40, unexpectedly pregnant and worried

[Smidz]

I’ve just found out I am almost 7 weeks pregnant (thought no period was early menopause). I’m 40 and no other children. Having had no idea I was pregnant I’ve done everything wrong so far - how worried should I be?
I have had a mammogram (no protection for baby as didn’t know!), I’ve drunk copious amounts of wine and gin, eaten soft cheese a lot, had liquorice tea in large quantities, and I’ve been glugging raw unpasteurised cider vinegar and honey cos I ran out of tea I could drink and didn’t have any lemons, plus I’ve not taken any folic acid. Argh! Obviously I’ve stopped drinking and eating dodgy things and have had my first dose of folic acid but someone please tell me they’ve been in the same boat! 😬

I am sure there are plenty of people that have also not realised till late that they are preg and eaten/ drunk the wrong things.. I would try not to worry. 7 weeks is still very early development. You could always pay for a private early scan to check heartbeat?

I wasn't quite as far on as you when I found out but before I got my BFP I'd been on holiday on waterslides, drinking, eating oysters, pate, cheese etc and I'm now 22 weeks with a healthy baby. In the first few weeks they live off the yolk sac and the placenta doesn't start to take over until about 8 weeks so they're getting minimal amounts from you. I'm sure you've done no harm. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Thanks both - you’ve reassured me. I’m going to look into early scans but will speak to the midwife when I get on (just done the forms this weekend to self refer) so hopefully they can guide me too. I’m literally googling the hell out of everything now to make sure I don’t muck up anything further - even changing my long hot baths to 10 mins max! You can’t read a magazine in that time! 😭

I sobbed on my midwife at my booking in appointment because I’d done ALL the wrong things and was terrified I’d harm the baby. She laughed at me and said it was rarer to find a woman who’s baby hadn’t been conceived following alcohol and it was absolutely nothing for me to worry about. She made me feel SO much better as she was so relaxed about it. Continue to take the vitamins, to eat well and try snd relax...... oh! And congratulation!!!

I was around 12 weeks when I found out and when I asked about all these things was told there was no point dwelling on it and to do the right things going forward! Stick with the first scan and go from there. Whilst exposure to xray is an issue they minimise it and it is possible without causing harm - I had surgery requiring xray when 24weeks so it is possible with no harm etc.

Wait for first scna and make sure staff aware of th issues etc and go from there. If you are still concerned ask your midwife or gp for more assurance etc

Thank you all for the reassuring messages - it makes a world of difference knowing that everyone has their own story, especially when you wake up in the middle of the night worrying you’re the only one! 😊

My symptoms seem to have subsided now (that was quick!) so presuming pregnancy wasn’t viable. Has anyone had similar and not yet been in the system with the antenatal service - what do I do and who do I contact?

Have you had a bleed? Symptoms subsiding doesn't mean not viable

Hi MoreMorelos,
I’ve not bled but sore boobs, frequent urination, raised core temp at night, abdominal twinges etc have all completely disappeared so wondering if it’s a MMC? I’ve just called GP and receptionist was suitably vague, telling me to go to A&E if I bleed but otherwise just to wait. It seems counterintuitive to wait til 12 week scan to discover things haven’t progressed at this early stage. I think as I’m older and we got pregnant in the first month of TTC I’m not anticipating things are likely to go well, but then I’m a natural born worrier! Thanks for your advice and reassurance.

With my first my symptoms didn't last long at all, my 3rd was all the way through, every pregnancy is different, they can also come back as quickly as they went, try not to worry

This really isn’t a good thing but I took drugs (cocaine) and alcohol early on as I didn’t know I was pregnant (and was young and stupid!)

I too told the midwife and she reassured me, baby is now 17 years old and always has been fit and healthy.

Symptoms aren't a reliable indicator OP - perhaps pay for an early scan to put your mind at ease a bit?

With my first DH and I were on a tour of Japan and I spent early pregnancy inadvertently eating raw fish 3x per day, going to saunas, drinking Sake and all sorts. On the flight home I suddenly twigged that AF was late.

DD is now three and other than strong preferences for sushi doesn't seem to have been affected .

Thank you! Perhaps I’ll try to stop second guessing and imagine a life where I don’t worry! ;) Good to hear your experience - I just need to remember we are all different!