Private help/support with birth plan?

[38WeekMeltdown]

I got to 38 weeks without discussing birth plan with midwife, due to various factors. I just drafted my own as best I could (ideally water birth). Today midwife wrote all her ideas in my notes (no water, early major pain relief) without even realising my plan existed as she wrote in a different section, I'm hormonal and felt upset/bulldozed and still v scared for birth.
I know NHS midwives don't have time to talk properly and I don't want to be a burden, but would like to pay someone privately to actually listen to my preferences and feelings (it's been a traumatic year and a complicated pregnancy) and to advise me on a birth plan and strategies to prepare for and cope with birth as I'm terrified which I know won't help.
Who do I go to? I have found counsellors and complementary therapists with interests in pregnancy/birth/trauma but I am wondering do I actually need someone like an independent midwife to have the knowledge and experience to advise? I googled doulas but they seem to be more support than advice. Aren't the independent midwives shut down because of something to do with Covid? I literally just need to talk, it could be on zoom, to someone nice who has time to listen and really knows what they are talking about re childbirth and doesn't have their own agenda (not bulldozing down a single path but also not rebelling against medical advice to the point of being unsafe). Can anyone please tell me where to start looking? I don't have long! Thank you.

Unfortunately you'll only get a water birth if a pool is available when you go in to labor, 1st come 1st served. They often do not let you have one if you are high risk or if you are overweight (in case they can't help you out). Just staple your own birth plan in your notes, not always read on the day if it's a bit hectic.
I don't even bother with birth plans, nothing ever seems to go to plan. So I just tell my birth partner (hubby) what I DO NOT want and he has to make sure that my wishes are heared if I'm not able to express them myself.

Thank you for replying.

I am looking to find the right expert to discuss with in depth as on some topics particularly pain relief I do not yet know what I want.

You can find info on all available pain relief online.
Gas and air is usually one of the 1st to be offered but that gets you high as a kite if you don't go easy on it. Epidural is pretty nifty, big needle in the spine blocks pain without clouding your mind. Doesn't always work if they don't get it in right. I had a spinal block for cesarean so completely numb but still awake throughout.
There are a few other options but not had those myself. If you like the sound of anything in particular just ask on here for others experience with them and you'll get plenty of stories.

Thanks, I have read up online but I really want to talk through with an expert about applying them to my specific circumstances and situation without putting my life story on mumsnet and am happy to pay for the privilege, I just don't know where to find the right person to talk to.

A doula will indeed be able to listen and provide support. They do not advise but they can provide you with information. There are many midwives who do things like hypnobirthing would would also be able to help especially with your fears. You can PM me if you like. I might be able to help find someone in your area.

PS. Private midwives would also be able to help on zoom even if not being booked to attend your birth.

I printed out several copies of my birth plan and placed these around the room as soon as we got there and our midwife actually read it without us even noticing and followed our wishes. It was only mid way through the labour we discussed it she was already aware.
I also believe independent midwifes are still available, I know in West Yorkshire they still are.
I would also recommend Hypnobirthing, it’s not too late.
Best of luck x

positivebirthscotland.com/midwife-in-my-pocket/

The above will definitely try to help

Sounds like you want a doula. Someone who is there to support and advocate for you. I had doulas for both my births. You pay them to support you and work with the midwives/medical professionals.

Thanks everyone. I was in such a meltdown yesterday and it was nice to feel supported and get some options. I managed to speak to a really reassuring midwife today thank goodness and feel calmer...till the next meltdown! Thanks all.