewhat less magical :(
What strikes me is you have been honest with your husband about not taking the pill anymore, he has been happy not to use condoms and yet he blames you for the pregnancy? That's very unfair and I would be very hurt. Obviously now is not the time to blame you or him, it's happened. He needs to be supportive, not hostile towards you.
We found out we're going to be parents for the third time not long ago and are scared as we also need a bigger house, my husbands job is unsure and we're in the middle of pandemic. But we talked and talked and came to a conclusion that if we support each other we can do it. The reason I'm saying it is because once you know you can rely on someone and that person also know they can rely on you, even the biggest problems become easier to overcome.
Please do not make any rush decisions, take your time and have plenty of conversations with your husband. Think about different scenarios and hopefully you'll find the one that will allow you to keep the baby and be happy as a family of 5.

Thank you for your reply , we are a bit shocked and struggling to talk properly. I know he would support us But seems to have a wall up and is really stressed over it . I’m scared he thinks I’m making the decision for us all and will resent me . I’m also Very scared but I think we can get through it . I do feel numb because I’ve wanted this and now it’s happened I feel so mixed up . When are you due ? How are you getting on ? And how old are your other children . ❤️

When did you test and tell your husband? Maybe he needs more time to digest the news. Not necessarily to change his mind but to be ready to have a calm conversation with you?
You say you're scared he'll resent you if you keep the baby? How will you feel towards the husband and yourself if you abort it? I wish there was an easy answer, a questionnaire you could fill in and get an instant advice what to do....
My boys are 13 and 10 and are my best friends so I am happy to think I will have a third friend soon! I also look at it as a way to relive my youth in a way - I had my first baby when I was 22. Up until now I thought the baby/toddler chapter in my life is finished but I actually like the thought of doing it all over again :)
Please let me know how you getting on. I'll be thinking of you x

Hi I'm sorry I haven't replied , we did decide we could get through it together and sadly I have miscarried . I went for a scan as I was spotting and they asked me to go back a week later as I may of been too early and when I went back they said I have had a miscarriage. I have been feel really sick and bloated and they have told me my womb is not empty so it is a waiting game now. I'm back this Friday . Thank you for replying ❤️