18 weeks pregnant, stress leave?

[Twinkletoes85]

Hi everyone,

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my first baby. So far pregnancy is going well. I'm anxious as to expected and still really tired but otherwise ok.

In my job I handle clients for others in the company. It has ebbs and flows and currently I'm starting to get very stressed.

I'm not sleeping overly well and work is really getting on top of me, also the woman I work for most can be very demanding and not really compassionate. I'm well aware others in my team also have heavy workloads at the moment so I'm really wary about turning round and saying I can't cope.

I know some stress isn't harmful for the baby but I'm getting headaches, neck and shoulder pain etc.

Would I be a total arse if I spoke to the gp and got signed off?

I have left a message with our HR department to speak to them first.

The only issue would be if you will be on statutory sick pay as your pay right now (weeks 17-25) affects the maternity pay you will get when you give birth. SMP is 90% of average wage (in the above weeks)for first 6 weeks and then the lower of 90% wage/£151.20 for the next 33 weeks

@dementedpixie I get paid sick as office work and my work maternity package is 'enhanced ' so I have guaranteed 6 months full pay before I switch to smp.

That's good that it shouldn't be affected. Just wanted to point it out just in case you were just on SMP

If you don’t want to ask to get signed off could you just take some annual leave for a bit of a recharge instead?

@katiemumma20 I've got a week to take the rest has already been tacked on to my maternity as that's another stressful few weeks I really want to be off for.

I'm not sure how receptive work would be to me taking holiday at short notice knowing I've got these ongoing clients. I had three days off last week and no one touched anything of mine.

I also feel it's something I've been close to doing in the past due really to this one particular woman and have raised with them numerous times and maybe now is the time to finally say sod it I (and now baby) come first and not be guilted into stressing myself out for them again

I guess it depends on a lot of things - if you plan to be signed off for the whole remainder of your pregnancy, that's a very long time. It may impact your progression on return to work. I'd encourage you to try and get signed off for a pregnancy related reason rather than stress to be honest as people tend to be more understanding about that.

Also sounds like a lot of the stress is being caused by this one person, is there a way you can escalate this or have an open conversation with her so that it is resolved, even if you also take some time off? Otherwise it might just repeat itself whenever you return.

Could you negotiate some unpaid leave for a few weeks as a middle ground? My company are very good at doing this for those who are stressed, rather than having to get signed off. I think being pregnant gives you much stronger cards to negotiate.

@notalwaysalondoner thank you for the advice.

I only plan on two weeks, by then the clients will be gone past that are really causing me the stress for now. It will also put me past 20 weeks and my next scan so hopefully a bit more relaxed about the pregnancy and even feeling her by then (anterior placenta). I'm not having a particularly hard pregnancy by any means but the tiredness doesn't seem to want to shift and I'm not sure how much of that is baby and how much is stress.

She's a known problem, it's been raised multiple times but multiple people, I had a meeting last May with management about her and they were supposed to rejig my workload to make it more manageable but that hasn't happened. They're fully aware of the panic attacks I've had and the stress in the past. I feel a bit pushed into this being my only option, partly for mine and baby's health short term but also to make a point to them long term. I'm very sure a colleague went off with stress before Christmas and I know they had a lot of her work at the time along with other things.

I'm hoping HR call me back in the morning so I can discuss some options with them before I make the final jump and go off sick. It's really not my preferred option but I've been on the brink and pushed through so many times now. I have spoken to HR in the past but their option was mediation which isn't really an option.