Help

[RacerRobyn1995]

I've just unexpectedly found out I'm 5-weeks pregnant. I feel completely lost and like everything is falling apart - my boyfriend isn't ready and doesn't want to keep it. I'm not ready either but I can't imagine having an abortion.

We've been together 4+ years and I'm 25 and he's 28. I have a stable and well-paid job, although I have literally just accepted a new job offer and don't know what to do.

My boyfriend has a job although he works for a charity and their funding is under threat at the moment because of coronavirus, and it's not really enough to support us both and a child.

I feel like I can't speak to anyone because I don't want to disappoint family members if I choose not to keep it.

I've always dreamed of having kids and thought my first pregnancy would be the happiest day of my life! I feel really depressed and alone

Hi @RacerRobyn1995 I didn't want to read and run, as it sounds like you are in a really difficult position.

I think if you always dreamed of having children, they always arrive when they are meant to!
I also think, from experience, there is no way to prepare for having a baby really, especially financially. If you wait until you can 'afford' a child, you never will!

Saying that, having a baby is a real partnership, so it is really important you are both on the same page.

Is your boyfriend aware of how you feel, and that you feel like you may want to continue with the pregnancy? xx

Hopefully some women with more experience will be along to offer some practical support soon, but I just wanted to say, this won’t be your only chance of having children.

If you decide that now isn't the right time to have a baby, you have plenty of time to start a family in the future.

Thanks so much for your response, really appreciate it.

I thought I'd made that clear over the past 2 days since we found out, but apparently he was under the illusion I was undecided until this evening!

So he knows, but he still thinks it's a bad idea. He wants to be in a good enough position in life that he can support and be there which I fully understand.

Such a hard decision :( can't help but think that if we did have the baby he would change his mind. Is that a thing? Xx

Thanks @JemimaTiggywinkle you're totally right. Just such a hard decision and I don't want to make it without my partner