A bit deflated

[altlife]

Perhaps a bit of a self-pity thread...

On Sunday I found out I'm pregnant with my second. DH and DS over the moon, and my family all excited. But I feel a little...blah. Rang the docs yesterday, lady on phone barely acknowledged what I was telling her. Midwife called me, she was lovely and gushy but doesn't want to see me until end of March - is that normal? With DS I was seen quite soon.

I am happy, we've been trying a while. I think this time round I'm feeling more worried. DS is nearly 7. I feel older (I'm 36) and slower this time and I'm worried my body won't handle it so well. It's almost like I'm trying not to get my hopes up then telling myself off because I should be willing this little one to survive. Help?!

No one?

Sorry you’re feeling as you do.

End of March sounds about right assuming you are 4/5 weeks. You get less appointments overall with a second too.

I am pregnant with #2 and tbh it’s not the exciting joyous feeling I had with DS. We were trying, so wasn’t a surprise, but definitely more anxious about whether we’ve done the right thing, what’s going to happen, how will my body cope. Not sure if it’s because I’m worried about how I’ll manage, or whether it’s because of Covid always being in the back of my mind, or whether it’s just all these blasted hormones.

I found paying for a private scan at 9 weeks helped me, personally, as it helped with the ‘wow it’s really in there’ part of things. Last time I ‘felt’ pregnant mentally, even if not physically. Whereas this time I don’t really feel it physically or mentally, if that makes sense?

Have you spoken to DH about how you’re feeling?

They normally don't see you until around 10 weeks as the chance of miscarriage is so high.
You were lucky to actually speak to them early haha. Haven't been contacted until a week before my appointment with all of mine 😂

@Keyboard91 I haven't spoken to him candidly but he does know I'm worried about whether I'll manage it this time around. You put it very nicely, 'wow it's really in there'. I like the idea of a private scan, hadn't thought of that but I do think that would go some way to putting my mind at ease. Thank you

I had my first at almost 36. I was absolutely fine. It's very normal!!
Congratulations.

@SnooperTrooper12345 I was surprised when she called me the same day! But thanks for letting me know it's normal. I'm seeing her at 8-9 weeks which is some comfort! I guess perhaps bcos it's the second they don't rush right in but I have a huge gap between kids so feeling a little anxious

On Sunday I found out I'm pregnant with my second. DH and DS over the moon, and my family all excited. But I feel a little...blah. Rang the docs yesterday, lady on phone barely acknowledged what I was telling her. Midwife called me, she was lovely and gushy but doesn't want to see me until end of March - is that normal?

OP, I think you need to distinguish between your own feelings which are obviously important and should be listened to by you and the behaviour of total strangers. It wouldn't occur to me to expect any acknowledgement of a pregnancy from a GP receptionist on the phone, or to expect a midwife to be 'lovely and gushy' about a pregnancy. Are you reassured when other people 'gush' as you want someone to be excited when you aren't?

@Blueuggboots

I had my first at almost 36. I was absolutely fine. It's very normal!! Congratulations.

Thank you

@Pluas I hadn't really thought of it that way. I think I'm trying not to get excited because I'm worried, so maybe if others are excited that gives me reassurance? I think once I've seen the midwife I'll be able to relax a little

When I found out I was expecting my wanted second I felt flat. It was like I suddenly realised I was "going back to square one" and my 3 year old was all I wanted. It was a feeling that passed and I never regretted it.

[quote altlife]@SnooperTrooper12345 I was surprised when she called me the same day! But thanks for letting me know it's normal. I'm seeing her at 8-9 weeks which is some comfort! I guess perhaps bcos it's the second they don't rush right in but I have a huge gap between kids so feeling a little anxious[/quote]
This is the case now with all pregnancies.
It was the same actually with my first 7 years ago and the same with my second 3 years ago.
It is just simply because they miscarriage rate before then is so high

@crossstitchingnana

When I found out I was expecting my wanted second I felt flat. It was like I suddenly realised I was "going back to square one" and my 3 year old was all I wanted. It was a feeling that passed and I never regretted it.

Thank you. I think I just needed a bit of reassurance and this has helped. On top of which I'm feeling tired and seem to have aversions to all foods at the mo which isn't helping! I know it will pass, thank you

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and my first midwife appointment is Thursday so your timeline seems right - this is my first pregnancy. I wouldn't be expecting GPs etc to be excited about my pregnancy- they see this all the time.